My crush talks about his ex bad or good?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for this being so long, but this has not stopped going through my mind. I really need help. We're both 16. He talked to me about the awful treatment of his last girlfriend. It was kind of off topic. Honestly this question is kind of a mixture of a what do I do question bc I really like this guy. We're so close. We talk and text everyday. He smiles when he talks to me. He looks into my eyes. His legs point towards me. His siblings started talking to me. He touches me. He compliments me. But I get these doubts. One of my friends jokes to me that he's gay. He'll compliment my friends. At one point, I was convinced he had a crush on one of my friends. Today he sat far away from me when there was a seat right next to me. And he's friends with so many girls. I'm one of his closest friends though. I just don't know how to make him more. I think he likes me sometimes, & sometimes I'm just not so sure. I told him I liked him the first month we met, he just smiled but I know he didn't feel the same way since he went out with another girl. That's why I'm too scared to tell him/ ask again. But I really feel like things since then have changed. I've known him for over a year now, & I really just want him to tell me how he feels. It's clear that I still like him.

[sfauo]

If he's talking about her, then she's still on his mind. It's never a good thing, but also it's not necessarily bad if just had to vent.

Given that you've already shared how you felt with him, I think perhaps it's in your best interest to at least give it some time.

[Asker]

Yeah he was talking about his relative that made a bad relationship choice,& I guess he remembered his ex. He's only dated 2 girls. But yes I'm trying to be patient. It's been over a year though. And I've seen him go out with a girl (it was so painful), so Im just scared that I'll bore him and he'll start to like someone else. He doesn't seem interested in anyone else though. I don't really care about "going out"bc we're young and we have time to do that; I just want to know that the feelings are requited.

[sfauo]

Don't worry about boring him, if that happens then it wasn't meant to be. Any other guys catch your eye? Since waiting a year for someone seems not only an awfully long time but a miserable one too as you're seeing him hang out with other girls and such.

[Asker]

I don't let him stop my social life. I still hang out with my friends. I hang out with my guy friends too. But I've never met a sweeter guy with better morals than him. He's the nicest guy I have ever met. And he's smart, good looking, kind, and a complete gentleman. He loves his family, & oh the way he treats his mother. He's so geeky and isn't afraid to be weird (in a good way) which is so attractive to me. He's just so out of my league moral wise. I know it's probably just because I'm a teenager, but I don't think there's another guy like that. Everyone thinks we're going out. I'm sure there are sweet guys, I don't think there can be another guy to make me feel this way. I've tried keeping my eyes open. But I can't seem to say yes to any of the guys that ask me out; I'm just not worth their time. I'm already infatuated.

[sfauo]

How long ago did you first tell him how you felt?

[Asker]

It's been about a year.

[sfauo]

Well since you say you've gotten closer, then I'll change what I said before to just keep talking with him. The way you say he acts with you is generally leaning towards interested, but since you're unsure about how he truly feels then best to keep expectations low. As in if he doesn't seem to flirt more with you than others, no big deal. And if he continues to spend time with you, then go from there.

[Asker]

What really is flirting? How do guys flirt? I'm sorry I should probably know by now, but whenever I ask my friends they just say that I flirt all the time with him. But yes I know. I tell myself that I have more options, & I love lying to myself that id be happy even if we're just friends.

[AlleyCat1982]

You should keep your distance. Clearly, he's not over her. Move on before you become his back-up plan and you're the one hurt.

[Asker]

He acted disgusted in her. He was actually talking about his family beforehand and their bad choices, & she came into the bad choices category I guess. I've tried keeping my distance, but we've gotten too close. The farther I try to run, the closer he comes.

[Klaatu51]

let him talk about her