Girls please help me?

To start off with, I recently turned 19 years old. I've been told my whole life I'm a good looking guy and socially I've had people set high expectations of me. They either think i'm stuck up, confident and talkative, or an asshole. I assure you this is not the case.

The problem is I am a fairly shy guy. I have no problem holding a conversation at all, but I just can't initiate one. This makes it a problem with girls. I've never had a girlfriend and I hate it. I need someone in my life. But this shyness ruins my self confidence.

There's been times where I've talked to girls on the bus or whatever and I've later found out apparently I was really shy or quiet when talking to them, which really pissed me off as I thought I was doing something right. Apparently not. I've been told I'm a cool guy once people get to know me.

Please help


Most Helpful Girl

  • What you need to understand is that most women are shy in general so even if they are the ones who notice you or have an interest in you first, they won't make the first move. Its all a matter of getting out of your comfort zone. Establishing common grounds can be hard at first but its the best way to get rid of shyness. Don't think of it as looking for any stupid excuse to talk to girls, look at it as improvising. Compliments go a long way, but can easily be dismissed. You have to be assertive, show consistent interest, and be sure not to be clingy. The goal is to do things you normally wouldn't do. Challenge yourself, converse with different women at random. Phase 1 is all about getting use to talking to women so don't worry about getting numbers or trying to get laid right off the bat. For the time being have fun learning your strengths and weaknesses so you can turn them into strengths.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Unfortunately there is no overnight remedy for shyness.
    I used to be super shy, I literally said maybe 2 words to my first boyfriend in 8th grade the whole month we were dating.
    What helped me overcome my shyness was my best friend. She was extremely outgoing and I was super shy around strangers. She would bring me out of my shell whenever she was around, and eventually I just stopped being as shy. Every little opportunity you get to be outgoing, just do it. Even just complimenting random people on their hair will help you become less shy.
    I think the root of shyness is self-consciousness and a fear of doing something wrong... but you just have to go for it dude. Don't over-calculate situations too much either.

    Good luck!

  • Women like good listeners, try asking a question about the future. Tell her your future plans, which involves a good women...

  • Put yourself out there some more, but don't come off as this egocentric, stuck up guy. To change people's opinion of you, show them something they would never expect. Who am I to give advice, I've never even been in a relationship and i'm 18.


What Guys Said 1

  • Think less, listen more. Everything with a potential girlfriend should come super naturally. You'll be able to converse with them easier than with most people, or as easily as with your best friend. They'll do the talking when you can't, and they'll say nothing if there's nothing to say.

    Silence is way too underrated these days.