Borderline, anyone here experience with dating a girl ( or guy ) with borderline, how did it affect you?

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i suspect a girl I've dated for a month of having borderline traits, anyone experiecen with dating borderlines, especially women, how did thez behave, and make you feel


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i never dated any one with borderline but i sure as hell was raised by a person who's had it all her life. till this day i struggle on living a normal life thanks to her. i can write a book on the nightmare i lived the whole first 23 years of my life. now i'm 27 years old and i bet if it wasn't for her i would of probably be the most successful person in my whole family.

    also both of my older brothers were in relationships with borderline bitches, they even had their first kids them and boy did that fucked up my family. i wouldn't wish a person with borderline not even to my worst enemies. hell i dont even date do to the fact that i fear into running into a chick with borderline. i dont know if its just me but the majority of the women i've ran into seem to haver borderline. oh that is right! it is more common in women, so more reason for me to fear the dating world

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    • yeah, i agree with you im sorry for you. Borderlines seem to be able to move on with their lifes, and completely destroy others. i suspect this girl of having borderline as well, we never had any problems, and she telling me we can't be together, out of the blue, came as a shock. we had tons of fun, never an arguement, she has mood swings and can't make any decissions, but yet tries to stay in controll. it really doesn't bother her that her behaviour tears me apart, if i could turn back time, i would have acted differently, not as nice, it really hurts me a lot that all of a sudden i dont excist to her anymore. women are prone to borderline because they tend to look for abusive men, and develop borderline afterwards, so nice guys actually get fcked

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    • i just can't figure out what makes her think this way. i believe in the good in persons but she simply sees not to care about it at all, i even bet that when she sees me with another girl being happy, she will not like it.

    • what is the best thing i can do to make things right, that we at least have an open line of communication... how do borderline woman respond to jealousy? or seeing their victims happy with someone else, while thy are seeing others themselves

What Girls Said 2

  • I've got BPD, and I had to swear off dating until I got help. I was married when I found out, and I still hate myself on several levels for what I did to him. He has forgiven me, and he's ok now, but I know he still has emotional scars. DON'T blame yourself for anything she does, because she has her free will. Don't make excuses for her. Don't let her break the boundaries you set to protect yourself. It's not your job to fix her, and she won't get help until she is ready. Depending on how old she is and how aware of herself, she could be ready for help or nowhere close. If it's the latter, it might be better to get away. BPD is caused by environmental factors, and it is very possible for her to turn you into her.

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    • we have talked before, it really hurts me a lot, and it makes me angry seeing all the attention she gets, just because she looks good, i do get attention as well but im always struggling to make things work, like with her, and then this. she really doesn't seem to give a damn about me right now

    • I wasn't sure if I remembered you or not, I'm still working with 2 other guys in your situation. I really think you need to let her go and save yourself. She's consistently hurting you and as much as you care, right now it's only going to drag you down with her.

  • No, but when I look uped the symptoms for borderline, I realized my formerly best friend has it. I'm no longer on speaking terms with her, because she made me feel like a nuisance she had to deal with.

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    • My ex friend used to make me feel this way and people thought she had borderline too. Our friendship ended because she backstabbed me for a guy.

    • the problem with borderline individuals is that they most of the times don't get diagnosed. they dont see themselves as a person who has some problems. yeah sometimes they do but it never lasts long. you can't help these people. they see themselves as the most awesome persons, in my honest opinion there isn't much of a difference between them and narcisists. but in reality they are sad, lonely and petathic individuals. i know it sounds hatefull calling them petathic but they truly are. my ex girlfriend threw me into a depression. i got insult after insult, treat after treat. every time i tried to reconnect i got shoved into the ground even deeper. the people she hangs around with are totally obvloious to her behavior. she uses people and lets herself be used, that hurts the most. i loved her, but other guys are aware that she is a serial cheater, and she sees no risks in her having unprotected sex. my advise stay far away from people like that, it ruins, seeing them ruining their own life.

What Guys Said 2

  • i simply reminded myself how i felt ten minutes before i even knew she existed, then i shitcanned her and never looked back.

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    • yeah im capable of the same if i didn't have to see her smirky face every day, i really feel like making her pay, but at the same time, i still have feelings for her, thats the only thing holding me back. i want us to be on friendly terms but she seems to care less about, we work at the same place... so i find it very childish of her to act this way

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    • she won't say that, i gave her plenty of chances to talk to me, she never did, she didn't decline these chances but she didn't seem open either

    • ok that's pretty cool.. the two of you are on par... your achilles heel is your feelings, which could come back to hurt you if they affect your productivity on the job. in that case your supervisors might use a spot performance rating to fire you. i'm not busting your chops, just saying be very careful.

  • I dated a woman with BPD last year. Things were great at first, but as we became closer emotionally, it just became too hard for her to process her feelings. She started cutting again and became depressed. We had to stop seeing each other romantically. I still love her. We are very good friends and we talk almost every day, but, for her sake, I know things can never go back to the way they were.

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    • i feel your pain man, but it simply won't work, these people need therapy and for years. it will never go away but they will learn to deal with it. My ex girlfriend didn't cut herself, at least never saw her doing that, but she does other irresponsible things. if i see how she raises her daughter, her daughter knows every bad word in the book. i never been treated with such disrespect by a person as by her. i could do nothing right. always black and white thinking, if i didn't make her pregnant, which was her fault as well, she never told me she stopped taking bc pills, if i didn't told her i loved her, and asked her to be my girlfriend, i could have been on good terms with her right now, but as it is right now, im not. she hates me and probably will never stop hating me. there is no point in loving or caring for these people. it will only ruin you, im not the same person i was. i used to be fun, relaxed, now im pretty agressive and depressed. it doesn't take much to make me explode out of anger

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