Guys: is it weird when you go on a first date and she wants to pay for herself?

I'm really curious about this because I'm one of those girls that doesn't want a guy buying me dinner and such on the first couple dates. I'd rather go dutch until we get to know each other more and then we could take turns paying. Is that weird though to a guy? It's not about being independent or anything like that; to me, it's simply that I don't want someone I barely know paying for me and such. How would you tell a guy this on a first date?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To me thats great, that a women or men likes to pay thier way. Why should the guy or girl pay for the date. At end of the day, its only a date and having fun, that means getting know each other, before getting into a relationship.

    I agree with the fact, men should ask the women out. But not paying for everything for her or him paying for everything, in terms of dates etc. Women in the west can get better jobs, and still have the potential to get better jobs then men. I think feminism is great, because women still get treated unfairly in other parts of the world.

    I am not saying all women do that, expect men to pay for everything. In fact there are some very kind women out there that pay for everything for a man. I know that for a fact. Some men take advantage of those nice ladies out there.

    Its just a shame, relationships or getting into relationships, is about who pays. They should both pay. love shouldn't be based on who pays.

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What Guys Said 10

  • I don't mind at all... I will always offer to pay when going on a date. But if she says she prefers to pay her part or split 50/50 i'd be happy to :) It shows she's independant and a strong woman.

    Maybe for a moment i'd wonder that maybe she does it because she doesn't want to "owe" me anything. But if i notice it fits her character than I'm cool as hell with it. Great even :D more money for more dates!

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  • i'm not fond of dating but if she pays that's fine with me hahaha free dinner at a shitty restaurant... why shall i pay since i dislike eating at restauants as well? :P

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  • "Let's go Dutch" would have been music to my ears!

    I never turned the "who's going to pay" question into something like the Washington Naval Treaty. I always offer to pay, but if a woman offers to pay or split the bill, she will get no argument from me. By the way, if the guy makes an issue out of it, he might be sparing you some trouble. Do you really want to date a guy who makes an issue out of that? If the answer is no, you then know not to go out with him a second time.

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  • I'd insist politely that I'd pay. It's a chivalry thing. But if she really wanted to I'd let her pay. Then buy her flowers after that

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  • No I think that's cool. I'm not very traditional when it comes to dating and relationships.

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  • I'd be slightly concerned it's a shit test, to see if I let her do it or if I insist.

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  • I think its weird, he is to pay.

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  • That's perfect. If a girl expected me to pay for her I would never see her again

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  • Girls don't understand that what is supposed to happen is that she should be at least offering to pay for it, but the guys ALWAYS pays. If she pays, I would find it VERY disrespectful but I would find it even more disrespectful if she doesn't at least offer. It shows she's willing and has the ability to (making money herself)

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    • I'm not saying he couldn't ever pay, but the first date or two I would like to go dutch. Why's that bad?

    • It just is

  • I wouldn't let her pay at all. I would be so offered if she did this.

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