I am a 25 year old who is a virgin, never had a girlfriend and never been kissed. Am I a loser?

I have never had a girlfriend in my life, never kissed a girl nor have I had sex. Growing up, I was quite a shy person and I never really got any attention from women. Now as the years have gone by, I am quite an outgoing person. I have lots of female friends and I have no trouble talking to girls, I can just never seem to be able to get that much interest from women, not through lack of trying, I have asked out a few women whom I felt attracted to, all of whom said no or said that I was "too good to date" WTF does that mean? I do get discouraged and sometimes I do get a bit depressed about it and I think that I am destined to be alone and a loser.

Another problem is I'm scared that if I get into bed with a girl, and I don't know what to do she will be like "WTF you're 25, why are you so bad in bed?" It's really embarrassing. I feel like most girls wouldn't want to have sex with a guy that doesn't know what he's doing at the age of 25.

What are your honest opinions? Am I a loser?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not a loser. And as for getting a girl in bed, just tell you're a virgin before hand. She won't have a problem with high expectations then, and will make your first time more memorable. The comedian Jimmy Carr famously lost his virginity at 26. He jokes about it now.

    You can reinvent yourself at any stage of your life, it's never too late.

    The loser is the guy who gives up when he had plenty of time to change things. He just couldn't be arsed and sobbed his way into idleness until the deadline for change really did pass him by.

    Don't be that guy.

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What Girls Said 47

  • What do you want us to say, to feel sorry for you or to laugh at you just so you could be even more miserable?
    You are the only one who can make thing happen, no one will do it for you. You want to meet girls and have friends, you have to go out there and do something about it. Waiting for it and do nothing won't make it happen. You don't have to change yourself but just move your ass and be motivated. It's hard, you have to work on yourself but in the end, you would be happy.

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  • Relationships can be complicated. Sex can be too but also fantastic! This isn't on 25 and a Virgin. Fancy a date? ;)

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  • Pay attention to your personality, if you're not confident yourself then no one will even look at you because is all about what you feel about yourself and project that to the world! Your personal hygiene matters, how you present yourself to the world that's how you get treated. I haven't seen you myself but of you want answers think deep inside and better yourself! If girls don't pay attention to you is because there's something wrong and you know it but you got to better yourself not only for them but to feel good about yourself

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  • I think the main issue is your attitude about it. See it in a more positive light. My twin sister was in the same boat as you the difference being is that she sees it as an opportunity to achieve more until she finds that special someone (which was only JUST recently, but it's temporarily long distance). You'll find her. All you need is a little patience and an optimistic outlook.

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  • You are soooo not a loser. In many ways, that is actually attractive, my friend. There is no shame in that at all; it is actually very much a good thing.

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  • no ur not pathetic. i wish more guys were like u=]
    its very admirable. u have no idea.

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  • Why is that laughable? Maybe the people you meet just aren't a good match. 25 is still young and you can't be so hard on yourself. I wish more guys were like this, instead of liars, cheaters and womanizers. No, I commend you for being a 25 year old virgin.

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  • "too good to date" wtf is wrong with girls these days, can't even say "sorry, not interested" ?
    Anyway, you're not a loser but you're a unsual case and need to acknowledge that. I suggest different kinds of dating like online where you'll find a more comprehensive girl. At this point. i believe it's better to be honest from the beggining, if you want something meanful. Tell them exactly what you told us, that you were shy and all. A nice girl will understand.

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  • What do I think about it? I don't care, it's your life, it's not good or bad, it is, that's it.

    I wouldn't find it awkward but I wouldn't date a virgin.

    I think you should tell the girl because it's something important.

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  • I think it's awesome, I don't believe you but if a man really was a virgin and has never kissed a girl at 25... I'd wonder why. You don't seem socially awkward, as far as how you presented your question... so yeah. if a guy told me what you just told me, I'd be okay with it. and it'd be good to know early on in the relationship, yes =)

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  • Don't say those awful things like that about yourself. You are not a loser and no, you are not pathetic. Everything happens for a reason and you have to accept it and know that your time has not come yet. Maybe if you want a gf, you can start doing things that will contribute to that.

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  • Try going out and meeting some. Sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help.
    I'm 19 and I'm single too. I'm also a virgin and I've never been kissed or had a boyfriend either, but it doesn't affect me because I don't care.

    And being a virgin at 25 isn't common nowadays, so don't do anything you'll regret. Wait for Mrs. Right!!

    If you hate your job then search for a new one.

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  • You're not. You just have to take a look at your life to understand why you've come to this.

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  • show me a photo. cute, good job and good manners count for a lot. in the end girls are attracted to confidence. what are you best at doing? meet girls while you are doing that.

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  • No you aren't. You're not a loser.

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  • Who said that to you? You're not I feel that's wonderful that you're still a virgin and so what if you never had a gf. You just haven't came across that wonderful girl yet. I'm like everyone else don't beat yourself about it. Just live a happy life until that somone and special moment comes

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  • No u are not a loser

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  • I think its great! That means you are willing to wait for the right girl or thats what it sounds like in my opinion. Personally I dont care about all of that if im attracted to you then im attracted to you

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  • I don't think you're a loser. It might just be that your lack of self-confidence is preventing you from having luck with girls. What do you look like?

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  • No, I bet you're great but you didn't find the right one. I wouldn't have any problem to date a guy like you :)

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  • You definetly need to work on your confidence, because it's holding you back. Also figure out what you can bring to the table to impress a girl. Like, get in shape, save up for a nice car. Those are big things, but little things, like a nice hair cut or always smelling good. Focus on being fun. There is a study that the funnier you are the more attracted people are to you.

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  • No that is not laughable. You just haven't found a special someone. I had never kissed a guy until I met my husband. I met him, and the ball just started rolling. I also have a friend that is in the same boat as you. He thinks he is pathetic... but I tell him otherwise. He just hasn't found a special lady yet. You will too.

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  • No don't give up. I'm sure the right girl is just around the corner. Yes I just used a cheesy, classic line but whatever. You're still very much young so it's not over

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  • i do not think you are a loser... :) you just haven't meet someone who will take time to know you and what you are about... and who would appreciate you for You... i feel getting into a relationship takes time and finding the right person is all that matters.. so just keep up with the Positive attitude.. and continue with life.. do not let what you are going through hold you back in life.. :)

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  • Only a slut / player would say that. Find some one compassionate to your circumstances.

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  • Are you happy in your life otherwise?

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  • You are not. I didn't have a boyfriend until 23. I felt very depressed before I met him, but now I'm sure that there is someone for everyone

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  • You're not pathetic. Don't beat your self up like that! You have the rest of your life to do all of that stuff. Loosing your virginity shouldn't be your top priority, getting your life together and getting your education is. There is someone out there for everyone and you will find your solumate.

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  • Are you saving yourself for marriage?

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  • Don't overthink it. It's normal. Your time will come!

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What Guys Said 48

  • Welll dont feel sad, ur not alone. im 21, I also am a virgin, never kissed a girl, never went on a date. i was like u in high school and now got out of my shell completely.

    Now the key is, keep asking girls out. even if u get rejected, it will build ur confidence. I've asked many girls out and got rejected. But i already knew that i'l get rejected cause i used to get nervous when i ask them out and that's a huge turn off for them. I kept asking girls out intentionally to build my confidence, u see girls find confidence really really attractive. Everytime i asked a girl out and she rejected me i felt less embarrassed and more proud. That helped me become more confident cause now i've overcome the fear of getting rejected and have nothing to lose.

    Now i have no problem asking girls out at all, and i've hung out with many of them. I even got the chances to get laid a couple times. But my situation is different, i'm saving myself for marriage so i turned them down xD (Guys don't hate me n throw banana peels at me n stuff :P).
    My basic plan was to overcome the fear and shyness that i had and build my confidence so when i am actually ready to get married and find a decent girl i will be ready and not have a problem asking her out.

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  • Your problem is you're trying to friend your way into pussy. You can't do that. You cannot be friends with women you are interested in. Stop doing that, and you'll see your success start to change.

    Stop talking about your lack of experience. Fake it till you make it.

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  • You are not a loser. While it may be hard to keep up a good attitude, you need to try. I agree with your plan... workout a bit more and try to maintain a healthy weight as that might help. Also try some on-line dating chat/dating sites. Yes some may cost a monthly fee, but be honest about what you post and you might be plesently surprised.

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  • Now I am in a similar boat to you.

    I'm 25 and a Virgin, I've had one relationship and I'm worried because I feel abnormal. It's one thing to be in my shoes as a 20 year old, but when you hit the mid-20's and beyond it really does affect one's confidence, morale and it does cause me to fear opening up to a woman about my lack of experience in case she gets freaked out by it and sees me as a weirdo.

    Where we differ is I know that my own failings are my own and have nothing to do with women. It's so easy to point the finger at others, but actually your finger should be pointing to you.

    It's also unwise to punish the new women you meet for the mistakes of the old women, that's detrimental and if that's what you are doing then you are sabotaging everything out of the gate.

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  • I'm this moment, yes I think you're a loser. But that doesn't mean you can't change in that department. Of you think you're a bit chubby, work on it.
    If you need help on your game, work on it.
    If you keep comparing your life to others, all you'll see is shadow.
    Be yourself, be genuine, but adapt. Know better. Pride yourself. Love yourself before you love another.

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  • You cannot hang your entire happiness on having a girlfriend. You need to start taking control of your life and work on all those other areas that are bothering you.

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  • Alright , so tell me.
    Why do you want a girlfriend that badly?

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  • nope you are not a loser you are just new to this stuff. Listen, go for a relationship and months into the relationship when it's getting serious, tell her you are a virgin. A lot of girls actually find that attractive they want pounce on you and de-virginize you, or at least think you have a lot of self control/ values to not have had sex till now. plus, they feel flattered your allowing her to be your first, hopefully she will understand. Now there will be a couple of cunts who will say i can't do this or it's just so weird, but just learn to filter the bad ones out and let the good ones in

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  • The question is why do you feel like a loser or pathetic?
    There's no reason to feel like ether of them as having sex doesn't make you any less of a man.
    In fact think of the plus side. When you do meet the 1 you can just say you always wanted to save yourself for that 1 special girl, then tell her she is it. You might even get a brownie points for making her smile.

    Being a virgin is only embarrassing when with a bunch of mates so if need be just do what most teenage boys do now days and lue

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  • It's really not a big deal, you have somuch accomplishment are waiting in the rest of your life, No need to sit on a path drawn by others, there is an animaed short call 《One Minute Fly 》, i hope the film enlightens you as the way it enlightened me.

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  • No, there are millions of guys just like you. The problem is that all these females are fucking the same handful of guys, so 10% of men are taking 80-90% of virginities. That leaves most virgin guys like us unable to find a suitable partner here who is on our level sexually. It's a societal problem, so don't beat yourself up..

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  • A loser in my opinion is someone that was a total show off in high school, dropped out, now has to work a shitty job for a minimum wage.. that is a loser

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  • You have to evaluate that, not me. If you're happy and content with your life choices then you're not a loser by default.

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  • have sex with a prostitute dude... don't be stuborn!

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    • He should only do it if he really wants too, if he doesn't feel comfortable with having sex with a prostitute then it's better if he doesn't

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    • thats the issues im talkin about. you should get a rid of that. there's nothin better than having someone who cares for you. and meaningful sex is the best anyway.

    • @jackyct

      So you've slept with enough prostitutes to know its not as good as with someone you care about? Na, you don't know what you're talking about.

      I've fucked whores and girlfriends, it makes little difference, pussy is pussy.

  • be hapy that you never had. i'm 23 and i feel happy that i never had one.

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  • Quit lying. Move if you have to in order to get around women, work on your confidence and approach. You have to stop being so passive with women.

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  • You're not a loser. You're just inexperienced.
    There are way too many lovers' guides out there for you to use virginity as an excuse to suck in bed. It's unfortunate that all these women rejected you, where they generally in your league or not?

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  • dont ever give up take it as a blessing and look at it as you are saving yourself for someone special. i recommend dating on a dating site see how things go.. goodluck :)

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  • thats why i picked this username, because i hate the cards i was dealt with for being a guy in order to get a date/relationship

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  • Did you not go to college or univeristy most people like "you" lose it then. But its pretty sad, and its very easy to not be popular but at the same time its not hard. Try using Tinder if you're that desperate. And hey there's always fat chicks.

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  • If you're white, and live in Europe, Australia, Canada or the US, then that's pathetic.

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  • I am also a super virgin but 20. I have been on dates but never had an actual gf. I sort of kissed a girl but not really because I missed her lips. But i guess i can count it because the intent was there.

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  • look up David Wygant and Johnny Berba

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  • Am I a loser?
    no
    Am I pathetic?
    kind of

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  • It's only pathetic if it's because you can't get laid, if it's by choice it's not.

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  • Yeah, I guess so.

    No point dwelling on the past though, if you want those things think of a way to get them.

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  • nahh your a champion :)

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  • It's better not to know.

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  • you'll be alright man. just dont be so nervous when talking to a girl

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  • where do u live and are u muslim, if u are a muslim its normal

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