How do you let a sweet guy down?

I met this guy about a month ago (lets call him mike), we only hung out a few times but on account of my busy schedule... he is just a really great guy and we got along very well. BUT, I was also seeing another guy casually who I adore and just recently became more serious with, causing me to back away from ALL other suitors. I really don't want to hurt "mikes" feelings, but being unavailable constantly to him is not working. Today i just got a beautiful edible arrangement from him. and i really need help in finding the best way to let him know im just not interested other than just saying I'M NOT INTERESTED. any ideas?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Mike, I really had a good time with you, but I feel that your work schedule makes it hard for us to be together. In addition, there is another guy who I feel I'm more compatible with. Thanks for all the good times, and the edible arrangement. I understand if you don't want to continue with a friendship, but would like to still talk if you're open to it"

    (the last part only if it's the truth)

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    • I really appreciate your advice and this was most helpful. one mire question, do you think it would be inappropriate or disrespectful to text a message like this?
      In this day and age text seems to be the most preferred method of communication, but in this case im not sure..

    • Do the right thing and at least call. He did buy you a fruit arrangement

What Guys Said 7

  • Tell Mike you are getting serious with another guy and you want to not date other guys to see if it leads to something lasting. That is not about Mike, it's about the other guy and you, so Mike's going to be disappointed but not dejected. Heck, Mike might decide he can compete, and really step up and challenge your decision. But seriously, Mike's feelings are NOT your responsibility. Let him be a man and deal with those things on his own. Just be straight.

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  • First off, take your time to thank god that you have multiple dating options, that is a privilege that not all women (or men) have. Freedom of choice is incredibly valuable to find your best fit, and not everyone fits the criteria to have this freedom.

    Secondly, you have to be blunt about it, no nonsense, no dancing around the point. Say "Listen Mike, I like you and value your presence in my life, but I cannot be in a relationship with you because I am not single." If he asks you questions, be honest, be blunt, no excuses, no nonsense.

    Here is a key principle, never shut a door in a man's face without showing him the path to another door. If he has ONEitis, that is his problem. If he doesn't (a healthy man shouldn't), introduce him to your single friends and give him the opportunity to find companionship somewhere else. The best end result is that you end up happy, & Mike ends up happy, and the two of you remain acquainted.

    Maybe I'm wrong, but I think the best scenario is the one where everyone ends up fulfilled.

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  • I'm actually in this situation now well the end of it... Girl thought I was amazing to the point she even cooked for me... As time went by she was distancing herself and canceling plans... She had a guy she was seeing and they decided to take it seriously... The problem is she never told me about him... Until I confronted her about her behavior... Had she told me before I wouldn't have invested time on her...

    You need to tell him, what your doing is leading him on... It's a huge turn off to me bc I'm attracted to strong women and being afraid to tell him and just trying to give hints shows weakness and kills trust...

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  • Ok get him naked at your place baiting him with sex then kick his ass out I guarantee that he'll gown down

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  • Either say you're not interested or just ignore him.

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  • You're going to hurt him a lot more than ripping the band-aid.. Guys will (even if they get mad) respect you more and maybe even end up being your friend if you're able to just point blank tell them the situation "its not you its me" doesn't work either.

    Just be honest. The girls I could never talk to ever again nor care about that have come in and out of my life are the ones that dragged it out and used you until they were finally ready to drop me. I have zero respect for people like that.

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  • Be up front so he can realize being sweet will get him no where

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    • that's definitely not the message i want to give him. timing is impeccable and unfortunately our timing was bad. but being upfront is a for sure thing. thanks

    • If you want to help him you will make him realize that

What Girls Said 0

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