How come guys are like this? please explain to me...

How come guys that were once in a committed relationship (18 years old), after they get out of it they just wanna date around and have fun?

If a guys ex is still his ex, why does he still refer to her as his best friend and say that they grew up together?

Also how come a guy suddenly loses interest in a girl that he claims that he really liked a lot?

Are all guys confusing and hard to figure out? ***tears***


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Heres the thing:

    GUYS WANT TO FUCK AS MANY GIRLS AS POSSIBLE IN THEIR LIVES.

    When I say that it is exagerrated lol but that is kind of the mindset men have in relation to the commitment( to one girl).

    unless a guy can actually get past that mentality or naturally isn't like that which is rare imo, a guy in his YOUNGER years will most likely NOT commit to a girl ESPECIALLY in their teens and early twenties. This doesn't apply to all guys but it does describe a large portion of a man's frame of mind on that matter. Sorry to say that yeah I bet it does suck for you girls who just want a man who can be your everything but there are so many things that can happen that will make a man make a mistake or lose interest or cheat or use women in general.

    its like a guy in a candy store, we see chocolate, white chocolate, caramel and other goodies and we want to taste everything and until we figure out what candy is the best, which one has the overall best taste, its texture and color and size and if even smells good, until a guy can find out which candy he can eat over and over and not get sick of it, because we know how eating the same thing over and over makes us sick in the end, if you can be the candy that makes his day, and every day for the rest of his life than that guy will want a lifetime supply of that sweetness.

    the end

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    • That's so sweet! xD

      ...but what if the guy doesn't like candy? :(

      HAHAHAHAHAHA ...then he's gay? xD

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    • So do you save old candys in the draw just in case you want to try them again?

    • If he doesn't like candy then he is diabetic and will die lonely :[

      I think that guys would go back to the same candy he thought was better at that time because he still hasn't found the right one, so he settles for second best. and maybe if he doesn't find the #1 candy for him, he will settle for #2.

What Guys Said 13

  • 1. To have "committed" to a relationship at 18 is already a feat in itself, so if the first relationship didn't work the last thing he's going to do is immediately lock himself into another one. He's going to go and enjoy himself, get over the breakup and maybe find a few new possibilities, take a few chances, meet people that he couldn't when he was in a relationship that prohibited him from such acts, especially if there were problems for a while.

    2. Unless the relationship ended horribly with screaming and blood, a guy may still choose to consider the Ex a friend simply because they really did like her regardless of the fact that they're not a couple anymore. If he has no reason to hate you he's not going to. Whether this is true for the woman is a different story since her view of the break up could be totally contradictory.

    3. Loss of interest has many causes, but main amoung these is he realized that what he thought he liked in the woman wasn't what he really wanted, or that there was something that changed her existence in his mind (ie. anything from "OMG I didn;t know she smokes" to "She looks hot but her personality isn't really working for me").

    Normal average guys are not confusing, we're simple. Our brains, more often than not, aren't complicated enough to manage confusing. Players are a different story as they spend their whole lives working on being confusing. Women are complicated, and that leads to over analysis of guys.

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  • At 18 it is totally normal and expected for guys and girls too (although to a lesser extent) to have fleeting short-term or sporadic interests and to have multiple interests. In fact, I would say that is preferable. The kids who mess themselves up the most are the ones who want to be in a single exclusive relationship way too young, especially when they get into that relationship too deep too quickly. It is better for him and better for you to keep the relationship at a more casual friendly distance. Just because you once had a thing that no longer exists the same as it used to doesn't mean you should also torpedoe the friendship. You can like a person, even somebody you really cared about and dated, and not want ot be in an exclusive committed relationship with them.

    So take the friendship at face value. He still likes you at least as much as a friend, but he is not ready to be committed to just one person. He wants to date around. And at 18 that is the wiser choice.

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  • It's easy to say your committed.

    Not many 18 year old's can spell commitment let alone swear by it.

    Your young, it didn't work so it wasn't meant to be, you move on like he did and stop worrying about what he's doing, it's not your business.

    You obviously liked the guy he didn't like you in the end, stop chasing him and find someone who wants you and don't find a rebound or use a guy to get at your ex.

    Got a whole lot more messing around, broken hearts and relationships to get through before you find the right one, it may take a month it may take a year but commitment and love is not a contract it is an awareness that grows over the test of time.

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  • Nah, you've got to think about it from a guys' perspective. Let's say I just had a long-term relationship that lasted quite a while say 6 or 7 years. I highly doubt that a lot of guys are going to be really quick about starting up another one. I know for a fact I'd like to take some time off and just date other people and have some fun for while, unless I did find someone else who I really wanted to be with. As for the second part, maybe that's because it's true. just because someone is your ex doesn't mean they can't be your best friend, and unless that person is your ex from a different country, then more likely than not, you two probably did grow up together. And for the last question, girls aren't the only ones who have a right to change their mind on a moments notice. I've done it a lot even with girls. One week, I might be crazy for one girl, then something might change, and I might not be into her any more.

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  • So I just get out of a serious long-term relationship and I'm supposed to just start one up with the next girl I meet?... um... yeah... OR I could date around and find someone who I think might last longer

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  • Not exactly, your over thinking this a bit. Men at that age don't liked to be tied down unless they really really love the girl. In all honesty I can go on and on about men being as horny as 14 year olds with a dirty mag but Females mature faster then males and know what they want , better then males. Males need to test the water to see if its good or not. Be it friend or foe things can turn upside down when a male is looking for fun. Just building up experience for the future. Maybe he'll grow up in time.

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  • Firstly, it could be one of many reasons the guy has a "Best friend" Ex. Primarilly, he still feels the need to stay close to her because of the intement relationship he probably once had with her. He needs to break that before getting into anything committed. Not saying that he couldn't balance it appropriately... just that most males cannot have a female best friend and hold a serious relationship. Men normally take female best friends so as to self medicate loneliness. I speak from personal experience there...



    If he was incredibly interested in some one and then lost all forward momentum with that... its because something took the place of that thought process. It could be his bills became too much to handle. He could have found some one to focus his interests on other than this other person. Most likely the later... Who knows except him?

    This would be a question best asked to him in honest. Don't confront him... but sit down with him in a quite environment and ask him. Be honest and open with him about these subjects and come at them from the perspective of a friend. If you care as much as it sounds like you do, just make sure he understands that you feel his decision in this matter affects your life. If he can't understand that...

    Good luck, God bless.

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  • "If a guys ex is still his ex, why does he still refer to her as his best friend and say that they grew up together?"

    Maybe she IS his best friend, and maybe they DID grew up together.

    "How come a guy suddenly loses interest in a girl that he claims that he really liked a lot?"

    Because she dumped him.

    "Are all guys confusing and hard to figure out?"

    No. Seems pretty simple so far...

    "***tears***"

    Why are you sad? That's what's confusing.

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  • After a while of being committed, and there's nothing wrong with that, guys want to keep their options open because if one has the attitude that they're going to search for a long term relationship right away, one fears that it will turn out the same way - with a break up.

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  • we are not into relationships as much as gurls are. we are more focused on what we do for a living. jobs and titles.

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  • cause he doesn't want to.

    he wants to have "fun" and hook u[ with girls

    and possibly get you jealous (which he is doing so don't let him get the best of u!)

    and wants to get you out of his mind so it makes you seem like he's a lot better off and doesn't want to seem like he needs you back and such

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  • hit him with a crowbar and chop up the body. that'll learn 'em.

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  • I am going to turn the question around on you and ask why girls do that to guys!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Most good guys start off in a comitted relationship because they love the girl they have this feeling of knowing that it is going to work out because they've been through so much and they love each other and eventually reality sets in. Things happen between those two that makes him feel he's not ready to be in a relationship but at the same time he loves her and wants to take the risk ( but the min they break up it's almost like a reliefe) things happen like realizing the things he's not able to do he can't enjoy his youth and grow up. That's also another reason why they stay friend it like a mutual understanding and it's the first girl he's ever felt like that for and can understand that they can just be friends. it's like an agreement (it's hard to explain) he grew up with her as in he grew to love her as more than a girlfriend now it's moved on to that brotherly sister love. sometimes guys loose interest in a girl when he saw something he really didn't like or don't approve of. Something that was way ouutta his leage. or someone beat you to his heart. no babigurl they are not confusing in time everything is clear trust me

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  • Well, I do know it's hardwired in their genes to get around as much as possible, and you'd be hard pressed to find any guy between 17--25 that was interested in settling down. The idea of being a 'free agent' and not tied down to anyone girl is an attractive one to most guys.

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