How to get past things about potential partners that you really don't like?

Most people have to deal with things they wish were different in their partners. Maybe you wish she was thinner or he wasn't so much older. Maybe she's not as well read as you'd like or he isn't that funny.

Life isn't a buffet. But it's rare to hear really good advice about how to look past things you really wish you could get in a partner, but have to give up in exchange for other traits.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I just do these like worst case scenario projections and try to see if I still like the person after attempting to paint them in the worst light possible. I know it sounds mean, but it works.

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    • How often do you end up liking them anyway?

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    • Also you can't really change others behavior.

    • This probably sounded totally crummy for me to say but really it's like you just think what's the worst that could happen, then weigh it against the reality you've seen, felt and experienced to see if your concerns are realistic and if the person is still worth it to you.

What Guys Said 1

  • you can look past some things but not all things. some things you can compromise, but ultimately you still HAVE to feel a good deal of love or at least interest in a person. life isn't a buffet but you can't just expect to look past things you don't like if there isn't enough foundation of things you do like to perhaps overcome the things you don't.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I kind of feel like if you can't look past the negative things in your partner than you probably won't be able to appreciate the good things in your partner

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