Why did this guy come on too strong but then broke up with me?

We dated for 4 months. He was chasing me the entire time. He mostly initiated contact , talked about meeting his family and my family, talked about us moving in. It seemed strange to me at first because weve only met about 15 times and saying all those things is too soon, Then he broke up with me after i invited him to my aunts birthday. He said he doesn't feel the spark anymore. How could someone suddenly change their mind. Was him coming on ao strong inthe beginning a red flag?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I hate to say this, but it sounds like you might have been a rebound. You said he misses his ex and 8 years is a long time to be with someone, he might have been coming on strong to convince himself that he could move on and isn't still hung up on his ex. Although he spoke about the future with you, actions speak louder than works and when you invited him to a family event it might have been too much for him if he wasn't really ready.

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    • thank you for your feedback! I feel the same way! Even though thy broke up about 3 years ago the relationship was long and I think it's hard to get over an 8 year relationship in just 3 years...

What Guys Said 8

  • He has "infatuation" issues. These people usually come on strong and bail just as quickly as things built up. The moving in stuff was your warning sign of this along with other things I'm sure.

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  • Some people can mix up the feelings of lust and love... and our judgement is clouded in those circumstances. When your brain is filled with endorphins you can definitely believe that the feeling will last forever.

    So it's not as much as he's changing his mind, but rather that it was never in the stable sort of affection in the first place. Four months is about the right timing for that, anyway... so as far as I'm concerned the first three-four months don't really count as a long time.

    Your instincts were correct about him saying stuff too soon!

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  • I have seen this post before... really? again?

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  • He was just in it for the chase
    Is he a Scorpio? We tend to do that a lot
    Warnings of Scorpios is just because they chase u doesn't mean its real

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  • Sounds like it was getting too serious for him too quickly and saw that, so he backed out

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  • I dont think it was the coming on to strong part, maybe he was afraid of commitment

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  • Because you can't speak English.

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  • Yea, I believe you were a rebound. He is still reeling from 8 years... its hard to start again after that to he is just continuing with you instead of starting over again thats why he was talking about all those future things. May be the fact that you were hesitant (which is normal) threw him off and he realized you won't just jump in 8 years deep with him.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Even if a girl lets a guy chase them and follow the dating rules or whatever you want to call it, it does not mean that the girl will always end up with the guy in the end. It's hard to keep a man's attention and my guess is someone else caught his attention enough for him to stop communicating with you
    But it happens

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  • maybe you didn't seem as into the relationship as him?

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