Is there a way to ask for mor attention without sounding too clingy and obssesive?

Helloo ok so I have a bit of a dilemma that is eating me from the inside... So um I have a boyfriend and we've been dating for a while and well I really like him and last year things seemed to be going great and he was being nice and sweet and whatever I mean it was middle school there's not to much u can do to be affectionate and stuff but anywaysssss once high school started, he just pushed me to the side pretty much. He may not have noticed but I have and a few of my friends have pointed it out to me also. He's been busy with footba and he hangs out with his friends a bunch WHICH IS TOYALLY OKAY and I don't want to sound like some clingy obsessive girlfriend who doesn't want their boyfriend to have any life outside of her which is also why I don't want to bring my problems to him. I know I shld talk to him and be like "hey um I kind of want you to spend some time with me..." But I have no idea how to tell him that without sounding obsessive and clingy. He also hangs out with bunch of girls who are just his friends and I know that but it still seems weird to me. I just need to know how to casually bring up my concerns with him while sounding sane and not desperate even thought that's kind of what I am at this point because its been going on for a while. It doesn't sound like that big of a problem while typing this but it just is to me. Please help me know how to tell him what I'm feeling I know I sound kind of crazy but trust me I'm sane most of the time lol. Thanks


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you're more concerned about his feelings than your own. If you feel he isn't spending enough time with you then you should just tell him up front because you're the one feeling bad about it not him. If he's a decent person then he should be able to take that information and be able to discuss it maturely without being all "Ughhh your suffocating me". And if he really treasures the time spent with you he should be able to gladly put you before these other female friends of his. Of course if he's actually busy then let him be and make every second with him count but otherwise you should definitely ask him to put more effort into the relationship.

    And trust me you're NOT desperate nor clingy for feeling this way and wanting a better relationship. My girlfriend, in the beginning of the relationship, was a huge introvert that put alone time first and her social life second. Pretty much what I did is that I had enough and spent like 2 hours sending a huge Facebook message at 12:00 am. On like 4 other separate occasions I did the exact same thing about different issues and every time we became better as a couple and better as individuals. Hopefully you two can work something out in a successful way as well.

    Best of luck!

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What Guys Said 1

  • First thing is to make sure you look out for you. If you feel like he has been pushy, you should mention it to him and tell him you don't like it. You don't have to be confrontational about it. But you should be assertive. If your friends noticed it too, it's not just you. If you don't tell him, he won't know any better, and he will just continue to do it. The other thing, it is definitely ok to ask him to spend more time with you. It's not clingy, or pushy. One thing that helps is having a date night. Clearly you like quality time, and that is how you prefer to show affection. If you tell him, he will know. And he will chose to, or not to. Best of luck.

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