In good news, we both like each other! In bad news there's a slew of problems. What should we do?

Bit of a dilemma here. I have a close friend, we'll call her Katie. Katie and I met originally 5 years ago as I was dating her then-roommate and best friend Angela. I introduced Katie to my friend Rick, they hit it off, everything was good for about 6 months. Since then we've all still remained friends and actually still see each other pretty much weekly.

In the last year I've realized I've really started liking Katie. We still hang out all the time, and for the last few months she's definitely shown signs of interest. She's always feigning falling asleep on me, touching me, and especially after drinking a little she's showing all the signs. She straight up said this last weekend (albeit drunkenly) she would love to take me back to her place later but doesn't want to anger Angela.

And that's where the problems lie. Angela still evidently likes me and has expressed her jealousy to Katie a couple of times saying she doesn't like it when Katie dances with me (even though they no longer live together and I've not done anything with Angela in years). My now-roommate Rick admitted to me TODAY he still has a bit of a thing for Katie but followed it up by saying he's working to try to get over it, it's been a long time there just hasn't been anyone else yet. He's got a girl lined up but still...

How can we handle this to not anger our close friends/roommates?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are no longer with Angela, Rick is no longer with Katie... you're both single and no one is "stealing" anyone from anyone else.
    It's probably a bit rough and awkward, but no one is really "wronging" each other here.
    You and Katie should really give it a go... try to spend time together one on one, without your friends around. This way, you two can see if sparks really fly when there's no one else around, and it'll be a nice time to get a lot closer without them having to see it and feel hurt by it.
    Over time, they'll get more used to the idea and you guys can hang out altogether again, with you two acting as a couple. But because of feelings everywhere right now, you two should get away from them to get to know each other... it'll just be easier and smoother for everyone involved.

    Good luck!
    Come back and let us know how things are going!

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    • I finally got an evening with just Katie Saturday actually. At first discussions sounded all negative, she said there was another guy 'in the picture', she doesn't want to ruin our friendship let alone other relationships... but she kept holding my hand and we danced together. I walked her back to her place, we kissed, things almost went to her bedroom but I sat her down on the couch instead and we talked. She admitted she'd thought of me 'that way' for years but with Angela and everything else factored in she didn't know if the feelings were strong enough to overcome the risk.

      So I went home instead. She continued to message me saying she definitely would have been ok with something happening but it probably would've been a bad idea in the long run and we likely made the best decision, she's never liked anyone long term so it might've just messed up our friendship.

      She messaged me this afternoon saying Angela definitely still likes me and last night 'should not happen again'...

    • Aww, I'm so sorry to hear that!

What Girls Said 1

  • If neither of you haven't been dating the other for a while and have put all of that aside then they shouldn't be mad. You're all friends and interests change, especially if you are no longer in relationships, if they are unwilling to accept it then I don't think there is anything you two can do to not anger the others as they can't just stop their jealousy. The girl seems tough but it sounds like the guy can understand. Try talking to each other about it in a nice large friend group discussion.

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