Why can I not find any guy to date?

I am 21 an have not had a date in nearly a year. I have hungout with guy friends but when I wanted more the guy I liked said he does not have time for a gf. So now we do not talk at all.

Other guys I've met just want sex or one night thing but thats not the kind of girl I am. I would like a bf but I feel like its too much to ask off any guy as they do not seem to want to commit at such a young age.

I do get lonely but sometimes like the peace and quiet. I wish I had real love I guess but its not easy to find I see so many couples and people I grew up with at school who have long term partners and many have kids. I keep thinking it won't happen for me.

I tried online dating an even there guys do say they just want sex but say I am gorgeous and they say I will find someone.

I am a shy girl and some people say I look like I got an attitide. I have my guard up due to bad relationships. Some guys see me and stare theb look away fast I feel like guys are intimidated or afraid of what I will do if they approach. Ones that do are usually the losers from what I've experienced. Maybe I am not that friendly or outgoing but once the ice is broken I can relax and have a laugh with people.

I am ready to meet or date someone new and see what happens. I realise I've been clingy and done too much initiating with guys in the past but I have changed and realise its better to be laidback an to let them initiate too otherwise I won't know if they even like me.

I dont do clubbing anymore and didn't meet good. guys there anyway but now I am not that outgoing an not meeting new people. Could that be why I am single I am at home a lot or with family. Sometimes out with friends when I can afford it.

I really wish I could meet someone but I feel like I should give up I have been very unlucky in love so far.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, do not give up on love. That is the worse thing you can do. It ill turn you into a bitter person. You remind me of myself. I always kept my guard up because on of my exes cheated on me with one of my close friends. I got into fights for this guy when people were messing with him and he turned on me. I shut the door to my heart for a long time. It wasn't until my senior year in high school that I let another girl in and we dated for 8 months. Our breakup was mutual and we ended on a good note.

    The whole point of that story is that you cannot give up on love and that you have to let your guard down to let other people in. Imagine your heart is a city and your guard are wall around that city that are shut all the time. Sure you keep the bad out but you also do not let the good in. And so your city crumples because there are no more good people coming in with wares to sell to increase the commerce of your city and increase it's value.

    You have to open your gates by dropping your guard a little. Don't drop it entirely as you still need to weed out the bad but you must open it enough to let in the good and increase your happiness.

    This is all from my limited scope on the world. Take care of yourself, drop your guard a bit and keep searching. You will find someone for you eventually.

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    • Wow thay made me teary. Thank. u alot. its true I have to try but also keep my wits aboit me and be aware of bad guys too. I have been cheated on too

    • Glad that I could help.

What Guys Said 3

  • Your profile says you're 18-24. You said you're lonely because you haven't been in a date in nearly a year? Imagine not doing it the rest of your life. You'll have LONG life ahead of loneliness if you give up.

    Just live your life without TRYING To make anything happen. When you lease it expect it, that's when it does.

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  • How about you marry me? :D

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  • How bout chu be my girlfriend ey? ;)

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What Girls Said 2

  • i relate very much to this and I can say, the real love of your life it's not out there, it's inside you. When you come in terms with that, you won't worry about being lonely in the future, because not having a partner won't be as scary anymore. If you feel happy only with yourself right now, you'll be able to do it forever. I'm not saying you'll never marry or find a relationship, I'm just saying that real happy people do not see single life as a death sentence, because it's really not.

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  • i feel the exact same way and am in the same boat. i hope we can like get what we deserve

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