What are the cons of a polyamarous relationship?
Are there any pros- can it work?
Most Helpful Guy
Well, one of the biggest cons is the massive amount of misinformation regarding it, and the fact that people will judge your relationship without any understanding of how it actually works in practice.
Can it work? Yes, of course. I know dozens of people personally that have successful long-term polyamorous relationships. They can be immensely emotionally rewarding. But they are very difficult to handle if you are not emotionally mature.
Biggest pro is that it lets you experience unconditional love. That is the game-changer, and that is the appeal to a lot of people. That is something that you cannot get out of monogamy, by definition. As soon as you say "I will love you IF AND ONLY IF you agree to not love anyone else, regardless of you may feel" you are introducing a condition, and the love cannot be unconditional. So that is the biggest pro. Another would be the fact that you don't have to be everything to someone, you can just be you, and play to your strengths. As a gamer, I like to have a partner to game with. But if I have multiple partners, I don't need them all to be gamers. If someone isn't a gamer, it's not a deal-breaker. They can just be them, and we can do things together that are in their interests. It allows everyone to just be themselves and to grow and foster their own personal interests, while providing ways to learn about new things from other people.
Additionally, the level of honesty and open communication required for polyamorous relationships to work introduce a level of transparency that is missing from a lot of monogamous relationships, so that is generally a pro as well.
As for the cons... it is a lot of emotional work required to get through the learned fears associated with monogamy. Jealousy and possessiveness are fear-based emotions, and most people's initial worry about poly is that they will be left behind, replaced, or compared. That fear is reinforced by society, and is therefore incredibly difficult to work through.2
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