What do you describe as incompatibility in a relationship?

I asked a previous question, what is the lack of chemistry in a relationship that has compatibility. So now, I ask the reverse, if a relationship has chemistry, how exactly can it be incompatible?

Specifically, what does it feel like, what problems are there? If chemistry is that good, can't incompatibility be overpowered through the power of being deeply in love with one another?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Having chemistry means you feel a strong connection with someone. Compatibly is about how the both of you view life, goals, and experiences. What we call chemistry will die down over time not saying you won't feel connected its just that sparks don't always fly which is compatibility is very important its what makes relationships works. Chemistry alone will not keep a relationship going.

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    • The thing is, whenever I feel a strong connection with someone, it's mainly because I can relate to them. But then again, thinking further it seems like it's a very superficial level of connection, this chemistry. Like simple, trivial topics are easily agreeable, and of course the sexual tension ramps it up even higher. Sparks flying and all that. But deep philosophical stuff fails totally. Maybe that's incompatibility?

    • If that is something really important to you that you want for long-term relationships then that may make you incompatible a long with other things that could be conflicting

    • Thanks for the MH :)

What Girls Said 3

  • If you have chemistry, being incompatible doesn't matter so much. Being compatible with no chemistry is boring and will fizzle out.

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    • I don't really agree with you that it doesn't matter so much. Perhaps some things we can say we don't really care that much, we just let the argument slide or we relent. But serious issues that we care about? If we can't agree it's always gonna be a fight.

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    • I don't think so. Not everyone enjoys fighting. People should agree to disagree. My ex and I had chemistry, but weren't too compatible. We rarely fought though. The reason for the split was that we got together at the age of 16 and he realized that he missed out on being single, partying, etc. I realized the same, but my bed was already made and am the type of person to see it through. I don't walk out on my obligations. Our kids come before what I want. To each his own. I think he realized what he did, but it's too late as far as I am concerned. I do believe in second chances, but too much happened and he did get another girl pregnant. Anyway, when two people come to the point in their lives where they have learned to actually be an adult and understand that fighting solves nothing, things run much more smoothly. I guess that comes from life experiences though. Not everyone understands that.

    • Yea, that's pretty incompatible. You seem to be very responsible whereas he just wants not to be burdened regardless of the seriousness of the situation. That is also what I believe a huge aspect of incompatibility is about.

  • By both just having nothing in common and having lustful feelings for each other.

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    • Chemistry isn't only just physical desire. I found an article that describes it also as "finding that you never run out of things to say, and time flies by when you're with your partner".

    • Well then having chemistry but lacking compatibility would be near impossible. If you can get along together and talk easily, then you must have some values or views in common.

    • Yea that's what I thought too lol.

  • He doesn't do as I say... => incompatible

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    • So kinda like him being stubborn to change and you being stubborn to insist?

    • yesyes, 2 stubborn make no right.. too stubborn neither

What Guys Said 1

  • There's no such thing as incompatibility, just people who aren't willing to make it work. Plenty of people in other countries enter into arranged marriages with total strangers, and don't divorce.

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    • Just because it's an arranged marriage, doesn't mean it's completely incompatible. But that is a valid point still.

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