How do I become a player?

I'm pretty much a pushover most of the time. People at school try to give me shit but I brush it off but a select few do it seriously because I'm 'an easy target'. How do I become a smooth talker, confident with girls and change my reputation from guy who doesn't get any girls and is considered a failure to a guy who gets with girls and is successful with both women and life?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • To me it sounds like you just want to become more confident, and not necessarily a player. Players are stupid. Being confident =/= being a player.
    If you want to become more confident, you have to push your own boundaries a little. To quit being a pushover, simply put your foot down when you've had enough. Don't be afraid of speaking your mind. If you like a girl, go up to her and talk to her. Don't overthink things or make them too complicated for yourself. And lastly, DON'T HURT ANYONE'S FEELINGS ON PURPOSE. Seriously. That's like the thing that everyone hates about players the most. If you want to feel more accepted, hurting people is not the way to go. If anything, hurting people on purpose will only make you an outcast, because nobody likes anyone who goes out of their way to play with other people's feelings. At that point, you won't have anyone else to turn to except for maybe some other players (who are, by the way, douchebags. They don't really make good friends). In the end, being a player is less fruitful than being honest and good. You might get some momentary satisfaction out of it, but if you're looking for something that lasts longer than that, then being a player is not the way to go.

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What Girls Said 9

  • hmm... are u a nice person with morals, values and respect?

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    • At the moment you could say that

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    • Basically OP, from @JustBanANNAz... you need to act fake. You need to act like you're something new, something "good" ... although this is terrible advice because girls will see right through your disguise.

    • thats basically what i was getting at. @the_fugly_truth

  • I'm not going to tell you because it is wrong to con others. Since you are asking this question here, i assume you have no understanding of what women feel or think or even to be in their shoes. Tough. There is no exact manual on how to persuade a woman to like you except sex.

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  • The only way is to become a heartless asshole. But please don't do that. With age and maturity u will get wiser and tougher but don't toughen yourself so much u don't have a heart anymore

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  • Step 1: Punch yourself in the face, like twice
    Step 2: Eat an entire ghost pepper.
    Step 3. Swallow a thumb tack (report results.)
    Step 4: Don't. Don't become a player, and don't do any of the above.

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  • don't suggest you to be a player be who you are. You are still too young. Players may get many girls but much of them don't last long or are girls not worth it. Players don't now what is love , i suggest you wait you'll grow up and get the girl or girls that are really worth it and not relationships that suck.

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  • Depends on what type of girls you want to attract, if you have to become someone else to be with someone, how can they like ' you' , i can't advise you on how to become someone your not, coz im not any good at giving acting lessons

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  • Just been an annoying douchbag then ur there

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  • let's see learn how to manipulate girls insecurities and you're in like sin

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  • you'll want to be a player now, but when it comes to finding true love - you're not going to find it.

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What Guys Said 12

  • First piece of advice is to not listen to women on this or ask them for advice on dating because they're clueless. It's like a man trying to give advice on pregnancy.

    Second piece of advice - stop giving a shit what people think of you, especially women. This is the difference between a "nice guy" and a "bad boy". Nice guys are people pleasers, they care too much about being liked so they censor everything for fear of offending people, especially girls they like - they have no balls. A "bad boy" doesn't give a shit, he just says what he wants and if it offends anybody, too bad.

    I always laugh at these questions where guys are like "do you think she likes me? What should I do?". Just ask her out for fuck sake, stop being a pussy. She might say yes, or she might say no, or she might tell you to go fuck yourself, but if you don't ask you don't get. Women also tend to prefer a man who can take charge as well.

    There was a time when I wasn't at all interested in a serious relationship, I just wanted to fuck. I'm not a liar, I would never lie my way into a girl's pants, and I don't treat girls like shit. So right off the bat I'd tell them what I was looking for. And for that I got called every name under the Sun by some - then with others it made things a lot easier, they'd have sex with me the first time they met me because they wanted the same thing.

    I'm not saying you should do that because you're under 18, but my point is that all of those rejections rolled off like water off a duck's back. In fact most I just LOLed at. So don't be afraid to ask girls out.

    To get more girls into you just make sure you dress well and get in shape. The large majority of women like masculine men - develop a masculine appearance, don't be a metrosexual girly-man.

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    • Damm that's probably one the best comments i have herd on here because so many guy's come on here talking about how girls aren't interested and all that stuff and people don't usually give them constructive criticism but sometimes just plain criticism.

    • @arthurred - haha I know, I got some guy trying to tell me that going to strip clubs and paying to get horny and frustrated is better than going to a club and actually getting laid because apparently the girls will probably stalk me and follow me round afterwards (never happened). Guys on here are so weird

  • Look coming from a guy who's had QUALITY WOMEN over quantity of women I can tell you that it isn't about being a smooth talker or being confident. those things are a result of who you are. first you need to accept yourself, love who you are and love every single aspect of you. if you don't have self respect & self love then how do you expect women to love & respect you?

    second, you need to respect women, talk to women as though they are human beings. you need to find girls that you can love, listen to, & understand their feelings. so I suggest you find out what you want and don't want & have in common with girls.

    third, when she talks hold her eye contact & LISTEN to what she says. if you can't listen then keep looking her in the eyes and just imagine what she looks like naked. and when she talks just nod your head. hahaha

    fourth, be a gentleman and when she talks instead of thinking SHIT! what do I say next? you should be thinking 2 things. 1. what is she saying? and 2. (Most important) how does she feel about what she's talking about? does it make her happy? is she excited?

    Fifth, if you can do all this with sincerity in your heart, trust me when I tell you if you make the emotional connection with women they will make the physical for you. I've had women rip my clothes off behind doors & do all sorts of things to me just because I cared & listened.

    WHAT DO YOU GIRLS THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID? Let's help @guitarplayer2014

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    • very in depth answer, i like it

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    • how is it good to be bullied? not that i am because it's more of a few people who talk shit.

    • Thank you girls. well first off if you're getting bullied it shows that people see you as different & too stand out to be normal. which is good because you want to be you as much as possible. second, everyone KNOWS that it's important to treat others with respect but so few people do it and even fewer people do it with joy. I know what's it's like to be bullied & treated badly & it hurts. but thanks to being bullied I know how to treat people & talk to people.

  • Things are helping you out:

    1. White
    2. Teenager - your actions can be excused
    3. Good looking
    4. You play an instrument

    Things you need to work on

    1. Physique - you got to lift
    2. Hair cut
    3. pushover
    4. lack of confidence
    5. reputation

    Your reputation in that school has already been solidified. You'll need to change schools in order to obtain a new take on life as a player player.

    Tips on how to become a player

    1. Become an Alpha Male

    - get deezed - you got to lift weights and be more aesthetically pleasing to the ladies.
    - confidence - you got to practice, practice, practice talking to strangers. Begin by talking to random males, then move your way up to talking to beta females (ugly, overweight etc.), then graduate to talking to alpha females (popular, hotties, blondes). I would recommend you drink a little but you're too young.
    - Not care what others think - you wanna wear a tank top outside, you wear it. You want to wear sunglasses inside, do it. Once you stop caring what others think of you, it'll radiate to women subconsciously.

    2. Remain Emotionless

    - You can't get caught up with the emotional connections that is usually associated with being in a relationship; avoid at all costs
    - Have multiple women in order to keep your emotions in check.

    3. Multiple Phones and different names

    - Never give out your real name to a potential target
    - Keep phones separated in terms of business, pleasure, and family.

    4. Get a ride or at least access to one

    -You need to put up a facade of being wealthy, successful etc; there's nothing that turns a teenage girl on than a teenage boy that has a car. no pedo.

    there maybe more, but I'll have to think it out.

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    • Don't ever ask, am I attractive on GaG or in real life.

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    • As to the aspect of reputation : At school, it is your reputation that determines whether or not you have a girlfriend. Tokana is 100% right when he says you will have a hard time if your reputation has already solidified, but after graduation this whole reputation / popularity thing will be of no significance. So, chances are, there's nothing wrong with you personally, it's other who try to make you think you're a "loser" , keep you head up !

    • i don't think it's been solidified, i just need the confidence. i have the mindset of a winner but not the confidence

  • you're already a playe don't you? a guitar player XD

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  • its easy, just lie, be a hypocrite, look for bail out plans, act like you are nice at first but show your colors later, etc.

    but i must warn you that there are consequences in being a player. they say "players get played", so be careful

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    • if it happens it happens

  • Ah don't worry about that too much man, at that age everyone is a bit awkward, it's normal. When you get older, things will be very different.

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    • how will they be different?

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    • The more you try and put yourself out there the more you will learn. People that don't try and put themselves out there, unfortunately, will only find it harder because their peers already have a jump start on them.

    • With age can come experience and maturity or can come with disappoiment and heightened sexual frustration you decide based on how much you put yourself out there. Hence, you learn.

  • Don't let your peers make you feel emasculated because you don't live up to their standards as a player, trust me player's are the same guys who will leave kids and be verbally abusive towards their girls would you really give up your honor to be that kind of person?

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    • that's pretty stereotypical

    • I'm not saying all players are like this but do whatever makes you happy.

  • Read David wygants materials and if possible go to his seminar, he will teach you the ways of life.

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  • Love no thotty
    Get money
    give no fucks

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  • You DO NOT want to become a player. I've been there and done that. Fair enough, it helps you with confidence and gives you a better insight in to what women want/their needs/what to do when ectra. What it also does is give you a label, a label all those good ladies (gf/wife material girls) strictly avoid. To me, being a player had more cons than it did pros.

    What you need is to rethink you attitude and outlook. Hold your head high even when your shitting youself and most of all, do not doubt yourself but most importantly, know when your wrong and to back down. Those are all good starts. Easier said than done I know.

    If you have questions or anything, feel free to ask bud :)

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  • This helped me a lot:
    http://30.simplepickup.com/
    It definitely makes you a confident smooth talker.
    Can't stress how much it has helped me.
    I'm not exactly a ladies man, but 100 times better than before. I always have a girl in my life nowadays.
    Definitely will be more helpful at your age. I'm in more of a hurry than you are.

    Please don't go to seminars, learn from people who actually show you in field, not on powerpoint slides.

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    • David Wygant teaches a very hands-on approach that can be adapted to anyone, he teaches you how to be confident, assertive and approach woman on the street. Then he gives you more and more specific tips on how to pick up the ladies and please them.

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    • Trust me, I never used to be good with women so no I wouldn't make those stupid suggestions. I was in the PUA community for years before getting advice from guys who were actually good with women and were very anti-PUA. I then saw it for what it is, a huge scam. Most of the instructors are nowhere near as successful as they claim to be, many are probably worse than the people they teach. It's like the blind leading the blind They all take advantage of desperate, naive, gullible men.

    • @AdamThomas Yes, I know. I hate their seminars, and books and a lot of their ideas. But the advice I've given here is about becoming more social, learning how to talk to girls, and not giving a shit about haters. I'm not being dishonest, or playing any one. I go out and meet girls, and I can get a date every few weeks, which is more than I ever had before. So, I can't not suggest this to people who need it, I speak from experience, this worked for me. I've read a lot of PUA material and I don't suggest those to anyone.

  • alpha male.. look it up

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    • do you have any suggestions for how to get the balls to go from not too good with girls to great?

    • Bro I got this book online no I'm not a troll but a real guy. Called how to get a GF by Steven Nash. It taught me how to be confident around women and how to make them want me and holly shit it worked straight up. I'd just been dumped used this book and got numbers without even asking. I had 2 girls at a shop giving me free alterations on my jacket and them telling me "we don't usually do this" it's all about confidence and words you take control and use leads to engauge them without asking questions and you get them asking you questions. Once they start asking you questions that tells you that they're interested in what you have to say. There are many books like it. That's just the book i got and man. I'm a short guy but I still pick up the girls

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