My gf has self harm scars on her thighs?

Question

So i started going out with her about a month ago. Today we were making out and i pulled her skirt up a bit and she had heaps of self harm scars on her legs. She quickly pulled her skirt back down and said she had to go. I stopped her and asked her about them and she said they were from about 6 months back when she was depressed. I honestly don't mind the scars and think she's gorgeous no matter what but she told me she thinks they're disgusting and won't blame me if i break up with her. I want to prove to her that i love her and her body and they don't matter. What should I do? How do I help her?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I have a ton of scars as well, when I first started dating my ex they were all still really recent and really red and noticeable. so they really embarrassed me, but whenever he would notice me looking at them or when I started to seem sad he would take my arm and kiss each one of my scars then would go to my leg and kiss each one of those ones. Tell her that they don't bother you and that she is just as beautiful with them as she would be without them. There isn't all that much that you can do to help her other than be there for you when she is ready to talk. It's a really hard thing for people who have self harmed to be able to talk about it, since nobody seems to understand. Just be there for her as best as you can and tell her how much you care about her and that when she is ready to talk you will still be there.

udolipixie · Accepted Answer

My gf has self harm scars on her thighs? What should I do?
In my opinion it's suited to dump her as likely you do not have the ability to cope with a potentially be an emotional/mental unstable gal who may become depressed again and self-harm. I highly doubt you genuinely love this gal, will be with her in 3 years, or she'll be a permanent place in your life.

How do I help her?
Perhaps advice her to a support group and therapist for the reason (s) of her prior depression.

Hanjheo · Accepted Answer

If she is still self harming, you should find a way for her to get professional help. But honestly, every girl is different so you'll have to prove her your own way. Be there for her mainly and show you that scars don't matter.

e92brah · Accepted Answer

me too i have scars all over my fuckin thighs but they remind me of who i am today, how different i am from the person i was when i did that to myself. sure, sometimes they get me down, examine them and i just stare at them in disbelief, but that just reminds me how far i've come since i did that.

i have probably around 200 scars on my thighs and if my significant other forced me to talk about them like you did i would feel uncomfortable. don't do it. next time you see her ask her to please tell you about them because it will bring you guys closer together. tell her you will make sure she never feels like she has to do that again. most importantly, keep an eye out to see if there are any new ones because if there are then you need to seriously help her but right now she is fine.

justbanANNAz · Answer

aw ur a nice guy:) i think u should explain to her how beautiful she is. in times like this, what you need to do is be very soft with your baby girl. you may want to hold her in your arms while laying down or have her on ur lap. be close with her. tell her something like this, which isn't made up, but in fact, very true:

"u know what babe? i always thought you were beautiful, but seeing those scars on your legs made you even more beautiful to me. wanna know y?" *wait for response* :P
"because they mean that you're a fighter. u went through a bad time, and u were weak, yea, but you got back up. look at you. you're nothing like that anymore. those scars r supposed to remind you that you overcame something which once broke you, and I'm sure you're strong enough not to break like that again. you're still beautiful to me. i promise". << dont say 'i promise' if u dont mean it tho.

tmlrm007 · Answer

tell her that you dont care what her body looks like and that you'll be there for the ups and downs.

i went througha similar thing and i had some do that and if it was wasn't for him i probably wouldn't be there.

soccerchick4eva · Answer

Just tell her what you pree much just put in that detail part "I honestly don't mind the scars and think she's gorgeous no matter what " :)

Panzer103 · Answer

If they're disgusting whys she do em.

Anonymous · Answer

Just be there for her

My gf has self harm scars on her thighs?

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