Why don't guys ever approach me?

I'm going to be honest, and I expect brutally honest answers.

I am a 24 year old female who has had 2 guys in my entire life show ANY sort of sexual attraction towards me. Those 2 guys have lost interest in me after 6 months. I'm not sure why I couldn't keep their interest, but my theory is that it's because I was showing too much interest.. if that's possible?

Physically- I am a bit overweight. I am not hideous, but I usually don't wear makeup or dress up. I wear a tank top, cardigan, and jeans all the time. When I dress up, I think I look pretty hot. My weight isn't a huge issue. It's the sort of weight where you can't call me skinny, but I'm not fat enough for it to be a turn off.

I am funny, very approachable, and sweet towards everyone. Whenever I'm out with friends, my friends get hit on and I get ignored. I joke around a lot, because that's just how I am. I like to have fun and not be uptight. Some people find that annoying. I have ZERO self-confidence, and I'm not sure if guys can pick up on it, but my friend is the same way as me, but she's doing fine in the dating scene.

But seriously, its like I have this shield that repels guys, and I can't figure it out. My friends tell me to try to look nicer, so I did. I STILL don't get hit on. Help me figure this out. What can I do to attract more attention without acting like a hooker?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think your confidence is an issue because the guys aren't very confident either!. In the same boat as you, guys would flirt with but nothing sincere. I think you are just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe find a decent place to date besides bars and all that, and try opening up your feelings in a way he can understand.
    Find some common grounds with someone and tell yourself you are sexy no matter what! :)

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What Guys Said 8

  • I'm thinking the weight could be a huge factor. While there are guys who like heavier girls, many of them just say that just to try to look good. If you keep joking around with people, just take it a step further with the people you joke around with. The only time it's "too much interest" if you're prohibiting them from doing what they need to do on a regular basis.

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  • Guys fear rejection as much as girls and generally most men won't approach a women unless she has given him the green light through solid eye contact or a little smile. If you see a guy you like make prolonged eye contact with him followed by a cheeky but subtle smile while breaking eye contact. If he likes you he will approach.

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  • well part of the problem is that when you do tell girls sometimes that you are into them, it doesn't even register and it goes right over their heads... particularly when they aren't into you at all, and its a bummer. Guys take a lot of risk with that kind of stuff, because to do it requires guys to humble themselves and mentally admit that this girl is someone worth pursuing. I mean you may be giving the right signals, but the problem today is that a lot of guys feel like they aren't good enough for the women they are crushing on because of the kinds of demands women sometimes ask for.

    It goes both ways, but guys are usually the ones who have to make their ego's/hearts vulnerable by taking the leap, so i sympathize more with them in this regard. But yeah, some of them probably do like you, but are afraid that you won't take their interest in you seriously, or you may not just like them that way at all, and instead of being disappointed, they would rather take the safer route

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  • When you say you look pretty hot when you dress up, are you being completely honest? because most decently attractive women have to shut men down there are so many trying to get with them.

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  • let's filter all the unnecessary stuff

    " I am a bit overweight " "My weight isn't a huge issue."

    really are you sure?

    need pics to determine if weight is an issue.

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    • It depends on the guy, I guess. My BMI says I'm overweight, but physically, most of my weight comes from my breasts. I'm a H cup, and my stomach is flat, arms are normal, and the only other issue on my body are my thighs. Everything else I'm pretty content with..

    • H cup, flat stomach and thick thighs. Just made me want to see it even more.

  • start working out. seriously tho thick girls dont understand how much of a turn off it really is... plus because ur overweight chances are uve got some muscle and curves underneath that fat and could look great.

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  • Next time you go alone avoid ur friend they are ur problem...

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  • So how often do YOU approach guys? Do you think you are special and the guys should just be falling all over you? Why do you think it's up to the guys to show interest? Why don't YOU start approaching guys.

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    • I have a approached a guy once, and he actually accepted my number, but there was no chemistry there and we ended up not talking anymore which is ok. I see guys approaching girls all the time and wonder why they don't approach me. I'm not saying they have to.

    • lol ONCE? Try getting rejected like once A DAY like most guys go through. You don't think guys have problems with girls not noticing them or rejecting them? Why don't you step up to the plate... ask one guy each day that you find interesting... ask him to hang out or do something... then you might find a nice quite shy guy that will love you. :)

What Girls Said 2

  • Guys are extremely adept at picking up on a girl's confidence. If you have none like you say, guys aren't going to have any kind of interest in you (at least the right ones won't). Seeming too interested in guy is also a bit of a turn-off, since guys usually like to pursue a girl, and if she's too available, it ruins the fun for them. As cliché as it sounds, being confident is the best thing you can do. Also, not worrying so much about attracting guys or dating. Of course, it's great to know someone is attracted to you and wants to be with you, but there's so much more to life than that. Don't feel like you need a relationship or that you need to be hit on.

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  • Its the confidence. Without it, you will attract low lifers forever. Your attitude needs work.

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