Can a guy be completely head over heels for a girl, even if he doesn't find her to be pretty or "attractive"?

I have a guy that I'm sleeping with and I can't tell whether he really likes me, or he's just in it for a sex. He only tells me I'm pretty when he's drunk and other times I can feel that he doesn't think I'm very pretty. That being said, is it possible for a guy to really want to be with a girl that he doesn't find to be pretty? Will looks always matter a lot to guys?

Typo:*the* sex


Most Helpful Guy

  • Once you have been together for a long time and grow old together it all changes. But at first Its all about the attraction

    • can the attraction be on the personality though? or does the physical attraction have to be there?

    • In some slim cases it can be, but most people that just start dating its an attraction thing at first that pulls them together


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What Guys Said 6

  • Show us what you look like and you'll get more accurate opinions. To men... looks DO matter. We can be shallow creatures. BUT... personality is just as important. Many women's looks fade with age, but their man is still very happy with them. Why? It's because of their personality and things they've been through together. A man/woman bond at that point is more than just looks. Many men wouldn't trade their partner of many years for a hot, little thing. They love who they're with no matter what.
    if your relationship doesn't have time behind it, then it's questionable what's going on here. From what you wrote, it sounds like he just says what he needs to get he dick wet. And that's not cool!
    You are special... and you deserve the best for yourself. He may NOT be that person (and doesn't sound like he is). Again... if I knew what you looked like, I could tell you. Often girls think they are unattractive, but they are actually very desirable to a man.
    Regardless... THIS guy doesn't sound right for you.

    • Ill send you a private message with pictures. Honest opinion would be greatly appreciated =]

  • Well you are talking about two separate situation here. When people are intoxicated, they tend to lose their cool and the ability to think clearly and talk properly so you can't use that as an example. Try stepping up and ask him his feelings in a direct and honest way, see how he reacts or you can do it another way around. The key is to find out how he feels about you.

    I have to admit. The first thing we ought to look at is your initial appearance, so looks does matter to a certain extent. It is possible to be with a girl the guy doesn't find attractive but both of them need to have complete trust in one and another.

    Different guys have different taste, so I would also like to point out that to determine the beauty of someone is subjective, so I can't really tell for sure if he is really into you. Again try to ask him and identify his feelings towards you.

    • Well, does the guy have to find you attractive to hold your hand, kiss you, and makeout with you? Or could this just be solely for his physical pleasure?

    • It can be either.

  • Yes, looks are one thing, character is more important in the long term. We are not all oil paintings.
    Would you only have strong feelings for a guy if he was good looking?

  • Lol, he'll fuck you, but won't date you. Yes, looks matter a lot, to all guys.

    I have the opposite problem, personally. There are girls I like whom I'm not sexually attracted to, but whom I have the urge to date and kiss and do all sorts of romantic stuff with.

  • Yes, she could be awesome in bed for example.

  • He probably wants to fuck you when his drunk that's why he says those things. If his sober and you get the feeling that he doesn't think you're attractive, then that's most likely the truth. He's just in it for sex. Since you been giving it to him with out being in a relationship with him, then you should just stick with that and don't expect anything else.

    Looks definetly plays a part, given that if I marry you I will have to stick with sleeping with you everyday. Sleeping next to a monster the rest of my life would not be an option. But off course, if the girl and I have been through something extreme, like I owe her my life. Then sure I might love an unattractive girl too. But, it's very unlikely that happens.

    Btw, if he likes you, he would like you even drunk or not.

    • thanks for the comment anon. =] do you think its ever possible for guys to fall for a girl's personality? even if he doesn't find her to be pretty?

    • Yes, but it has to be combined with at least average looks. But, if I were ugly then I don't have much of choice though. So it depends.

    • ah i see. well i dont think i'm ugly. i don't think i'm pretty, but a lot of guys compliment me on my looks and i hear that i'm pretty and cute alot, but it's just with this one guy, i feel like he doesn't feel that way. but you do have a valid point. thanks =]

What Girls Said 2

  • Look around, it doesn't take but a minute or so to see some odd couples that make you wonder what one saw in the other. Couples get together for other reasons than physical attraction. They also get together for reasons other than sex. I've seen some really attractive girls go for some guys that just make me wonder what attracted her to him, maybe he's funny, has a great personality, worships her... It's the same with guys I'm sure.

    If you have your doubts that he's just in it for sex you're probably going to have to come right out and ask him, if that's the case I'd be reevaluating your relationship.

  • In my opinion totally possible. Charm is more important than beauty.