How do I return the favor of him buying lots of gifts and paying for everything we do?

I've been dating this guy for a few months and he literally pays for everything. I don't think of it as a bad thing, I'm just not use to it. He's about 5 years older than me. The sweetest and kindest guy I've met. We're both pretty outgoing so we go out a lot. He pays for everything we do. I'll get random things in the mail from him that he bought me. Don't get me wrong it's super sweet and I love it. I'm just use to guy paying for the first few dates then I offer. Like take turns. This guy won't even let me buy my own damn tampons. (Literally ran to the check out to pay for them when I was about to pay for it). I almost feel bad that he pays for everything but I know he'd never let me buy anything. Guys what can I do to at least return the favor letting him know I'm appreciate everything. Girls has this happened to you? Do you just accept it without a care?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He likes it because it makes him feel needed and like a man. Money is something that guys judge other guys based on so a guy that has lots of money and is able to buy a girl anything she wants is seen as a real man by us and we envy these kinds of guys (although at the point where he runs across the store to buy you tampons is a little bit crazy) subconciously, this also gives him control over the person that he spoils so he likes it because it makes him feel like a man with power and domination. You can return the favour, in ways that aren't sex, by going out of your way to cater to him and treat HIM like a king. You can cook him meals and snacks all the time, offer to give him back massages whenever, put his needs ahead of your own in whatever ways possible (this can be through doing activities that he likes frequently instead of ones that you really like). Let him dominate you and feel like he is a boss. Do this because you want to though and realize that he gets as much out of spoiling you, as you get out of the deal, through you making him feel like he is in control, needed and an alpha male. He takes pride in being able to do this.

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    • That actually makes a lot of sense. I'll definitely keeps your tips in mind! Thank you!!

What Guys Said 4

  • why he pays your on things? that's wrong!!!

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  • Tell him "I really appreciate you taking care of me as much as you do. And I would love it if you'd let me take care of you this time. I'll pay for this one
    : )" Pull out your wallet first. Have it ready.

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    • But yea, a guy paying for absolutely everything sets a tone for the relationship that might not be the best thing for you too. He might eventually feel like "why doesn't she pay/offer sometime?". I'm not saying he will, but that can happen. If you say it in a way, that makes him feel ok with you paying, it will take you guys a long way

  • welll maybe by showing some love? he might be more than happy to know that you like him or love him

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  • maybe try not telling him, try by showing him.

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