Okay so I've been friends with this guy for years and he's had a few girlfriends during our friendship. He still flirts with me and says he misses me when he's away at college. He will not date me and says I'm one of his closest friends. I'm starting to think he's not really that good of a friend if he texts me like this and leads me on when he has a girlfriend. And yes we used to have a FWB. Any tips on how to deal/end this vicious cycle? Why is he doing it in the first?
Most Helpful Guy
He has demonstrated that he is not loyal, which is common for guys who sleep around, and/pr take the super easy way out of, "Friends with benefits". If you do not "Catch feelings" for someone when you are in a friends with benefits situation, it means you are a sociopath and have serious mental, and spiritual issues.
There is no such thing as a FWB, which is why you brought it up, you know this.
Sex was designed to forever bond two people together, and yes, part of his soul now belongs to you. And part of your soul also (unfortunately) belongs to him. That's what sex does.
He is male, and has bedded you, so he has known the most intimate part of you. That leaves a lasting impression in his mind, heart, and soul- so getting "rid" of him is not going to be easy. Until he fully understands that you want nothing to do with him, that your heart is closed off to him forever, he will continue to pup back into your life.
When he feels lonely, or rejected, or angry, or horny, he knows he had you once. He believes he can have you again. You will forever be his, "Back up lay". Not even worthy of being called his girlfriend or wife. That's why I say he has taken the easy way out of being a man, and sticking to one woman, and opening himself up to her, to know, and love her.
Not this guy.
And you fell for it...
Tell him you made a mistake, that sex means more to you than that, and that you want him out of your life. Lazy, scared men will run from you when they know you want a commitment and will not compromise.0