I've done everything... and I'm still alone?

I'm 23 going on 24 and I have yet to be in a single relationship. I've looked at my self critically over the years and I don't know why I'm having such a difficult time. I'm a very caring and out going person by nature, good looking, tall, highly athletic, muscular and toned, smart, and extremely chill. I am a student with an intended career goa l in pharmacology. I spend more time than people are aware of volunteering with the American Red Cross and New York Cares helping others as much as I can.

Over the years I've approached more women than I can remember (literally) and most have either ignored me or have become friends that I still have today. None of these particular friends are interested in me and that's fine because I still personally value my friendships. But I don't know what else to do besides everything that I have done.

I've realized that I can't just sit around and wait for the right girl to come along because shit like that rarely happens. I took the initiative of talking to other successful guys, reading books, and even seeing experts but it's as if nothing is working.

I'm human like everyone else and I don't think I'm weird for wanting someone to hold or have intimate interactions with once in a while. I don't really know who else to turn to for help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You can drop me a private message anytime and I'd be happy to give some directions if you want it.

    My guess is this...

    1) You're friendly but not building attraction/tension.
    2) When you do create interactions you're not escalating it in a romantic way.

    Think about romantic chemistry as a combination of social skills and random chance. If your social skills are good there's still a random chance that she's just not into guys like you, and visa versa. There's no magical way to make all women available and sexually interested. And that's okay!

    And you're definitely doing some of the right things... you're being social and you're meeting women.

    But what you're doing once you meet them plays the next biggest role.

    In just about every single case I've seen, where a guy is actively trying to meet women but failing, he's doing something that either pushes women away, or he's not doing enough to escalate the relationship.

    So do you think you're being awkward in a way that makes women disengage from you during conversation? Or do you think they like talking with you but then it simply fizzles out?

    Just quickly I'll say this... attraction is about tension. It's about emotions and chemistry and feelings. And how a woman FEELS when she's around you... which has nothing to do with LOGIC, or what she THINKS about you. Ever notice in the movies how the hero will often first have conflict with the girl he's eventually going to sleep with? That conflict is tension, and that tension builds attraction.

    So if you're being super nice, like a cute little puppy, it's not going to make women want you sexually, it'll just make them friends.

    That's not actually a bad thing, if you know how to eventually turn on the attraction, and escalate the relationship.

    How good are you at lining up a first date with the women you meet? And then how good are you at going in for that first kiss?

    ~ Robby

    (My Blog: http://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com/ )

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What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe try asking your female friends? Seems like they'd know u and maybe can help u with ur problem.
    I dont see why u wouldn't have a girlfriend u sound like a good catch

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  • there are many books on this issue

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What Guys Said 2

  • maybe its time you just hold onto your faith but focus more on yourself and she will then notice you.

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  • look up David Wygant, Johnny Berba, or Nick Notas

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