Why are all men cold heartless bastards? And players?

[Anonymous]

This guy who I thought liked me, because he said he did, and said such nice things to me, and kissed me, didn't want a relationship. Why did he mess with me like that?

[Pallid]

For starters, not all men are "cold heartless bastards and players." That's an extremely uneducated generalization. I apologize if I might sound rude to you, but I'm simply correcting you. Just because the guys you've met or ever liked turn out to be "cold heartless bastards", it doesn't mean that ALL of them are. There are so many guys I know who I would pick over a girl any day just because things are more funny, light-hearted and drama-less.

Now that we have cleared up that, let's answer your question. See, guys know that girls love pretty words. And it's true. Girls fantasize about the prince charming who has all the right words to say, the perfect movie or book character that is wonderful with his speech. And that's why it's so easy to fool a girl because once we like someone, we genuinely believe that they mean every word. But hey, there are guys who have been through the same. Sure, it's not the vast majority but it isn't non-existent. That guy messed with you like that simply because he is a vile, selfish creature.

Darling, do not let this situation change your perspective of men. Are there a lot of assholes out there? Hell yeah! But there are good guys too and you ought to find him someday. Don't waste a minute of your precious time thinking about this guy who treated you in the way you don't deserve to be treated. Keep your head up high and your heart hopeful! x

[AnayaWilliams]

Not all men are like that, they are actually some good nice men out there you just have to go out there and find them. I have an ex who is a player, he just said sweet things to me, wanted a relationship but didn't want to commit, he pretty much led me on and then left. Sounds like to me he was a player. You have to be careful with dating those kinds of guys, they can say the sweetest things and make up excuses of being busy all the time. Although it could not be that they are busy it could be that they are seeing someone else or are afraid of commitment. Maybe he didn't like you that much or lost interest in you. Not all men are players they are some actually good ones out there you just have to get up and go out and meet them and interact with them.

[itsme_goodsamaritan]

Not all men are. You need to be very careful before letting any man into ur life. Its tough to know in advance, but you should stop being too sweet with strangers, or even acquaintances. If you refuse to do what they say, they might make u feel bad, but at least you know you are being safe.

[CommieDearest]

They're not. Stop generalizing. The situation you described isn't even that bad. Real heartless bastards will lie about wanting a relationship to get in your pants.

All you did was kiss ffs. It's possible he likes you and doesn't want a relationship, just like he said.

[Asker]

Well, he doesn't like me anymore. I don't think he ever did.

[CommieDearest]

Okay? Shit happens. You were never together so you can't really be mad at the dude.

[Anonymous]

Being a nice guy, kissing you, and saying nice things doesn’t tie things together hun. He didn’t do anything cold hearted and instead actually saved you from a suffering relationship from him not being fully committed. I understand exactly his point, I've been in his shoes. It definitely wasn’t an easy thing to break with the girl I was with even after we did a lot more than just kiss. I still miss her and have strong feelings for her, I just wasn’t ready for the commitment so early in life. Sometimes you realize things aren’t set up right and need to put an end to them. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or find your personality attractive. Just sometimes men aren’t in a general state in life for relationships and the same goes for girls.

He was not playing you. He simply had enough feelings to give you that kiss. Everyone in a while everybody needs to know they are desirable in some way. This was his way of telling you he found you worthy enough to kiss you. Also, don’t generalize all men just because one broke your heart. Just because 1 out of aprox 3 billion men that means all men are bastards and break hearts? Be careful what you say.

[Anonymous]

You've been a busy girl if you know ALL men. Liking someone and WANTING a relationship are two different things. Assuming makes an Ass out of you.

[AutumnBloom]

I like this^ :)

[Asker]

... I guess I'm an ass then. It suits me. HA!

[Opinion Owner]

If you're having a repetitive experience with guys you have to face the possibility that it isn't just the guy. You're the one picking them, why are you going out with guys that tend to treat you the same way or things end with you calling all males fatherless children. Self evaluation is needed here.

[Asker]

You're right. I give up on men. I obviously am the problem.

[Opinion Owner]

You're only the problem if you want to be. You can also be the solution but you seem more a pessimist than a optimist. A general rule in life man or woman is that words are cheap a guy or girl can say they'll give you the world for your heart. I c no world U c no heart, simple.

[rUinSAYAN]

do you think a guy who treats you bad will ever get in your pants? - no, he just did what he needed to make you think about the bootycall before you reject him.
If a guy comes up to you: "hey bitsch wanna take a ride" then he is a real faggit. he just said what he wanted before it could get serious and 2-3 months is no big time, you are 30-35 age and still don't understand anything about the dating world? some want a relationship others want a fling, but you can't get laid if you behave like a douche ass and that's why there are:
-losers (creepy, can't talk to girls properly, want sex)
-normal guy who doesn't want to commit (this one you mentioned)
-relationship guy (he will not rush into a relationship but want one)
-player (tells you sweet shit, tells he wants a Relationship and leaves u after sex)

grow up girl

[stevie123]

"all men" thou shalt not generalize.
"nor players"
Not all guys who like a girl, want an immediate relationship.
He may also want to date someone else, until he finds one he wants to pursue.
You should be old enough to realize that things are not perfect, and dating rituals are not written in stone.
You should keep seeing him, and see if you can entice him to keep you as a steady.

[Asker]

No. He doesn't want me. It's been made very clear.

[stevie123]

Then he's a dick.
I'm not like him, and most guys aren't either.
Sorry you were played,
Life sucks.
Give the next guy a chance.

[Asker]

... Only if the next guy proves me wrong. I can't afford to hurt again.

[stevie123]

You WILL live through it.
Give love a chance.
It is better to love and lost, than never have loved at all, the saying goes.

[Asker]

I sure feel dead right now. Life can't get worse than this.

[stevie123]

how long were you with him?

[Asker]

We weren't together. He just led me on for about...2-3 months.

[stevie123]

A couple of months isn't a death sentence.
And you weren't even "together"
Take a deep breath, and say fu*k it, and soldier on.

[AutumnBloom]

I've learned that us as women we tend to hear what we want to hear and not the truth of it. He probably showed signs he really didn't want a relationship and it's sounds like you really wanted this to work and you liked him alot. Not all guys are assholes hun sometimes something good comes along when we're not looking. :)

[kheserthorpe]

Most men are not players. Only a minority are.

Your other mistake though is that assuming liking you, being nice, and kissing you imply someone wants a relationship. It does not necessarily imply that. He was probably not 'messing' with you. He could be sitting going 'the girl I thought was into me, seemed to like me, enjoyed me, kissed me, didn't want to be FWB. Why did she mess with me like that?'

You wanted different things.

[Panzer103]

I do t know why the majority of the guys who answered seem to think he did nothing wrong. Saying nice things is one thing, but kissing and all that is serious stuff. To kiss someone and act caring just to pull back and not want a relationship is cruel manipulative behavior. That guy was a prick. I hope the next guy you meet is of a better material.

[ArchDruidMordred]

i think this has already been stated but I'll say it again cause yolo. Ur lucky ur a girl. If you were a guy and you posted something like this about women than you would be torn apart by both man and women. Feel fortunate minor criticism is all you're getting.

[jointhepatriarchy]

Hm... Time for a meme.

www.quickmeme.com/.../...afdaa043561ea181358fd.jpg

[JangusRoundstone]

one man doesn't account for the entire population of men.

[AleDeEurope]

He said he liked you, but never said he wanted a relationship, so technically he did nothing wrong, you were the one who assumed he wanted a relationship, you should have asked him before going any further.

[Dbt25677]

I heard a woman say 'salad' once.
WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE HATE ALL OMNIVORES?

Just because he said stuff doesn't = shit.

[Misskeeto]

Because they're horny bastards. Same thing happened to me 2 years ago. Just gotta find that right boy who wants a relationship :)

[Asker]

I can't do this anymore. Its one shit fest after another with guys. Too many damn frogs.

[Crazyced]

I came here expecting a cheaters story. Turns out the man didn't do anything wrong, heck he didn't even have sex. All he did was not wanting a committed relationship with you.

How long did it take you to ask 'Hey, where are we going with this?'

[StickStickity13]

If a man wrote this every girl will call you a bitter person. Such double standards.

[Sumtingwongwitme]

This.^ A lot of women have the notion that they can say/do no wrong. And I've seen and noticed more bitter women then men.

[jointhepatriarchy]

Amen, preach it brothers.

[Metlahead]

Lol, but the guys are reacting the same way to her...

[apshm]

You must have done something that caused him to lose interest in you. Men are fickle, but they're not cold heartless bastards.

[Asker]

*sigh*... I don't see how men can have feelings and be considerate. All they ever did to me was behave like boys.

[Cómoestás]

Why do women and men generalize their genders when things do not go their way? I believe it's called fucking LIFE. Get used to it

[Asker]

You're right. I'm not going to ever be used to life.

[AutumnBloom]

Again another great answer.^ :)

[Cómoestás]

One man rejecting you doesn't mean all population of men do this

[MaskedSanity]

Aren't you a little too old to be throwing a whiny teen tantrum?

[Metlahead]

Evolution, Religion, and sexism are certainly the bulk of your answer.

[rjroy3]

He didn't mess with you. He was honest and you got attached too quickly

[rjroy3]

Until you have a conversation saying that you are together, you are not together. So no matter how much you kiss, have sex, go out on dates, whatever it may be. You are not in a exclusive relationship

[Asker]

... It wasn't like that. It took several months, even a year before he said he wasn't ready.

[rjroy3]

If you never defined the relationship, he had every right to do what he did. He had the right to date other people while you two were dating. You had that same right.

[CuriousEddie]

Gee, I don't know. Same reason that all women make stupid generalizations?

[NovemberJoseph]

If he kissed you but doesn't want a relationship, then he just wanted to smash.

If you couldn't tell that right away, then you're blind