Gender roles, yes or no?

Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about gender roles? Do you like more traditional gender roles or do you think they don't matter? For example, the guy should pay for dates (paying for dates is not the issue I'm getting at just merely and example)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The Patriarchy approves of gender roles. Women stay in the kitchen. Men fight off aliens, robots, werewolves, zombies, spiders, etc.

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    • Lol, I enjoy cooking and cleaning and taking care of my fiancé, and he enjoys taking care of me. He kills all the spiders, zombies, snakes, ect. I cook, clean, and fluff his pillows, it works out pretty well for us! I appreciate the Patriarch's approval :)

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    • Thanks for MHO. :)

    • You're welcome

What Guys Said 17

  • Gender roles are arbitrary nonsense that restrict people from being themselves by making them feel a need to be someone they are not. Similar to the phenomenon in advertising (watch KILLING US SOFTLY 4 for more info) on how girls' self-worth is broken into shreds with false ideals to make them purchase products.

    Except, we are doing this on a global scale by forcing people into being masculine or feminine, suppressing understanding between the two genders and creating nonsensical expectations through stereotypes that hold no value in our current society.

    Gender roles are detrimental. They should be erased. Someone needs to get things done - there are tasks to be accomplished - but linking it to biological sex is arbitrary with no ground. If we get lost in silly ideas from ancient times, we will never reach true equality. We are all human, we should all as such.

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  • I don't really care, i just do whatever i want and try to help out. Yes i would try to be the gentlemen so like, hold the door for her to walk in first, pay for the date, etc. But then again i havnt been in a relationship yet but i'm just guessing this is how i would feel. How about yourself? :)

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  • to me i like to be able to pay for the dates, and be the provider, even is she offers ill say no. i like to treat ma women like a queen.

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    • Why is it that some men make it seem like women are using them if we expect them to pay for a date and others are almost offended if we offer to pay? I think the person who invited the other should pay. I'm old fashioned, I'd never ask a man on a first date. If while we were on a date we like stopped at Walmart and I needed something, wouldn't expect him to pay for that. If that makes sense. I think some girls do take advantage and it kinda givesad the rest of us a bad name. Is it wrong for women to agree with 'traditional gender roles'. I feel like there are going to be shots fired because of my opinion. Lol

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    • haha u just made me watch that clip lmao :)

    • Hahaha! Every time I compliment someone it runs through my head. Good for you Glen Cocoa! Lmao

  • ill take either. couldn't care less. im only thinking about the girl at a certain point.

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  • I prefer more traditional gender roles. I believe men should be men, and women should be women.

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  • Given that most young women earn just as much or more than young men, I'd say some gender roles like that are just outdated... how many young women date and consider, "hmm, does he seem like he'd support me and a family?"

    That, and with how flakey many girls are, taking girls on any sort of pricey date until you know her fairly well is just a waste... I've read some girls gripe that coffee dates are lame/cheap, show no investment. Well, girls aren't a sure bet in the least, so why would a guy buy a girl dinner unless they've been going out for a bit? Unless he's loaded, that is, haha.

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    • I understand, I swear I want to punch these girls in the face for acting like that. When I was younger I didn't only date a guy if I thought he'd be a responsible father and husband. I didn't think about having children or getting married, I wish I would've tho. I do now. Which I am engaged to an amazing guy who is everything a woman would want in a husband and father to her children. I'd never complain that a guy took me on a "cheap" date unless it was just utterly terrible and he made it clear that he was trying not to waste his money on me. In that case I wouldn't complain I just wouldn't see him again because that's rude. I've gone on some of the best dates where we didn't spend a dime. Snobby heifers. Ugh

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    • Damn, I prefer the "don't care if you're jobless or not" approach vs "won't talk to you until you own a house" lmao.

    • Lmao. They don't play. :)

  • I am for gender roles

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  • Traditional gender roles make everyone happier.

    Modern gender roles gives more power to women, but ultimately makes both men and women unhappier.

    No matter what happens, differentiated gender behaviors will always exist, because men and women are fundamentally and irreversibly different.

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    • Exactly. It's like cats and dogs, you can train a cat to do all the same tricks as a dog and it can probably do just as good of a job at those tricks but it's still not a dog.

    • But a cat and dog are two different species. Last I checked, men and women are both humans.

    • Smart ass :-P

  • To an extent, I like them. Kind of annoys me how sponsoring traditional gender roles gets you labelled as a sexist or a weakling :/

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    • Everyone has different ideas on specific gender roles, i don't think it's sexist, gender roles are in our nature and at some point people decided this is an injustice to their sex because it became expected of them instead of people feeling like they were free to choose.

  • Please no gender roles, please. this is the 21 century, I feel people are still living in the 1950s sometimes
    ( no offense ). But gender ones and unfair and sexist.

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  • Like it or not, I fit my gender role decently well, so I can't really deviate from it.

    I wouldn't want her to be a COMPLETE stay at home mom though, I'd like my wife to do volunteer work or pursue her real passion in life part time.

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  • The year is 2014, no I don't believe in gender roles, I think that it's up to each gender whatever they want to do.

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    • The reason I actually asked this question is because there was a girl on here saying that she does all of this stuff for her boyfriend, like buys him stuff, puts gas in his jeep, bought them season passes to some amusement park, etc. But he doesn't show her the appreciation she feels she deserves. He says Thank you but that's it. And out of all of the people who commented not one of them thought that maybe he felt emasculated and insecure about her paying for everything. They all couldn't believe what an ungrateful bastards he was or they told her she was a narcissistic bitch for wanting him to gravel at her feet for buying him some stuff. I just couldn't believe that not even one man said he wouldn't feel comfortable with a woman paying for everything.

  • To hell with traditional gender rules. If we are all truly equal as the feminists want everyone to believe, then women can do everything men can, yadda yadda yadda.

    What are you really asking?

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    • I am not asking because I need advice or anything, I am just genuinely curious as to where people stand on this. I read a book regarding this topic and it made a lot of sense to me. It really changed my outlook on how I view relationshipstory and what I truly wanted and how to get it. I'm so glad I did. So where do you really stand? Gender roles or no, or a little of both perhaps?

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    • Well the book is "Women Have All The Power, Too Bad They Don't Know It" it's written by a man as a guide to his daughters. I was raised by a single mom, she always told me never to depend on a man. So I was extremely driven to be a successful career woman so that I could take care of myself and no matter what happened I would be able to take care of myself without the help of a man. I guess basically so I wouldn't be stuck in a bad relationship because I couldn't afford to live on my own. I met a guy when I was in college and I was with him for 6 years and we have a daughter together. I read this book towards the end of our relationship and realized what I had done wrong and why I chose him. I had all of these aspirations for myself but I didn't want a partner with the same drive (at the time). I know now that I flipped the script on him and that is why we couldn't make it work. I felt like I would be a failure if I was with a man who was successful. That book changed my life. No lie.

    • Buy to answer your question, I am in favor of gender roles. It's not about women cooking with a baby on their hip and the men bringing home the bacon. I'm speaking more of our biological differences. You maybe against what your view of gender roles are but you have to admit that you would want a feminine partner, because you are biologically wired that way. Fighting it only makes life harder and makes one more thing we have to work at.

  • I prefer traditional gender roles to a point buy I don't won't to be made to feel of being used

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  • Boooo traditional general roles

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    • Splitting stuff in half is the only way to go ☺

  • well the gender role i hate is that the guy has to be the initiator, okay being the protector is fine, not issue with that, but being the provider i'm not fond of really.

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    • Why are you not in favor 9th the man being the provider? Do you think both parties should equally contribute towards paying things or you'd rather the woman be the financial provider?

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    • Ya when it comes to casual dating, can it still be casual but at the same time you are exclusive with each other?

    • I don't think you should agree to be exclusive with someone until you think they might be worth it. But this is where most people mess up, everyone is so quick to want to sleep with someone that they will agree to be monogamous in order to do so. I really think it's worth it to wait.

  • Paying for dates I am more against, because some women use men in order to get a free night out on the town. Not only does the guy lose money, he is having his emotions played with. If each gender payed their own way, it would eliminate that problem. I like other gender roles because it is a way to show respect to the man or woman you are with.

    I know I will get a lot of hate for this, but in a relationship I think gender roles work better for most people. Both genders know what is expected of them, and are given the power to do it. In relationships without gender roles, it feels like both people are fighting for power while pushing responsibility off on the other person. Some couples don't need gender roles, but having them would stop a lot of fights, because men and women wouldn't constantly be worrying about their partner pushing more work on them, or the fact they may have a different standard for how to do something.

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    • I appreciate your input, i think a girl who would accept a date with a guy just for a free meal or movie or whatever is a total asshole. I would never do that to someone but I can definitely see your point.

    • I didn't see that question you based this on, but it sounds like she is trying to buy his affection. You can't make someone love you more by buying them stuff. It is more common to hear about guys making this mistake, and falsely accuse a woman of being a gold digger.

      That guy may or may not be contributing his fair share, but buying him gifts isn't going to effect that. Those are gifts, not credits, that she can expect to get paid back for them. If she wants a guy that is going to show her more love and affection, she just needs to find a more romantic guy. It sounds like she just isn't compatible with the guy, and isn't getting her emotional needs met as a result.

    • I agree! I think she's trying to show him how she would like to be treated which is obviously not working. Lol she definitely needs to find a guy who better suits her needs.

What Girls Said 11

  • I don't think gender roles matter for me, personally. Some people prefer playing some gender roles which is fine, and some people don't, which is also fine. The problem I have with gender roles (or, well, more like the people who do this) is when people take it to the extreme and want to force someone to play/not play a certain gender role, without even asking the other person if they're ok with it. For instance, as a girl, forcing your date to pay for the date because he's a man. Or, as a man, forcing your girlfriend to stay at home and cook for you all day while you're at work. Or, as a parent, forcing your child to play with certain toys in order to be more masculine/more feminine/gender neutral. If a little boy wants to play with some toy cars, then for God's sake, let him. Don't take his cars away from him while stuffing a Barbie in his face. That won't automatically make him more happy and accepting. If anything it'll only push him away from "girly" toys, since those are the toys he's forced to play with. Aaand vice versa, the same goes for girls and "boyish" toys.
    Basically, gender roles are cool and all as long as people get to choose whether they want to play these roles or not. Nobody should be forced to doing something they don't want to do, nobody should be forced to be someone they're not. That's my opinion.

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    • I totally agree with you. I was just talking to my friend today about how media influences children's perceptions of gender roles, and toys were one of the main tools used for this. My daughter is 5 and she has ninja turtles and hot wheels, babies and barbie. She wears her tutus while she's out in the yard catching critters. She could care less about what is supposed to be for girls and what is "supposed" to be for boys. I let her do whatever she likes, i was the same way. A good mixture of girly girl and tomboy. People should do whatever works best for them, fo sho. :-D

    • Agreed 100%. :)

  • The only gender role that need be upheld is that women birth the child... all others are null and void.

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  • I like some of them. In my relationship I pay for stuff more, but he cleans and cooks more. He opens doors for me and is masculine in some aspects, I'm feminine in some aspects. I like a mixture of traditional gender roles and modern day gender roles.

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  • I'm a pretty equal person. I love when a guy opens the door for me and pays for the meal, but then I love to do it as well. I completely understand the gender roles thing, that men do employed work while women stay at home because then they're most likely doing the same amount of labor but I prefer equality. Not saying I beg for my salary to be as high/higher than men's. I don't really care about that. I just like equal ground and not having a man think he's higher than myself.

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  • Pansexual.. nuff said lol

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    • Hmm, I guess gender role would not apply here. I did contemplate this earlier, no offense because I am not against LGBT or the pansexual (is that the same thing as bi or no because it includes people who do not identify with a gender so that would be more than two?) Anywho no offense but I guess I am aiming this more toward the 'traditional' couples. And I mean that with no disrespect. I just can't think of how to say it in a more p/c way.

  • i don't really like gender roles. I'm the kind of girl who likes to pay for dinner

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  • No gender roles, at least in my family.

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  • I'm for choice

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  • I don't like gender roles. Never have and never will.

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  • I've never went out with a guy that didn't pay for the first date.

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  • For the most part both my Husband and I lean more toward the traditional way of things, but not completely. I do most of the housework and cooking and I organize and pay the bills, keep my garden. He takes care of yard work, vehicle repairs, home repairs, some cooking and dishes. We're married so obviously paying for dates and things isn't an issue. Our money is both of our money. Whenever we're going somewhere together, he always drives, and I love that :)

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