Great guy, attraction not 100% there?

This guy i met is absolutely great, I've never had someone treat me so well. He's been perusing me for a month while i was seeing someone else. Now that im done with the last jerk I've finally realized how he is a great man and id be stupid to let him go, but im not completely attracted to him. Don't get me wrong he is a good looking guy, but i guess he's not what i usually go for. How do i get over this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am sure you have heard guys complain that women are attracted to jerks. While they do exaggerate it, there is also some truth to it. Jerks show many qualities that women find attractive. Such as being confident enough to challenge the woman. If a guy is too nice he can end up looking like a kiss ass, and the woman will lose respect for him. Women need to be able to respect the guy in order to remain attracted to him. So the stereotype of women being attracted to jerks is based on some facts.

    I think the real question is can you learn to respect, him enough in order to override the fact he is not a jerk that constantly challenges you? I think this is one of the bigger problems women have, that they don't realize. If a woman can't find a nice guy she is attracted to, it is because she is more attracted to jerks than she wants to admit. I would try to find other qualities that he has, and try to have a greater respect for those traits.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You can't fake or force physical attraction.
    Just because you think a person is the most wonderful person in the world doesn't necessarily mean that you will be sexually attracted to that person as well. Emotional attraction is one thing, sexual another. Some people can accept having one without the other or they have a mishmash of both.

    We all have our preferences about what physically attracts us. Pretending they are not there will not make them go away. There is often a fear of being considered shallow for having preferences. But that is like saying you are shallow because you prefer strawberry instead of vanilla ice cream, it's just a preference, not a judgement.

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  • What's wrong with him? More details would be good.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think the other Female Anon gave some pretty solid advice. If your attraction doesn't grow after time spent, it's not right. You deserve to be with a guy you are attracted to in every sense, and he deserves to be with a woman who is attracted to him in every sense. Being an awesome person doesn't mean he's necessarily the right guy for you.

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  • Simple, spend time with him. If you really start to like him you will start to find him attractive. If after hanging out you still don't feel attraction it won't change and as low as looks are on the dating scale at the end of the day you have to be attracted and if the personality and nice guy persona ain't doing it for you nothing will.

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