She said she likes me but confessed that she like another guy too?

(I included a TL;DR at the end) On our first date it was established that it's okay to date other people if you're not exclusive to someone. That part is common sense. A lot of people tend to casually date until they find one person they're really into.

After our first date things definitely picked up. She usually calls me at least once a day, and if she doesn't we're still texting. We went on a second date and ended up staying with each other for about 8 hours. Towards the end things got very intimate. We cuddled in my car, kissed, and watched the sunset.

Then a couple days later she drops the ball on me and says there is another guy she likes too. In my opinion, having two guys to pick from is different than casually dating, and I made that a point. We got into a big argument about it. We both agreed that two dates, no matter how good the connection, is not nearly enough to establish exclusivity. However, I don't think it's fair to me to be a second option and I would have to walk. She became upset and said she understands, but said she really likes me and wished I wouldn't walk away from her. She also added that, however, she isn't in a position to be exclusive with anyone at the moment.

I ended up just not replying after a while to her text, and the next day she sent me a couple asking me to please not ignore her. I don't know what to do. I really do like her, and I get that this is reality, but I'm irritated that she told me about the other guy. It would have been different if she said "I'm dating other people" instead of "well there is another guy I really like."

TL;DR
Went on two dates. Things went great. She told me she likes another guy but also really likes me. I threatened to walk away and not risk being second fiddle. She's asking me to not walk away but it's too soon to be exclusive.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If she actually liked you there would be no reason to have another person that she is "casually dating", even if she doesn't want to be exclusive. HOWEVER, you did basically tell her that it was cool to like more than one person, so you can't be butthurt when she tells you just that. I would suggest doing the same thing she is doing, get another girl, and just say you might have feelings for the other girl too, but that if girl one wants you to stop talking to girl two then you will. Don't be a doormat second fiddle for this girl. If this irritates you then stop doing it to yourself, get out before it hurts too much to let go

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What Girls Said 1

  • She probably wants an ego boost so she wants to see what guys stick around

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What Guys Said 2

  • You are trying to play both sides here. You can't pretend to be cool with not being exclusive then turn around and get butthurt that she's not being exclusive. I say keep her in the stable, you have her working for your affection.. but don't put her on a pedestal.

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  • You're absolutely right. Don't play second fiddle. If she feels so strongly about you, she should have no trouble being exclusive with you. Don't give her time to "Sort things out" or she'll string you along as long as she can.

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