How much do looks matter for girls?

Last summer I asked my female friend, why don't I have a girlfriend? Is it my personality or is it my looks? She said I look fine, your personality probably sucks (jokingly). Work on your personality. I've been working on being social, and I'm good at it now, but last week I got rejected by this girl I was crazy for, and she started dating a guy who looks better than I do. How much do looks matter?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Looks matter when it comes to getting our attention but you'd be amazed what confidence can do. Even if a guy isn't what I would necessarily consider physically attractive, his confidence and the way he carries himself can make me attracted to him. I find that guys who stand tall and aren't afraid to speak up do well in dating whether they're physically attractive or not. So I'd day personality definitely matters because even if your looks don't attract a woman, your whole persona definitely can. So when you approach a girl try to exhume as much confidence as possible without coming off as cocky (even though I know it can be terrifying when you really like her). I know that would work on me. Even if you don't consider yourself what girls would consider "hot", approach them with the confidence of someone who knows how hot he is.

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    • I do do that, I come off as confident and friendly. Sometimes girls take a new look at me at the end of the conversation and say "you're a cool guy". But I have such a hard time finding a girlfriend. That's why I'm wondering about it.

What Girls Said 9

  • Maybe you haven't met the person for you yet. Some people don't mesh, but don't let it get you down! It took me until now (22) to meet a guy I really like. I used to be kind of picky with guys I would "like" and used to think looks were more important, that the whole "looks don't matter" thing was a myth. But the guy now who I've had the most feelings for does not look like that '10' i would have imagined myself with. His personality and the way I feel when I'm with him attract me to him far more than his physical appearance. He is cute, and little quirks like his big nose makes me like him even more. It strengthens your attraction and bond to be connected to someone on a much more intimate level than physical appearance. You don't have to worry "oh no! I can't let him see me without makeup" or "ah I have to shave my armpits!"because physical attraction isn't the only thing holding your relationship together. Also, I don't have to worry about him getting crazy hit on ;) Mental connections is definitely where its at, having really experienced it for my first time this last month. Just let life bring someone special your way. If you are desperate for a girlfriend, you will emit that in your aura, and potential gfs could sense that and it may scare them away. I used to tell myself, until I love myself, I can't love anyone else. Who you end up with can be a reflection of you. Work to make yourself the best you can be, and that love radiates, drawing other people towards you. Supposedly, I used to be really intimidating to talk to. But after a few years at working on myself, getting healthy, fostering good relationships, and trying to live every day to the fullest, I am a lot happier. Even random people have told me that I'm beautiful or my aura is shining. Before, they wouldn't even talk to me or my friends would say I was frowning. Looks can matter to a certain extent, but your looks aren't gonna change, so why worry about it!

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    • Thanks. I'm not looking for an excuse. I just wanted to see whether to go to the gym more, or spend more time talking to girls to develop the personality I convey. I have met the people for me, multiple times. This whole thing of waiting around until someone special "comes into" your life, only works for girls. No girl is going to just magically come into my life. Please don't give that advice to any guy. I know what you mean about the whole looks thing, I liked that girl I mentioned, like that. She looked less than average when I met her, but I just liked every little detail about her. Oh, well.

  • Dude I've dated some pretty ugly/ decent looking guys hah i mean im not saying im pretty but yeah hah i think that looks dont really matter if you have a good personality. well at least to me thats like a must have.

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  • Looks and personality both matter to me.
    I have to be attracted to you mentally and physically.
    You could have a good personality and be cute, but that doesn't mean we'll "click".

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  • For me, looks is not that big deal.
    What will you do with that good looking face if your attitude is not that good. I prefer kind and average looking person than hard headed handsome person. Anyways, if you were being love by a person, he or she will accept anything about you. Maybe you just didn't meet the right girl, try to wait :)

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    • :/ I'm almost 26, haven't had a girlfriend, still a virgin. Any time I spend "waiting" will reduce my chances. Not being unconfident, it's just a fact.

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    • I'm starting to understand what girls mean by "wait". You meet a lot of guys who want to have sex with you, and you "wait" until you're ready or when you meet the right one. That's not really how it works for me.

    • I admit that looks sometimes matter , in your case , do looks of the girls matter to you? If yes , then don't be surprise if other girls look at physical appearance more. If no, then good for you, most girls including me , admire those kind of person. Practically speaking me as myself do really think how a girl looks matter to boys.

  • It really matters to us. It's important as much as the personality.

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  • If you meet someone on a physical level first then looks are the intro obviously. If you are friends first the personality can spark the physical attraction. I think everyone would agree that people have certain physical types they are drawn to. What is considered physically attractive to one may be unattractive to another. My girlfriend and I have completely different tastes in men, but that doesn't mean anyone is ugly, it's just a preference.

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  • Looks don't matter, confidence in a man is potent (not arrogance, that's unattractive) humour is also attractive too

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    • LOL, that's why I'm wondering I don't have girlfriend. I am confident, I am humourous, I am cool, I am smart, well read, honest, I even worked on my eye contact, tonality, making conversations, even the fucking distance between me and the girl I talk to, practically anything I could think of. Girls seem to be having a really nice time talking to me, yet I'm easily thrown away like a bag of yesterday's garbage. I'm clearly no ones first choice.

    • Just be yourself and relax when you're talking to women, if you're self conscious and trying too hard then it will come over to the woman as desperation. I'm a firm believer in that there is someone for everyone out there and you'll meet a girl with whom you'll just 'click' with and who will totally get you. If a woman can't accept you for who you are then she doesn't deserve you in her life. Enjoy life and stop worrying about meeting the right girl. You'll meet a girl who's right for you when you least expect it.

  • Attraction definitely matters. The good news is that women vary wildly on what it is that attracts them. Everyone gets rejected, it's part of finding the right one.

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  • Not as much as personality. I mean yes, looks grab the attention of girls, but when the find out that you are dick, they instantly run away.

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    • I'm no dick.

    • My point was at some point looks won't matter.

    • Plenty of women date men who cheat on them or abuse them, being a dick isn't a obstacle in getting a girlfriend lol.

What Guys Said 8

  • When there teens it matters a lot. When they want a serious boyfriend not so much, they are mostly concern if your working and what kind of a job do you have

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  • Looks are the first line of pre-interaction thing that we scan for, we like the things we see, which are superficial, but we feel in love with what the things that we couldn't see.
    Yes, looks DO matter for girls at first sight.
    Back to the reality that you got rejected that you were crazy for. Keep in mind that it's all about numbers game.

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    • I've talked to and have asked out between 400-500 girls in the past 8 months. I think I may need to spend more time in the gym rather than working on my social skills.

  • We're all looking for different things. That one may have preferred different looks than you. She may have thought you're too attractive. Who knows. There's no equation to find out what all girls want.

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    • Sorry if the term "ugly" made it's way into my opinion, I was trying to use attractive/unattractive. Either way, nobody is ugly, we just can't please everyone physically.

    • @Cleveland yeah I think that's what you were trying to say.

  • it matters above everything

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  • Looks matter in that it's better if you're not one ugly mofo, because then you have to overcome the mountain of being physically repulsive.
    Being attractive just makes it easier to get girls, but confidence is definitely number one

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  • A huge amount. Its the biggest factor in whether an individual would date or sleep with you. It is somewhat subjective though, so just look the best you can and meet as many women as reasonably possible.

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  • Just as much as they do to guys

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    • Honestly, she looked less than average when I met her. It doesn't matter much to me.

  • looks don't matter if you're tall

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    • Well, that's true. Or if you're black, cause white girls automatically think you have a big dick.

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    • And lots of money. New Life Goal : Be tall and black

    • We have the same goal hahahaha

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