Should I meet him?

I met this guy online about 6 years ago when I was 14 and he was 19 about to turn 20 and the relationship has always been sexual. I know it's disturbing and I'm a slut but I had a lot of bad stuff going on and I felt I had no one to confide in so being promiscuous online somehow allowed me to let go of a lot of tension without committing a physical sexual act. Anyway as the years progressed things got less sexual and lately he has been wanting to meet. We have never met in person because we live states apart and I just didn't see the point in meeting a guy who you are friends with benefits online.

We both date other people and whenever I'm in a relationship I never fooled around with him because I felt it was cheating. He is currently in a relationship and I have been single for the past year. I haven't been dating because most guys in college are focused more on sex then having a real relationship and I just don't want to have sex at this point in my life. I've never told him why I am not dating but he just knows that I'm not. He always tell me how pretty I am but I just considered it playful banter, yet the other day we got into a serious conversation about him not having friends who are girls and his basic rules. He also tended to make me sound like an exception.

For example, he said that if we were dating we wouldn't have sex unless I wanted to. To me, his comment was a huge deal because he is one of those good looking guys who loses interest in a girl if she doesn't put out in a couple of weeks. I'm a virgin which is something he has known for at least five years (and the reason why I currently want to stay one) which is just as long as I've known his womanizing ways.

His comments actually meant a lot more to me then I told him. Should I meet him? Can I trust a guy who would drop their girlfriend for someone online? Would a sexually active guy hold out for a girl? Is it too soon to meet someone from another state? esp. with such a big age gap and our history. Advice would be nice.

Updates:
Thanks for the advice. There's a lot to consider.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • well 6 years seems a pretty long time

    i think chatting with someone for 6 years is worth taking a chance

    but make him come to your state

    and take things SLOW

    meet as friends and

    maybe things will go better in person

    or maybe it won't

    as long as you're careful and patient

    it all should be fine

    but like I said, 6 years is worth a chance

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What Guys Said 3

  • ahh I can see it now. Woman Raped by online friend of six years. You need to be smart. I personally wouldn't meet him. Its dumb. He could be a rapist or killer. And when you die you don't get another chance. Its a bad situation all around. Don't do it. But! If you do want to. make him come to you, in a public place with lots of people and some friends. And don't give him your address or tell him where you live. Good luck

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    • Do you think it would ever be a good idea to meet him?

    • Maybe.. But just from my experience. when you meet people on the web. they are never that person. I even change online. Everyone wants to be a better them, and some people aren't great. But if you do want to meet him, I would do it when you feel you are ready to be disappointed, and ready mentally and physically able to resist. Good luck.

  • Yeah, like the others have said, I can't stress enough:

    IF YOU DO MEET, MAKE SURE YOU MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!

    IF YOU DO MEET, MAKE SURE YOU MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!

    IF YOU DO MEET, MAKE SURE YOU MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!

    That really is the moist important thing, though

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  • I would meet him, just make him come to your state, and make sure you meet in a public place... don't take him to your home till you know for sure he is the guy you think he is... cause most weirdos online don't make up there lives for 6 years straight...

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What Girls Said 1

  • Why not go for it? You only live once. Plus just by reading this you know you want to. Don't let the random people who answer this question online decide your future. You're a virgin and he already knows that, so why are you ready? He obviously respects you because it took six years to build a relationship before he even mentioned to meet in real life. Throw out your doubts and worries and just listen to your heart. So what if it turns out bad in the end. At least you can say you took a chance instead of wondering what would have happened. Never miss out on an oppurunity that can better you as a person.

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    • Yeah I would normally agree but I'm just worried about my instincts being wrong.

    • Then maybe you shouldn't do it at all. If you don't feel it is right then give up on it.

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