He makes EVERY excuse not to see her... WHY?

I am debating whether to speak my mind or just let things play out. My roommate is currently in a relationship and the guy she's with lives about 6 hours away. Last year she took the bus to see him and really wants him to come see her at our school. For the past month she would get excited and tell me and our other housemates that he was coming. The first time he "said" he was coming to spend the weekend with her but at the literal LAST minute he says "I have another obligation"(it was church related) then the following week he says he'll come but doesn't. His excuse was he couldn't find a ride. Then this pass week he didn't come because his ride conveniently "got into an accident and messed up the car"(not that I think he's lying but I found it rather suspicious)
Just a question do you think he really cares about her? Because I don't, I feel like if you really want to be with someone you'll try to make it work. It just seems like he's not putting in any work and I want to say something but don't know how to put it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Here's the deal with long distance relationships. They simply don't work. Average lifespan is 5 months. I don't think you have to tell her anything she already doesn't know. She's an adult and probably suspects the guy of being not that into her.

    It's one thing when a girl comes to you because you don't have to work. She's doing all of it. All of a sudden when he's not doing anything to come to her it becomes obvious. Unless she's totally oblivious, she'll get it soon enough. Keep your mouth shut and be a good roomie.

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    • lol that was my plan from the beginning but my issue is our other roommate and her friends would influence my roommate to drive and see him. She's very naive when making decisions and can be easily influenced. I guess I will stick to my plan and say nothing.

What Girls Said 1

  • I've been in relationships like that... where I was making all of the efforts to make the long journey to see him, but every time it was his turn to travel to see me, something came up.
    How did those relationships end? With him never making those efforts and when I complained about it, I was dumped because he just "wasn't ready" or "hadn't cared that much to begin with".
    So I understand why you think he doesn't care about her, he certainly isn't acting like he does.
    I believe as you do, if someone REALLY wants to see me, they'll make it happen. I won't have to keep asking, week after week.

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