I don't know if she's brushing me off, and whether I should ask her about it?

I'm 26, she's 21. We met at a party a few weeks back, only chatted a bit, but then a week ago she contacts me on Facebook and asks me if I want to go to a gig with her on Friday. I accept and suggest that she use my spare room for the night so she doesn't have to deal with the trains home, which she happily agrees to. At first I wasn't sure if she was making romantic overtures or just after friendship, but on the day of the gig, we go over to mine a few hours before to have some drinks and a chat. I get all the positive body language, so after we've both sunk a few vodkas, I decide to go for it and kiss her. And then we're all over each other. Gig goes well, more making out, more drinks. I take her back to mine early since she's been awake for like 40 hours by this point (insomniac/party animal, I think). I didn't intend it to go so far on what turned out to be a first date, but we were both pretty tipsy, and it just happened: we had sex. For most of that night and the next day we cuddled and kissed, until she had to go home to do some studying/catch up on sleep. I tell her I had fun and want to go out again, she agrees. But then, instead of studying/sleeping, she spends the next few days mostly partying with a (male) friend of hers. Come Monday, she asks me if I can meet up with her in town to return a skirt she'd left at mine. She's with her friend, which makes it a little awkward. I ask her if she's free next weekend and she says she doesn't know, because she's got a big exam on Thursday or something like that, but she tells me she'll get back to me about it. I go in to kiss her goodbye and she allows it, but I honestly don't know if she was feeling it or not.

It's very early, I know, but I think I really like her, not just sexually. But I can't help but feel that she's gone cold on me, and I don't know what to do. If she doesn't get back to me, how long should I wait to contact her? Should I ask if something's gone wrong? Help me. :(


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What Guys Said 1

  • She may have been hooking up with other dude.

    I don't think I'd chase her too hard, you'll look desperate.

    If she wants it, she knows where to get it. Make sure you make some offers, as an article on here said: be accessible but not available.

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    • Well, I've considered the possibility that she's been hooking up with him, but I've really got no inkling of an idea if that's the case or not. She does seem to be very devoted to her friends, so it's entirely possible that their relationship is entirely platonic, at least on her end. Hell, she could be 100% sincere when she says that she's busy with her exam and all that, rather than just brushing me off. The uncertainty kills.

      As for chasing her, that's where I get a bit unsure. I don't want to look desperate, but I also don't want her to feel as if I just wanted sex and now don't care about her. Hence why I tried to ask her out again and got an "I'll get back to you" for my troubles. Just not sure how long I should leave her to get back to me before I do something (either try to talk to her or just write the whole thing off as a lost cause).

    • Well, make sure you tell her that you weren't after just a ONS. And that she should get ahold of you when she's free.

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