I've come to realization that the culture I live in over on the westcoast runs something like this for relationship development...
Meet girl/guy, go on 1-3 dates, hookup... stay this way for several months dating/hooking up... then decide to break it off or be exclusive.
Is that how it is for most people? Is that a bad way to go about relationships?
I grew up with the mentality that you didn't have sex until you were seriously committed... but I am finding that no one here really goes by that anymore. Am I right?
- Yes, that's wrong30% (3)40% (4)35% (7)Vote
- No, that's not wrong60% (6)40% (4)50% (10)Vote
- Most people won't commit until sex is had so you should go for it10% (1)20% (2)15% (3)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
I've been thinking about this too. It's not wrong exactly... but it puts you in a conundrum in some ways, if it's true that a lot of guys have issues with how many partners their girlfriend/wife has had (and yet at the same time tend to expect sex early o. O). There's no way to keep a low number of sexual partners and go about relationships via hooking up first and then commitment. Unless you luck out within the first couple people you go out with.
Of course, you could always be in a relationship with a guy who doesn't care about how many people you've slept with, but from what I've seen, those guys are also often not the type to enter serious commitments in the first place. Not all of them, but it's a running theme.
There's also just not telling guys how many others you've been with, or lying about it, but obviously it's not ideal to have a relationship built on dishonesty.
So think about what you want, what you're comfortable with, and what the guys you want are looking for, and come up with how you're going to navigate through this mess. It's really important to think about what you're doing and create some boundaries and structure, or you'll find yourself lost and making decisions you regret.2
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