Had a girl from STRICTER CULTURE at my place, but was different than with other girls - I was disappointed that nothing happened - taking it too fast?

I have an arab female friend who wears a "head scarf"... I always found her attractive but never really had interest.

Anyways, today she had to lie to her parents but we hung out for the first time at my place for a good 4-5 hours today, talked, watched videos and so on. I could tell she put in effort to look really good, I could tell. Being alone with a guy is VERY taboo in her culture, although she is kind of a rebel and doesn't agree with the way she was raised. The cool thing was that she actually TOOK OFF the head scarf at my place! She was STUNNING, I was in awe.

Anyways, I think I'm crushing on her now haha. We chilled and watched videos on my bed but I didn't dare try anything - she comes from a stricter culture and I'm not sure if she's even kissed a guy. We got along pretty well and seemed to have fun, but for some reason when she left I felt disappointed that nothing "happened" as it usually would with the white girl I date.

Am I setting my expectations too high in assuming that there should be crazy sparks flying through the air when you are getting to know somebody? Especially since she is from a stricter culture?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • it's a huge deal that she took off her hijab, imo. she wanted to stun you. i had a friend who wear a hijab all throughout high school. she didn't wear it for prom night and i swear, every single guy in the room was captivated by how beautiful she looked with her long hair down. it might not seem like much, but her showing you that side of herself is a huge fucking deal. little details like that might not mean much to a girl from a less strict culture. so... yeah, you're going to have to expect things to go MUCH slower -if- anything actually happens at all. sex is probably not on the table at all. she might not ever let it go more than you seeing her with her hair down. it's hard to say. i would advise you to take it slow and see where it goes- be fully aware that it might not go anywhere due to her background. she could get into major trouble if anyone ever found out. my parents aren't strict muslims, they would never ask me to wear a hijab or anything, but even they don't like me hanging out with straight non-brown dudes one-on-one.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Good job for taking it slow. I feel like the headscarf thing was already major. Just... baby steps man... baby steps...

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  • Well yeah you can't expect things to go fast at all. If you want a genuine relationship which I am sure you want, take things slow. Maybe when you are alone again start small, ask her for a hug. That is a massive deal she is rebelling for you.

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  • Agree with harakiri. Showing her hair to a man she's not married to is a huge deal in her culture. It's a good thing you're taking it slow as you can expect things to go much slower.

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  • Sounds like some parks flew even if that day didn't end with sexual contact. Seems like a good first hang out sesh. Just see what happens.

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  • I admire your self control

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah that is a big deal she took it off, she is probably trying to change you though into being a Muslim cause most arabs don't believe in dating and in Islam a woman can't marry a non Muslim man, but a Muslim man is aloud to marry a non Muslim woman its a double standard, but that is the way it is. I would say she is definitely attracted to you considering she even went to your house and it was just you two.

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  • yeah i know few women of that kind , anyway , why dont you start on light stuff first , like may be , touching her shoulder, pat her head , or anything non-sexual ..
    your expectation is not impossible , stricter people usually hide their wildness very well..

    just my opinion..

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