I feel like in dating, I always play the role of the nice guy who girls never choose. What should I do differently?

Here's a perfect example. I went out three times with a girl, asked her out for a fourth time, and she sent me this text several days later:

"Hey, I'm so so sorry that I haven't contacted you. I think I'm starting to date someone and I've been a little anxious about the whole thing and my head hasn't been totally grounded. i think I am going to try it though. I think that you are great and thank you for taking me on so many great dates."

I texted back, "No problem. Good luck. :)"

Naturally I want to be a nice guy, but I feel like that's not really what gets the girls - like I probably should have texted something different (witty, etc.). Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Let's not use the nice guy stigma.

    That is just what guys tell themselves just so that they can blame their rejection on the girl and not themselves or on no one at all. It's not so much that you are a nice guy because you can be a nice guy and still get a girl just fine. But are you the kind of "nice guy" that just acts like a friend to a girl? Or are you the kind of "nice guy" that is also assertive, dominant?

    If you are the first one then you need to be the second. Girls want a guy that can take charge, not a guy that is just the friend they can gossip to.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think it was just a matter of wrong person wrong timing. A real woman might play with boys, but they settle down with a man. And a real man treats his woman well. So don't worry too much :)

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  • Try to date more than one person at a time the first few weeks do you don't build up a near stranger to be more than she is. Three dates isn't too much and you didn't do anything wrong necessarily. It just works that way sometimes

    Otherwise, being fit, wearing clothes that look good, trying to have fun and giving and taking in conversation help anyone out.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It depends how nice you are. Don't believe all that crap about how girls like bad boys who treat them bad and act like jerks etc... women hate that. The best is when you are kind, friendly, thoughtful but with that bad boy confidence. It give you an edge and it's very rare to find men who are like that. Either they are overly confident and act like complete tools or they are very nice and submissive to women. (Turn off) Find the balance. Being friendly, kind and thoughtful are characteristics women look for in a long term boyfriend or husband but when you mix it up with bad boy confidence it portrays a total alpha dominance and women LOVE! That.

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  • You should have texted her back the picture of Patrick saying "i thought what we had was special" to make her feel bad. She acted like a bitch and gave you the short end of the stick

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  • Oh, you got the short stick :( happens to all guys at least once. I recommend going on dates with more then one girl at a time. You need to figure out what works and WHY. One thing guys learn as a nice guy is not to devote to much time to any girl without a good reason. Or their will be a huge void when she doesn't return your feelings and you feel betrayed. And put yourself first, find out what you want.

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