Why do some men think faking a friendship will get a woman to suddenly want a relationship?

I had this happened about 6 months ago and he made it so obvious. Do they not see we can already figure that out so quickly?

It happened with my former supervisor. Basically, the conversation was into just wanting to hang out and be only "friends" (yeah right) and that I'm a sweet woman and how my parents must be so proud of me. I was honest about not looking for a bf yet. Then within the next days it starts getting deeper into what traits I look for in a bf.

At some point, I noticed the difference and when I was then told again that I don't want a relationship and only friends suddenly he doesn't text me back and ghosted out.

Do these guys really think that being fake friends and let me guess, then inviting me and going all smooth on me is going to make me want him suddenly and fall for him?

Updates:
At least with my then bf, there was none of this "pretending to be my friend" and it was straight forward dating.

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Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 7

  • Because that's what they are thought for the most part. "Be nice to her and don't rush her, be her friend first. If it's meant to be it will develop."

    But it's hogwash as you said. Men should be told that women respect and respond positively to men that are straightforward about what they want.

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    • True... plus there has to be attraction and chemistry on both parts. That guy knew I didn't want a relationship but yet he still try leading me on that he wasn't looking for one either and be all fake friendly. But gets all upset the 2nd time I repeated and said in a more stern way that I'm not looking for a relationship.

  • It's partially the girls' fault too. They're the ones telling guy to be friends first. You can't blame someone for following the advice you give them.

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  • Guys are never "just friends" with girls. If they say so, they're lying.

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    • Exactly and yet these guys get all upset when we are able to see this through (suddenly kind compliments and all fake friendly, lol) and call it out right away. If I guess correctly, I'm willing to be these guys will then start creating posts online about how we're so unfair and start their rantings.

  • Because it works with players all the time. He will be a little better with the next girl.

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  • i'm trying to overcome this

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    • It's not so complicated as some guys make it out to be. If you want a date or relationship, seek that. Pretending to be all friendly from the start (when we already know no guy is just all sweet for nothing) and saying you're not looking for a relationship but suddenly going further obviously is going to make the us notice that right away.

    • Ya its just I guess we guys are Brainwashed and told that stating our intentions early comes across as needy or desperate

  • He's clearly afraid of rejection case closed.

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  • That exactly what women claim they want guys to do. Women keep claiming they want to be friends first. Then they blame guys for "pretending". Guys aren't pretending. Guys are just following the courting methods they were taught.

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    • Being all very friendly to the point it's so fake when he clearly doesn't want a platonic friendship is, then getting all upset when he realizes I don't own him a relationship (nor sex) is pretending to me.

    • If he is being so friendly that you realize he wants a relationship, then it sounds like he was very honest by making his intentions clear.

What Girls Said 2

  • Because sex and because interest.

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    • And they don't get that just because they're friendly doesn't him I own him sex.

  • Because romcoms make it look like it works.

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