How many guys on here have been rejected for being inexperienced?

[Anonymous]

I'm 21 and I've never been on a date, kissed a girl, or had a girlfriend. I've never asked a girl out and now I feel like it's pointless to even try because most girls want a guy with experience and expect him to be experienced by this age since she will most likely be experienced. I just wanted to know if I was to try, how much rejection am I in for because of this? I honestly don't see any way out of this situation besides lying about my lack of experience, which is sad but at the same time I don't feel so bad because a lot of girls lie and say that lacking experience isn't a problem when it really is. And to any girls that answer this, Please don't lie and say it's not a problem or something like it's "cute" and "sweet" or the right girl won't care. I can see through those lies and I know that you say that not to make a guy feel bad. But you know what? It hurts more to be rejected by a girl you like for being inexperienced than simply being told online that it's a turn off.

[introvertedHeartache]

You want straight up honesty from my opinion? Here it is: Coming from a 20-something virgin whose first boyfriend was 26 when she was 19, all he ever did was brag about all the chicks he's been with and OMG turns out I even knew some of them (girls who warned me too). He claimed I was in the mid-20s when I asked him what # girl I was? He rubbed in my new-to-dating face how inexperienced I was and how I should do EVERYTHING his way because "that's what people do" which pressured me to do things I wasn't ready or comfortable with - yet. Although, I kept my virginity (glad I did). In the end, his "experience" made me nervous and insecure because I felt like I would be compared to the other girls he'd been with and I feared I would fail miserably. So I don't like it when a guy is really experienced.

I do genuinely like a guy who would wait (not for marriage but for the right girl or for at least to be in love). I held on to mine because I want my first time to be with someone i love who loves me and I just didn't feel like I could love a guy like that. Now, before u call me a liar or doubt me, I will admit as a virgin I am afraid that dating another virgin might seem awkward for the two of us in the beginning as we both may not know what to do or get too nervous making it a bad experience. NOT saying I WOULDN'T date a virgin, but if a guy had a LITTLE experience and knew a little more than me (being the virgin I am) then at least he knows what he's doing and can help guide me a little with my first time. Hopefully then I'll learn and it'll be great for the both of us.

[Slavanna]

The "never asked a girl out" part bothers me. You don't know it first hand. You've never been rejected for lack of experience personally. And seriously, I've never heard of a guy asking a girl out going like this:
Guy: So, you wanna go out for a drink?
Girl: Sure, oh, btw, you a virgin?
Guy: Yeah...
Girl: U-uuuummmm... sooorryyyy, gotta run.

I doubt anyone would talk about it at all when setting up a date. Just let it flow man, let it flow.

Also, I'm a virgin so I don't know jack about sex, so I can't tell you what's the difference between an experienced guy and an inexperienced guy, and frankly, I don't give a rat's ass. I'm not saying you should go around doing hymen check on every girl you see, but maybe the less-experienced girls will be less prejudiced about sex with a virgin than you expect experienced girls to be?

[Asker]

well I wasn't imagining the scenario that you said, but I've read stories from other guys who said that after a girl found out how inexperienced he was, she broke things off shortly after and this happened several times. Now I wouldn't say anything about it unless she asks, but I almost feel like its better to lie than be honest if she asks so that I'm not taking the risk of her breaking things off after finding out.

[Slavanna]

If a girl is ready to break up over such a petty thing, she's not exactly worthwhile. I shouldn't be the one to talk, though - a guy rejected me over being 2 inches taller than him and a year after, I'm still heartbroken (we see each other on daily basis, so that doesn't help much).

[Asker]

Well I've talked to inexperienced guys and they've said that they have been rejected a lot for being inexperienced. Most girls will say that they don't care when they really want a guy who knows what he's doing.

[Slavanna]

Check out how the things are for yourself. Really. These guys might be very well exaggerating, or blaming their failures in other areas on their lack of experience.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a virgin and I can tell you that it's not a problem for me. The second partner I ever had was a virgin. I was his first, and I was glad that he told me. Actually, we had fun with it when we tried. I had a lot of fun teasing him and seeing what turned him on. Our first few times were pretty awkward, but it let us learn a lot about each other.

And to be quite frank - I don't think girls are as hasty to jump into sex as guys are, meaning she will probably only want to be intimate after you guys have reached a certain point of seriousness in the relationship. So if she's into you, I don't think it will matter.

[misscoffeehead]

In my experience, i have not rejected someone who was inexperienced, we all can't be perfect.. When i look at them and see how they are inexperienced it makes me think of the first times i've been inexperienced at things... I give everyone a fair go

[Phoenix98]

I'm pretty much the same as you twenty one never kissed a women before of course that is hard when your in a long distance relationship in high school. Except I've had a couple girlfriends the fact that I haven't done anything didn't bother them not that I care regardless as I am waiting until marriage to lose my virginity and nothing will change that. And if you do get shot down o well life goes on you'll find another girl the only way to get experienced is to keep trying until you succeed and gain experience in whatever it is your lacking in. And if a women is shallow enough that she will break things off with you just because you lack experience then was she really worth the effort in the first place. Look for a real partner someone who will be with you regardless of whether you've done something or not, who will work with you on the areas you lack in and build you up not tear you down those are the kinds of ladies you need to search for.

[Asker]

That's a good point. I just feel like I need to get this fixed soon because as you get older, the pool of women who will go with an inexperienced guy gets smaller and smaller.

[Phoenix98]

Not really a problem if I can't find a suitable wife to bear a child I'll simply adopt. My on;y goal is to make sure the family name is passed on to the next generation.

[kheserthorpe]

Outside of hooking up most girls don't care about experience per se.

The problem with being inexperienced is the mistakes you make, not that the -idea- of you being inexperienced is generally a big problem.

If you're looking at a more hookup type situation, she doesn't want to know its special for you if it's 'just fun' for her.

[theman1919]

Inexperience hurts during sex... Its hard not to cum during oral and hard to know how to please her. Dates, etc... Its kinda easy as long as you're confident. During sex you need to be confident too, but in a way that calms you down and not be too giddy. Practice holding it in when you masturbate. That helps a lot.

[Asker]

That's even if I can get to that point without being rejected for lacking experience. I'm just starting to come to the conclusion that I'm gonna have to lie in order to get out of this situation.

[theman1919]

Just think you can get the girl you're going after and you're confidence will go up. There's plenty of girls out there. Some will go after you if you're confident.

[Asker]

Thats gonna be hard to get, confidence is something I've never had before.

[yellowmamba024]

Damn I want to know if being rejected for being inexperienced is a myth or fact. Well I am scared that I will cum too fast and the girl knows that I am not experienced. That can be very embarrassing. For sure I will hide the fact that I am inexperienced unless the girls like shove the question down my throat, which I doubt any girls would do. I mean they will let the action tell the truth.

[Asker]

Yeah dude I'm gonna hide it too, but I kinda get the feeling that they'll ask about your past relationships eventually and then the best thing to do is try and do something to change the subject and if she is being persistent and asks again, then you kinda have to tell her because she backed you into a corner. I've been reading stuff online about guys getting rejected by girls for being inexperienced and talked to some of them and they said that they've been rejected for it a lot. I've learned that 95-99% of the time girls will say that inexperience doesn't bother them, when really most of them want a guy who knows what he's doing and they just don't want to say it. But depending on the girl, she might not refuse to date you just because of that, a guy with experience might just be her preference. As for cumming too fast, they make these condoms with desensitizing lubricant to help you last longer, and just research the shit out of pleasuring a girl so you have a better idea what to do

[yellowmamba024]

Yeah, it's unavoidable. You have to get experience somewhere even though you are not. The best we can do is if we try to be our best selves as much as possible so that she seriously doesn't even want to care about our sexual experience anymore.

- Be caring, but not too caring
- Be interesting
- Be interested in HER. Not just her body (probably the most important trait)
- Show that you are a leader, make the decisions, show her that you are the boss
- Don't show too much insecurity
- Fake confidence if you don't have it. If she is interested in you, your confidence will naturally increase
- Be fit and healthy

I think if you do all that, a sane and reasonable girl will care about your sexual experience less. It's not guaranteed that she won't care, but at least you tried doing your part.

[Asker]

Yeah I agree. And you gotta try and not be labeled as "nice" and that's what I've been working on. People mostly said not to let her walk all over you and be a doormat, and don't go out of your way to do nice things for her, but I don't know if I'm still going to come off as too nice.

[yellowmamba024]

Yeah I know right? Like when you really seem like you are doing all the right things to not be too nice, but somehow you are still labeled as too nice because you are not an "attractive" douchebag. Geez women are just so damn difficult and downright weird.

[Asker]

Yeah you've got that right lol. I try and do what people say and not be a doormat and make myself less available and make sure what I want comes first, but I'm still labeled as "nice." Maybe some guys are just born jerks and some are born nice.

[yellowmamba024]

Getting women to like you... really is something out of our control. Best we can do is do our parts. If the women still reject you, then just move on. It's her loss.

[ilovchipmunk]

Also i want to ask How many guys on here have been treated unfairly like being a womanizer just for good looking and sociable?
and How many girls on here have been prejudiced to being a money worshipper just for their intelligence, pretty , good salary and high social status?

[rosaliethayer]

Anyone who would turn you away for being "inexperienced" isn't worth your time anyways. Just go for it.

[Asker]

Well I've heard that lots of girls do, and that they lie when they say it isn't a problem. So...

[rosaliethayer]

I wouldn't say it's a problem. Honestly.

[Asker]

That's a lie. I thought you said you were answering honestly.

[rosaliethayer]

Stop being so paranoid. I'm inexperienced when it comes to physical stuff, and my last boyfriend was too. I find guys that are inexperienced less intimidating, and people that I can be more comfortable around.

[justaregularguyy]

I don't think girls care about experience. I'm 21 and a kissless virgin as well and I'm pretty sure girls want a guy they find attractive that has similar interests or attractive personality traits

[Asker]

Yeah I agree with that. But I've also heard of girls breaking things off with a guy for lacking experience.

[Klaatu51]

i've never asked a girl out because of my choice LOL

[Anonymous]

It has happened to me about 4 times.

Now I just pretend that I'm a player, and I sort of am. So strange, it's the opposite with women. Women want to fuck a guy that gets around? I've turned down women who I thought did that.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess it could be because girls are attracted to a guy who is desired by other girls and being inexperienced might make them think that you are undesirable by other girls. I really think it is true when they say that most girls will say that it's cute, sweet, or not a problem but really most of them want a guy who knows what to do. I guess the best thing to do is what you do and act so confident that you come off as a player and if she still asks, just lie.

[Opinion Owner]

I think that's pretty sad the one person would feel the need to have another person's validation and approval of their sexual partner. I fuck who I want to fuck, but I guess I'm just weird.

[Asker]

You mean like a girl getting approval from one of her friends?

[Opinion Owner]

Sometime, but not even one of her friends just knowing that there was another girl, could be anyone, who wanted your cock.

[Asker]

Oh yeah, kinda like what I was saying. Being inexperienced could very well portray to her that no other girls have wanted your cock.

[Irish_cutie]

fuck experience I think virgin's are cute! :3

[Asker]

Liar!

[Irish_cutie]

haha I am not lying :) I think it's cute having an unexperienced guy. Just means I get to teach him everything I know and watch as he enjoys what I do to/ for him. To be honest it's a huge turn on for me! :$

[Asker]

Well you might think that way and I know that there are some other girls who think the same way, but the problem is that girls like you are a minority compared to the girls who are put off by it.

[Irish_cutie]

You can not think like that though. You should be embracing it not letting it get you down. It just means that when you find someone you are going to treasure that moment more than anyone else. All of my friends told my best friend that they were jealous of him because he was 19 (he's almost 21 now) and he was still a virgin, single, never had a real girls (2 girls one for 3 hours other for 2 days), and he's never kissed a girl... and the reason they were all jealous is because he saved himself from all those heart breaks and meaningless sex, because they regret it all.

Do you really want to be the guy with handful regrets or the guy with the ones that meant something? that's the real question! :) Even I have my handful of regret and wish I waited. I am sure one day you will be laying in your bed next you an amazing girl and say to yourself "Damn I am so glad I experienced that now and not before"

[Asker]

I don't think that's something that I will ever embrace and will most likely be a burden until I lose it. I told a guy i worked with at a summer job for the county fair after he asked me and he said the same thing that he was jealous of me because he lost it at 16 to one of the biggest sluts at his high school and he wished he would've saved it for someone that mattered after that. And people have told me that lacking experience is more of a problem for girls who just want to hook up and have casual sex and isn't really a problem for girls who would want a relationship, but I don't know if I believe that. I've read things online about girls breaking things off with a guy after they learned he was inexperienced, so I think it's a problem when it comes to both hooking up and relationships. I would probably rather have the regrets first before finding a girl that meant something because then I don't have to worry so much about being rejected because of it.

[Asker]

Here's a quote from yahoo answers that I found completely true: All women are different but you will probably hear 90-98% of women say it doesn't matter, they think its sweet etc etc but in reality most want a man who knows what he's doing. Women love sex just as much as men do no matter how hard they try to make it look otherwise. Loosing my virginity got a lot easier when I decided to lie about being a virgin. The best advice is to lie. So that's another route that I'll probably take is to lie about this even though I wish I didn't have to. If I met a girl that I liked and she seemed interested, I'd rather lie and get to stay with her than be honest and risk losing her.

[Irish_cutie]

Hun don't be like that :( This is kinda making me wonder who you are! You should never hide you are because you feel no girl will like you. I do not get why you are putting yourself down like this. Do you think you could message me? So we can talk about this a little more and I can find out a bit more about you. It'd be easier to help it I knew a little more about you. :)

[Cómoestás]

You don't need to be laid. Just enjoy life and do the healthy activities.