Can a man that is more than 12 years older than you be interested in dating & not just sex? What are your thoughts?

I'm almost 23 & I was always attracted to older men only because it lets me grow and I just have a different view on the world.

Updates:
If you saw my previous question about the single mom, then the question is more of will an older man be more interested because I'm a single mom and that I am not looking to run around and have fun?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, but his criteria for a girlfriend may not be what you want. It's impossible to make a blanket statement about everyone. Obviously there are people who fall in "true love" with that age difference. But from my personal experience, those older guys who I dated had different priorities than what I desired. They wanted me as a girlfriend sure, but it was because their main criteria for a girlfriend was focused on young age, beauty, trophy in front of friends, etc. They were much less concerned with the woman's personality, what they had in common, her intelligence, her sense of humor, etc.

    One guy even said to me (he was 35 at the time), "I don't want to date women my own age because I feel like something must be wrong with them if they're still single. Plus, they're too dried up to have kids." This was after his 15 yr stint of sleeping around, and being single for a long time himself. So basically he didn't just meet me and fall in love with me (how I looked and who I was), he sought me out specifically because I was 13 years younger. Basically I felt cheapened and like he didn't see what all I was bringing to the table. The numbers on my birth certificate were enough to land him :/

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    • I understand and respect your answer. How long were you together for? How did your family react?

      A guy I know slightly, asked me to be his girlfriend but a few weeks after we had sex but I felt nothing for him and it felt weird that his daughter is 14. Its a different story but I didn't know what he saw in me other than looks. He is not the readon I asked the question

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    • No hard feelings :) Him and I are still friends. I think he's a good guy, just not for me. And I do think people with an age difference can fall in love, but trust your gut on it. If you're worried it may be for the wrong reasons, it probably is.

    • Thank you! But trusting my gut will be hard.. after everything I went through. . Its even hard to trust yourself.

      But yes, ill follow my heart and hopefully it leads me to a good place. :)

What Guys Said 5

  • it depends what there other interests are , I mean if they like going to gym , why would age of girl they were working out with matter? a lot of activities aren't really focused on age more common interest. but obvivously most older guys are going to want to find a girl they can have sex with at some point in the relationship

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    • Obviously all man kind, eventually would want to sleep with the woman even if it is just a fantasy.

  • If you're open to dating u in a long -term-potential way AND sex... Yes there are plenty of guys that are willing to do that.

    if you're looking for platonic short term dating, or platonic long term dating... u will have a very very VERY hard time finding a guy that much older than u (or any guy at all) to abide to such an arrangement.

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    • What am supposed to do then? I would like to get married someday... preferably before my son goes to first grade...

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    • That is kind of what you said.. I didn't say that. I just think a real relationship isn't all about the sex

    • It's not ALL about sex... but it is a piece of the relationship pie

      Just a piece... not the main objective.

  • Big age gaps prevent a relationship to go further into something serious. I myself have admitted here that Im into older woman but I don't imagine something serious with them. I want just the company and sex.

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    • I always found it weird the other way around. I dont see why a young guy would want an older woman.. and I'm not being hypocritical. I just see it in a different way when a woman is interested in an older man. Only because we are not created equal. I think a woman should grow with the man who is older. But I am speaking relationship wise not sex.

      What floats your boat is fine with me.

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    • Oh no it doesn't because of that, believe me. Im a very faithful guy I can promise that to every woman and Im in a search for a serious relationship. But its not my fault if the girl is always into fuck buddies and nothing else (for instance).
      Where I would say its my fault is that I can't be long enough with a girl with whom I don't share same interests and hobbies so I can spend much time together. Thats something else.

    • I didn't know girls my age want fuck buddies

  • They might be interested in dating. But the sex would be great, too.

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  • yes that's fine you can't help who you feel in love with. I have dated much much younger then myself

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    • Thanks. Im not in love at the moment. . Maybe you didn't mean it literally but I have a tendency to get things literally

    • I was just genuinely say I don't see a problem with it in general. Don't worry about.

What Girls Said 3

  • Yeah, in my experience I've had many older men be interested in me romantically. Depends more on your connection than the age in my opinion.

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  • Just ask him what he wants out of your relationship x_x I know u look at my age and I may not be helpful. But I do know honesty is always just best :)

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    • I am not talking about a specific man. It is a general question. Also I am not judging you. Sometimes people at 16 can be more mature than at 30.

  • It could be possible.

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