We admitted to liking each other, but he says he can be just friends? I can't, is he being honest?

I don't get it, we had a cordial break up. We just decided not to take things forward since I am 4 years older and moving to another country. I didn't contest it since I agreed with him at first but then I realised that I do like him so it was his decision. I made that clear but I didn't put pressure on him since I wouldn't want him that way. However, we knew we would have to set boundaries but we were avoiding it because it would have been hard to do. At one point, when I moved to another country... after the first week, I just knew something had to change and I said we can't do this. "Either we are everything or nothing and if things can't go anywhere then I want to give someone else the chance instead of being hooked on you". He understood and I know he always puts me first, so he said" I respect that and I'd rather it wouldn't happen but as you wish". After breaking no contact, we spoke only once for a bit since he was getting some big news about uni but that was it. During that he started, asked if I forgot him and said he missed me. I was cryptic and didn't really express much. He then said, so talk to you soon? I said maybe we shouldn't and i asked if he also thought that maybe this is it. I mean we can't be friends and he isn't ready for things the way I am which is fine since I've been in his shoes. He gives me much more than I have ever given him. But its like he avoids realising that he could lose me, so when I went no contact.. i said maybe we can be friends down the line but for that its important to get over each other, hence the no contact. And now he said he can just be friends despite the feelings so he doesn't need the space and I said how is that possible. I mean really? Can a guy just be friends when he has feelings for you? He said, one day I will also get over you. But does any understand his psyche? I know I should and I do somewhat.. just not the ok with being friends part.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like he's just getting a bit desperate in keeping you around, or can't come to terms with moving on.

    I agree with your stance, there should be some time apart to let things cool off. Then there's the chance for friendship renewed.

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    • Yeh which is strange since he is the one who said we can't be together

    • Many decisions are made by people without considering the effects.

      Maybe he knew that breaking up would be the logical thing due to the circumstances, yet once it happened, that feeling of 'it's over' was a bit scary.

What Guys Said 1

  • I definitely wouldn't talk to you again

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