Would Girls Reconsider Dating a Guy Who's Lost Weight?

I'm a college student at a small college, and when I started school I was about 80 pounds overweight. I didn't have much self-confidence at the time, and needless to say, girls weren't into me. There were two girls in particular who I've always had a crush on, but neither has shown any interest in me. I actually mustered the balls to ask one of them out when I was still fat, but she turned me down. What's worse, she told a few other girls in our dorm that I had asked her out and they kinda gave me funny looks for several weeks after that.

I got tired of being "the fat guy" who never had a girlfriend and I decided to get in shape. I've lost a bunch of weight over the past year to the point that I'm at my goal weight. I notice now that girls are checking me out, but I still can't tell if they're into me or just surprised at my new appearance.

I'm still crushing on the same girl, and my question is this: is it likely that she would reconsider going out with me now that I'm in much better shape? I've had several friends tell me to ask out other girls on campus, but I'm afraid that most of the girls at my school will still see me as the fat guy I used to be. Do girls change their opinions of guys who lose weight, or do they always sort of categorize us as losers?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. A guy who's lost weight or overcame something else is a cool thing.
    2. You should be more confident now.
    3. Aske the girl out but keep in mind that it is likely she's not the best one because a normal girl will never make fun of a guy who asked her out, no matter what number his scales are showing. Never. Trust me.

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    • It seems like most girls kinda get mad when they get asked out by a guy they think isn't good enough for them. It's almost like it offends them that the guy even thought he could get her. I think that's what this girl did, but I'm not sure.

    • Still, making fun in this case means lack of tact. Not cool. But may be she underestimated you so give her a second chance.

    • I agree that it's not tactful, but girls are usually pretty cruel to guys who they turn down. Guys can't stop asking girls out or else we'll never have a girlfriend, so it's just something we have to deal with.

What Girls Said 4

  • Of course they change their opinions. If I have to be 100% honest, if the girls are skinny, they would never date a fat guy. So the fact, that you've lost a lot of weight and is at your goal weight (which sounds like a normal, great weight?), of course they've changed their opinions about you. They don't have opinions about your personality, but your appearance, which has now changed.
    If you really want to, then go ask the girl again.
    I think she'll at least consider it, because you've lost weight. If she says yes, it's of course wonderfull, but still she just begins to sound self-satisfied, because weight was all she cared about, if you get me. Idk, but yes, go ask that damn girl, and yes, they've changed their opinions.

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    • Yes, I'm 6' and I weighed in this morning at 190. My concern is that I feel almost like I'm starting with a strike against me because girls at my college have already formed an opinion of me as undesirable. I've had girls tell me what you wrote, that no self-respecting girl would date a fat guy. If that's true, then I feel like some of them would see me as that same guy who was fat and unconfident. In my experience, people's opinions of you rarely change once they've formed them.

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    • I think that some of these girls are more likely to change their opinions of me if they see me with a girl. My friend told me that after he got his first gf sophomore year, all these other girls started crushing on him after seeing them together.

    • I makes sense.
      A lot of people actually do this - if someone is crushing on somebody, other people are more likely to crush on this person also, because they're jealous or because people are so competitive without even knowing it.

      But I think that the best you can do, is trying to be open and smile and talk to new girls, maybe attend a party and then just talk and be nice and open!
      (I have no idea where you live, but in Denmark, at the age of 16, you can attend a party, and that's were I meet guys fx)

  • Some girls do change the opinion of the guy, but why would you want someone who didn't want you before? Then it would only be about looks & they wouldn't want you for you

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    • Because I've never gotten over this girl. Friends have told me to move on, but I just think she's a special person beyond just looks and surface aspects. I kind of agree with you about her not wanting me before, but honestly, I don't blame her for turning me down, though I don't like that she told other girls about it.

    • I understand that you have a major crush on her.. but from experience of knowing girls, she doesn't sound great.. she probably laughed about it with her friends when u did, and then she would be very shallow for just going after your looks. If it means that much to you, go for her. But you may be hurt when you find out she doesn't actually care for YOU.. :(

    • I know, I don't want to be with her if she doesn't really like the real me. There really aren't that many girls at my college who I even like at all, so it's possible that I'm stuck on her because I'm seeing the same group of girls constantly.

  • First of all, congratulations for your weight loss. It is a great thing to lose 80 pounds. And now to answer your question, YES I would. And I would be very, very pround of him.

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  • sure... that's a sign of a healthy mind, to overcome something like a bad habit.
    its an attractive quality

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    • I'm worried that the girls in my social group have already formed an opinion of me that won't change regardless what I do. I almost think that I will have to go to a completely new setting for girls to see me as a regular guy rather than as the fat guy I've been in the past.

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    • Thanks so much for all your comments. I don't want to put on a persona that isn't true to myself just to be popular with girls, but at the same time, I'm tired of being the outcast and watching everyone around me dating and having relationships. So... I don't know where that leaves me. I see guys around me talking about learning "game" and it doesn't sound like something I want to do.

    • your welcome... and your on the perfect road already, you really shouldn't judge anything to early :)
      out of 100 guys there is probably only the top 5 that are really amazing to women.. and the other 95 are just shades of settling.

      its like learning piano, some might just go ahead and start playing pieces of music they love, it might even be quite impressive.
      but those who really want to play well, will practice some boring technique first, and they will play on an entirely different level, they will shake and stir your soul.

      the others will have a virtually imposable task or unlearning bad habits, its really 10 times harder.. and no one ever really gets their technique, pitch, timing, or touch to the point that they could even attempt a great piece of music.

      its the same with men, those who learn bad habits, to lie, to show of, to act... they are never more than a shell compared to one who is practiced and real, and knows himself properly.. its very attractive! :):)

What Guys Said 2

  • You deserve better than this girl. If she says yes now it only confirms she only likes you for appearance.

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    • The thing is, I almost don't blame her for not liking my appearance before because I didn't like it myself. I get what you're saying though, because it does make her seem shallow if she says yes. I'm getting the feeling that I should just leave it alone because it's bad either way.

  • Do not date this girl you deserve better. I'm in your sae situation girls finally give me attention but I find it hard to see if its genuine.

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    • Yeah, I feel like a lot more girls are looking my way now, but I feel in way like I'm being unfairly judged. It almost feels like some girls are sitting in judgment of me, like I was nothing to them before and now I might be worthy of them. That's why I feel like I need a fresh start so I can meet girls who didn't know me before I lost weight. I think it's a bad thing that these girls originally met me and formed an opinion of me as a fat guy.

    • I refuse to date women I knew as a fat guy.

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