How can it go hot to cold so fast? Guys insight on the situation appreciated?

I just don't understand how things could go from feeling so hot to cold so fast... Maybe I'm a unrealistic romantic but I just don't get it.

It went from him constantly teasing and flirting.. Trying to gauge my interest (asked me to write a love letter and when I was too vague he said I should write him a new one. I told him to write me one but he said he couldn't until i wrote him one cuz it might creep me out...) and figuring out if i had a bf. Complimenting me, asking me to hang out on break. He even joked that I need a bf-him as well as joking we were a married couple. He seemed so set on me. But then I went on a big trip for a few weeks. The night before I left I thought he might make a move but he didn't. But he seemed upset I was leaving and asked if he could come with. I said sure and then he joked with out boss that he needed time off cuz he was coming with me. So as you can imagine I came home with high hopes expecting us to pick up where we left off. But when I got home he's been so distant.

Slowly he seems to be getting closer to where we were (starting to tease me more) but he's still so distant. My first few days back he barely said a word to me and when he did was actually a little mean though it may of been fake mean cuz I can't always tell with him (though I admit i didn't either cuz i felt so awkward, though I am pretty friendly with my other guy coworkers but only cuz I don't have feelings for them thus don't feel awkward) But then I heard him talking to another guy about this one girl...(though she has a bf) which made me wonder if while I was gone he moved on? I just don't get how things could be that heated but then so dead after being apart 2 weeks? (I'm 19 and he's 21.)


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What Guys Said 2

  • Alright, if that was me in that situation, I would have strayed away because:
    A. I'm interested in someone else
    B. I'm not interested in you anymore
    C. I was bored and just wanted to mess around
    D. I don't want to jeopardize my job, IF it's frowned upon in the workplace.

    You'd be surprised to how something so hot can turn so cold in just of matter of weeks, even days. I met this girl and we were hot for like 3 months, and all of a sudden she turned cold because, well, she found someone else -_-

    But the point is, feel him out for a week and see what the problem is. If he's still distant, I'm sure he already moved on. Best of luck in your endeavors.

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    • Gotcha... and I've been trying to feel it out but I can't really tell... Like he's not as distant as the first day back... he's been slowly getting a little better. He did ask if I missed him and told me to tell him the truth. I said yes. He kinda blushed and went on to say he missed me too, looking down when he said it. He also brought up the love letter thing telling me I promised him another one (i don't remember saying that) but I said I would when I had time. He made a big deal out of it and said I was lying and that I had to say I was lying. He wouldn't stop saying it I did jokingly be i wonder if he thought it was for real since I said it in exasperation and he never mentioned it after that.

    • Then the next time I saw him he was actually a little mean, criticizing/teasing me a lot which stressed me out and I think he noticed cuz i didn't smile or say much. Then today he seemed to be careful to make sure I knew he was kidding and not blaming me for anything (he'd either say it verbally or look over at me with a playful smile) But still it's nothing like it was before I left. I do know he's super stressed out with school and work right now but idk..

    • There's obvious reasons that he DOES like you, especially the blushing and looking down part. That's a pretty much dead giveaway. I'm not sure what he's doing to be honest. The only thing I can advice is to give it time. If he really is stressed from work and school, he will come around eventually. But if not, then it's best to leave. Once again, best of luck.

  • run. he is doing that because he is unstable. he wanted to go with you because he wanted control over you. then he was mean because you did not do what he wanted (beg him to go with you, call him every hour, or some other form of control.) RUN and save yourself a lot of time and rocky relationship.

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