How often should friends with benefits meet up?

Decided to enter into a friends with benefits relationship. Despite my reservations. However, we didn't talk frequency. Should this have been discussed? Unless it's once a week on average it's not worth my time. Sometimes two weeks but on average every week. I'm thinking before we that this relationship any further it needs to be discussed. My last one went bad because it was never discussed. I felt like he was holding me on a string.

Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You should probably discuss, casually, I mean your /friends/, right? :P - your sexual proclivity. That is, how often you want to have sex, really. No pre agreed on amounts (by which I mean, 'I solemnly swear that we will have sex once a week at least', lol that's... silly & that's just superrr iffy to me. Obviously be willing to budge a little if you're able, but also be firm about when you actually can't, or just don't want to, budge. Boundaries are good and healthy. Anyway, you should nonetheless let him know you'll look elsewhere if he's not 'satisfying' you 'enough' :P hehe. Not in a threatening way, tho.. tbh, I don't see why you can't be having sex with him and some other dude/person (if yr not only into dude, I don't know I've literally just got on here 2day!!) if he's good in bed, but not wanting it as much as you. But honestly we're jumping the gun here.
    Even tho I ID as lesbian now, I've had my share of dalliances with dudes, so.. haha. Nah, generally speaking, the dudes I've been with consider 'every day' to be a moderate amount of sex. lmfao. Maybe I've just been with a load of horny frustrated teenage boys, but! Look, you're implying a week is excessive? I don't know your dude, obvs, but I'd bet ya he's gonna be fine with once-a-week sex, if not thrilled about it, LOL.

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    • Once a week in the beginning is kind of bare minimum for me. It could taper off to once every 2 weeks. I am just thinking of a casual way to bring it up, say 3 weeks pass and then he wants to see me and once every 3 weeks is not worth it to me.

What Guys Said 3

  • Friends with benefits provide at service to one another for mutual benefit. The frequency should be as often as one of the NEED it, not wants but needs. If you needs it one a week, then at least once at week it is or it's not going to work.

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    • Yeah on average. I'm not going to just go along with what he needs.

    • The amount is not really important, the important part is the premises for the arrangement. Like whenever one of use feels like and we both have time, or something like that.

  • As often as you want/can.

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  • Till you get the guts to pursue something deeper.

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What Girls Said 1

  • In my experience it was when ever the need arose. It varied from a few times a month to a few times a week.

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