Woman's attraction towards a man is inversely proportional to how well he treats her. Agree or not?

So if a man respects a woman and treats her in a gentlemanly way, he gets friendzoned/rejected/dumped/cheated on. If he treats her like crap, doesn't give her an ounce of respect and perhaps fools around with other women, then the woman throws herself all over him because he's supposed to be an 'alpha male'. Agree or not?

Please be brutally honest when you vote or answer. Make yourself anonymous if you must. Both men and women are most wlecome to vote and provide their views.

Updates:
Sorry, forgot to include a poll. Just answer, anyway

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're too freaking old to think this way... if you are friends with a girl and she rejects you, she just doesn't like You! Why assume that it's because you didn't treat her like shit? Honestly, why not just admit that you are not desirable to everybody? It takes a real conceited motherfucker to think that they got rejected because they're too nice.
    Never in my experience has a girl liked a guy more because he treats her like shit. However, if he's giving her attention and then suddenly stops and starts messing around with other girls, she might think oh shit I'm losing him and she'll try to get his attention again.

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    • This isn't about me. I have a big fat ego and I never want to give women the satisfaction of rejecting me. i have some self-respect and self-worth, and I'm NOT ready to get them damaged at ANY cost.

      I have been in a couple of relationships, but the girls themselves asked me out. I have been single since over 4 years now. I'd rather be alone all my life, than risk a rejection by a woman and get insulted and humiliated in the process. I have never confessed my feelings to a woman, and I never will. I just kill the feelings if I get them.

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    • No, not at all. I neither live in an Islamic country, nor am I a Muslim. Thanks a lot, I'll be sending you a text within a couple of minutes. :)

    • thanks for mh!

Most Helpful Guy

  • The QA's question applies directly into the female "jerk fever" phenomenon! It's not politically correct to mention it, but let's be real here! Every douche bag, bad boy, jerk, jack-ass, player and thug seems to be doing very well with women! It is a FACT that uncaring lowlife men who treat women like crap are clearly PREFERRED by many women!

    It is also a FACT that many genuine GOOD men who always treat women with utmost kindness and respect are typically shunned by women! This is what the QA has observed! He isn't seeing imaginary things! THIS IS REAL!

    The video linked below is called Douche Bag Math 101 by Susan Walsh from Hooking Up Smart dot com website. She makes a graphical analysis of women's choices in a typical college campus environment. According to her, some 80% of the women are having having sex! And they are ONLY doing it with the 20% of the men whom she classes as "Douche Bags"! According to Ms. Walsh, the oher 80% of the men get NOTHING AT ALL!

    Most women are in denial and keep trying to pretend this isn't happening! The QA is right! Men are basically required to act like an ass and treat women like crap or be TOTALLY SHUNNED! Women's choices in men are a huge societal problem! Check out the video!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESYK8fCEHUQ

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What Girls Said 12

  • My boyfriend treats me like a goddamn princess. Why would I want to leave him?

    Lol this whole women only want assholes thing is a stereotype that emerged from women's behavior. Many young girls are inexperienced and have no idea what a relationship entails other than what they read in Twilight & 50 shades of grey books and they think that's the norm.
    They're easily persuaded, very impressionable and sometimes just plain stupid and a lot of that has to do with hormones. With age they tend to understand more as to how love actually works.

    As for me, I'm too full of myself to let anyone walk all over me. I told my 1st boyfriend to go fuck himself, because literally 2 days into the relationship he started telling me what I should do and how I ought to behave and dress. Bitch didn't realize he would be thrown out in a heartbeat for being a controlling asshole and kept calling and texting for 2 weeks.

    About 2 years later I found out he got done for murder and was serving time. Good fucking riddance.

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  • Okay, first thing's first- just because a guy is nice to a girl does not mean that she will automatically be attracted to him, or that she should. Being nice is the bare minimum, really. And if a girl is not attracted to a guy who is nice to her, that's that, she can't change how she feels.
    Secondly, I'm guessing that a lot of the girls who throw themselves all over assholes probably feel really rejected or like there's something missing in their lives that maybe having this guy, no matter how poorly he treats her, can fix. Maybe she was treated terribly in the past and thinks that what she experienced is how people show they love someone. Either that, or there's just something about them that really attracts them.
    Personally, I would never want to date an asshole, though unfortunately, it's a very difficult thing to say "I would never date someone who treats me horribly" because there is such a thing as abuse out there. It's like the boiling a frog analogy; if you put it in hot water, it'll jump out, but if it's cooler, it'll stay in, and die as you turn the temperature up. A guy may ACT nice, but abuse his girlfriend later. Then, as soon as she tells him she wants to leave, he may threaten to kill himself (which is actually emotional abuse and is absolutely wrong) or say "I can change" or even act in a way that they know will make the girl feel guilty for even thinking of leaving. Hell, maybe the girl will be hesitant because of how he acted before, thinking that he is still that guy deep down.
    All in all, it's complicated, and depends on the girl and guy in the situation. There's no sure way of answering your question, to be honest.

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    • Regarding your first thing. I agree that being 'nice' is not the only thing needed, but for some weird reason women automatically 'assume' that if a guy is being nice to them, he's gotta be a 'boring, unattractive guy who isn't worth dating' even if he isn't like that.

      Regarding your second reason, women more often than not misinterpret a complete asshole as an 'alpha male' who has a lot of 'confidence'. So they often don't complain or even break up if the guy treats them like crap.

  • NO. a big fat NO.. he treats me good.. he gets everything. he treats me bad.. even for once.. i dump his stupid arse there and then..

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  • I think the men who treat u badly and like they don't care just become a challenge. It's like "wow can't believe he did that to me, I must make him care" if I succeed I have proved how hot, amazing etc I am.

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  • Not necessarily. There's a guy I know who's really nice, respectful etc and I've liked him for over a year now! That's part of what attracted me to him. He's the nicest and most respectful guy I've liked so far (and the longest crush too). :) xx

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    • Why are the women like you who actually don't think of 'good' men as the most horrible scum of the planet, only existing on GAG and not in the real world? It baffles me.

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    • I agree with you. But I have often heard women say that they reject guys who are not their 'type'. I fail to understand what this 'type' means. Besides, women usually make it clear that if they reject or friendzone a guy, its permanent and he has no chance with her ever. If she simply isn't looking for someone 'at that point', she'd just say that she needs time or something like that, rather thjan rejecting or friendzoning him outright.

    • I think not their type means that women have qualities they look for in a man, and a man who isn't their type doesn't have most/some/any of the qualities. Eg a woman's type could be: sweet, smart, tall, brown hair, likes animals. A man who likes her may be sweet with brown hair bit he's not tall, doesn't like animals and isn't smart. So he's not the woman's type because of the things he lacks. But he could be a good match for another woman with a different type

  • I'd never be with someone who treated me like shit. I'd make their life hell, before leaving them- just because they thought they could get away with mistreatment.
    No way.
    If you love yourself and have self worth, you don't stand for crap.

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    • Your answer is logical, but women in general are doing EXACTLY what you say you wouldn't do.

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    • Its not about staying. Even for the woman to get that initial 'spark' and say yes, the man has to project himself as an asshole. Later they may leave him if he treats her too bad, but for the initial attraction at least, treating a woman badly and being jerk has unfortunately become the 'norm'.

    • I see what you are saying.

      I'm probably more intrigued when a guy isn't all over me. I wouldn't like if he came off as cold or rude, however.

  • No, not at all. Where did you get this idea from? Its obviously directly related to how well the guy treats me :))

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    • I didn't get this idea from anywhere, actually., This is what has been happening.

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    • Those women do not have any self respect and they are afraid of being seen alone.,

    • Yes you're right. Unfortunately, most women are like that. The very few sensible women who don't go for jerks, are already taken, married, asexual or lesbians.

      So probably, the only way a man can get to date a woman is by being a complete asshole and treating her like crap. :(

  • Uhhhh incorrect. If he treats me well. I will really fall for him. If he treats me bad I will not like him no matter how attractive he is

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  • That depends on the girl. I like nice guys.

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  • Yes is possible.

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  • disagree. the reason i ended it with the last guy I was seeing is because he used to treat me with such respect and care so much (why we got together) but then it all stopped and he started being disrespectful. i was done from that point

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  • Maybe I am attracted to a guy who treats me badly, but if that happens I forget about him immediately. But I think that "alpha males" treat girls better, in my perspective, because they don't have a reason to feel threatened from a girl because she is compeating with him in any way.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Nah, I'ts always been my belief that that's a bunch of crap dude's tell themselves to make them feel better rather than accepting that they might be the problem.

    The only reason I think women "wise up" at a certain age is because they are tired of dating.

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    • The only reason they seem to 'wise up' with age is because they're no longer at the prime of physical attractiveness and are running out of options fast.

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    • That's because women have a different definition of 'nice, gentlemanly'. They want someone is nice caring and gentlemanly all that stuff, but more importantly they want someone who is 'masculine' and isn't a pussy - invariable a lot of not so nice guys have those traits.

      Ifs like me asking you, do you want a hot bitchy girl or a nice ugly girl? Most guys will take the hot girl, but what if you've got a nice hot girl? Thats the ideal. Just as a nice guy who also has those masculine traits.

    • What exactly are these 'masculine traits' you speak off? I thought that the change in gender roles and rise of feminism blurred the line between 'masculine' and 'feminine' to a large extent,

  • I agree! At least up through a certain age. Around mid 30s or so MOST women start wising up. Maybe that's why I've always dated older women.

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    • Agreed. Most women supposedly 'realize' the truth when they're past their prime physical attractiveness,, only because their options gradually reduce.

    • Not always ture. I've met women in their 30s, 40s or even 50s who put younger rgirls to shame. My girlfriend is 44 and STILL gets asked for her ID if we to a place for her to have wine and the like. She's even accused of having a fake drivers license because they dont believe her age.

  • Meh... lack of self esteem on your part. Be kind don't be a push over stabs your ground and don't be afraid to confront her. If she treats you like shit she's not worth it. Mean woman's beauty fades with age a good woman's beauty blossoms for how she makes a man feel.

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  • If you're 25-29 age group and you still think like this then you're fucked. With women that is.

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    • Doesn't matter either way. I gave up on women over 4 years ago, and have been focusing on other aspects of my life. I didn't even attempt to date or like women in these 4 years. i completely shut my mind and became oblivious to the fact that there are actually two genders.

      SO this question wasn't about me anyway. I just wanted to hear people's opinions about it, considering what's happening around me.

    • Well what you've described is the same opinion I've had of women when I was 18. It took me a while, but I then realised that being 'nice, gentlemanly etc' are good features, but not the most important features. The most important features is being masculine.

      For example, which of the following will do better with guys: A girl thats smoking hot? Or a girl thats nice and caring? Of course 95% of guys will go for the hot girl. Because physical attractiveness in women > any other trait; for men at least. But a hot girl who is ALSO nice and caring is every guys dream girl. Just as is a nice, caring, compassionate guy who is masculine is every girls dream guy.

  • You gotta balance the douchebaggery with the gentleman chivalrous side.

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    • You're theoretically correct. But women usually don't give the man 'benefit of doubt', so they just categorize the kind of man you described as 'gentlemanly' anyway. Which means, he's out of luck.

  • This isn't bad for me I just do what I must to get women even if that means being a jerk.

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    • Its good for you if you are actually able to change yourself and become a jerk, to attract women.

    • I am naturally a jerk no need to be fake.

    • That's even better! It means you have got your shit together. Being a jerk is an art, actually. Not everyone can be one.

  • Women tend to not respect a man who is too nice, and they are attracted to confidence, which is found in large quantities in guys who are assholes. But you have to balance that with some kindness and respect for others too.

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  • Not exactly. Take your average loserish guy who is also a stereotypical "nice guy." You are correct--he's getting no action. He looks at the star quarterback jock type, who's a dick, but is banging all the cheerleaders and thinks: "I know! If I act like a dick, like that guy, I'LL get chicks too!" So he does. What happens? Now he's STILL not getting any action and everyone hates him. Bad move.

    The problem here is that it IS good to be a nice guy. But only AFTER a girl is ALREADY attracted to you SEXUALLY. Typical loserish nice-guys tend to think, "I have such great boyfriend qualities that if she sees them she'll definitely want to be with me!" Again, that's true ONLY IF she's already attracted to you sexually. And if you're honest, it's EXACTLY the same with guys. Think about the stereotypical "she's got a GREAT personality!" girl. What does that mean to you? Usually that she's ugly as sin. And how many times has that won you over? Never. So again, you've got to want the sex FIRST and the relationship SECOND. True for guys, true for girls. Where the average loserish nice-guy falls down is in believing he'll make his "edge" having good boyfriend qualities. Instead, he needs to FIRST make himself sexually more attractive.

    So back to the loser and the QB. Is the QB getting girls because he's being a dick? No--he's getting them because he's an athlete, probably good looking, and has high social status. In short, he's getting them because girls find him sexually attractive. He can get away with being a dick because there will always be plenty of VERY attractive girls willing to jump on his cock the second someone else get's off it.

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    • You make perfect sense.

      So it all comes down to the man being physically attractive. But there's only so much a man can do to improve his looks, because at a certain point his natural appearance gets in the way, right? i mean... what is a man supposed to do if he is well groomed, dresses well, has great hygiene etc. but is not naturally good looking and girls reject him for that? Does he have to resort to over-the-top methods like plastic surgery to completely altter his looks and make himself attractive?

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    • ^completely agree. MHO

    • Thanks man! Your answer in here is spot on as well!

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