How do you balance being chivalrous with equal rights? As a woman, what do you like? Men, how do you handle this?

I just had to write an article about chivalry vs. equal rights. It can get tricky with guys. We want to do the right thing, but sometimes, don't know what that is. Ladies, when do you want us to be chivalrous and when do you wanted to be treated as an equal. Guys, how do you navigate this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Do hold open doors, Don't run ahead and be obnoxious about holding open doors.

    Do help with carrying stuff, Don't make a big deal out of it if she says that she'a got it.

    Some people say chivalry is paying for the dates, but if she wants to pitch in, let her.

    Chivalry is being able to hold her purse if she needs you to without you being embarassed about it.

    I guess some say offering your jacket is chivalry too. but if she doesn't want to wear the jacket, don't make a scene and insist upon it.

    I'm just going off the cliche stuff.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I like chivalry and politeness. I'm a woman, but I hold doors open for men all the time, if a guy needs help carrying something, I offer my help. It's just the -right- thing to do, imo. People should treat each other in a courteous manner, regardless of gender. There are men and women, however, who feel that women have to choose between being treated politely vs. being treated as an equal. It doesn't have to be so black and white. I feel that -most- women want both and most men want to do both... it's just a small group of men and women who have a much more provincial outlook on the matter.

    Situations where I like chivalry:
    holding doors open
    helping me carry something if i'm really struggling

    Situations where I want to be treated equally:
    managing a project/team
    making important decisions (i. e. financial)

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  • I like no no I admire chivalrous men, but I always keep my door open for them all the time if a guy need help carrying or something I always offer my help for me it's right thing to do, there is no small line between been treated chivalrous or equal, for me chivalrous and equal are the same, but sometimes it's depend on the man personality..

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  • So many people but far too much thought into it. It's a respect thing. Be respectful of one another. Don't get angry when a guy offers to hold the door- he's not violating your "equal rights." He's just being a gentleman. I like when the guy pays for a date, but I like to pay for dates too. It's all about a nice, respectful balance.

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  • This equal rights bullshit is for the birds. Women need to get over it. Men are the protectors women are the ones who cater to the men. It's the way its always been and it never should've changed

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What Guys Said 7

  • im just gonna guess, girls want guys to be chivvy when it comes to opening the door and good manners and stuff like that. and then equal rights when it comes down to really important details in life, like financial situations, bringing a pet into the home maybe, merging cell phone plans lol.

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  • I just treat everyone well, I hope, or at least within the capacity of a limited human being. Women I like get treated like princesses though. Levin the self no longer exists, and hollows out into a pleasure giving receptacle.

    To me the solution is rather simple. We're always trying to 'think' what the best solution is, when that's not necessarily the rightful function of thought in the context of our interactions with each other. It is not natural, and tis contrived. One simply has to get in touch with how one feels, for the answer is more spontaneous and context driven, not determined by thought which is mostly perpetually trying to wrestle competing demands and conflicting conditioning. There are times when one should not open a door for a woman, not least when you don't particularly like her... But I always open the door for my @harakiri -bear and offer to carry her various heavy shite.

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    • Hahahahaha why thank you Levin-bear. I appreciate that :p

    • Show All
    • YODA! oh he's a cutie :p that tiny nose... hehe :D

  • I do the chivalrous thing and if someone thinks their equal rights are being violated, we're not together much longer. I'm not going to change who I am and how I treat people for someone who'd get butthurt because I open a door.

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  • Well I'm chivalrous when it comes to opening doors, letting the girl go first, having good manners abd all that stuff, but I've always thought that it's not a sign of equal rigths because unless she's handicapped there's no reason for a man to open the door for her or let her go first. Why can't she be the one opening the door or me being the one who goes in first?
    Also, some women may think that it's an insult to do this as she may think I'm insinuating she's not capable of doing those things.

    I consider myself as a very chivalrous guy, but sometimes I ask myself why a man has to do it for a woman, but a woman can't do it for a man.

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  • I just treat everyone with respect regardless of gender. I don't have any expectations of a girl and what she likes based on her gender. Everyone likes different things and navigating that is fresh with every new person you date regardless of whether or not she's traditional.

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  • Just be polite to people in general.

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  • All women who have a working moral compass want a bit of chivalry from a man. Only women with warped views about feminism find opening a car door or carrying their luggage offensive.

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