I'm an average looking girl dating a very attractive guy, why do I feel so inadequate?

I'm an average girl next door, my boyfriend is an attractive 29 year old business guy who is ivy league educated. We met at a jazz lounge in the city. He caught my eye, but I didn't initially catch his. I went up to him (while tipsy) from the alcohol and had an amazing conversation with him. He was very friendly and I kept telling him how hot he was. I know he was flattered buthe played it off.
Later that night, he gave me his number and I swore I'd never text sone guy that I met at a lounge.
Something tempted me a week later, I shot him a text and from there started meeting up and talking more. The two of us have bounded but I couldn't help but to notice how women throw themselves at him. We met in a coffee shop the first time and the chick at the counter was flirting with him when he tried to order us coffee, next there were a group of girls glaring at him like they've never seen a guy before. You could just imagine the fun I had laughing that he was coming to talk to me and not them.
Fast forward.
After months of us dating, he has confessed to me that he loves me. He tells me that there is something about me that he has never seen in a woman before. We're in the honeymoon phase now, madly in love and lovey dovey. We can't keep our eyes OR hands off of one another. I can't go a day without talking to him, I stay with him every weekend and we can't sleep unless we hear each other on the phone.

I can't lie. I HATE going out with him, whether it be to a party/club or even shopping. He is a neck breaker and I'm afraid that everyone thinking"what is she doing with him?" He doesn't notice, he claims that he doesn't see what others see. I just can't believe that. He is like a Calvin Klein model and every one sees it. I get shaky when he shows affection in public. I don't even hold his hand. I love him, but at the back of my mind I feel inadequate. Why would an attractive guy want to be with an average looking girl like myself?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Fuck, hold his hand at least. You're dating him for Christsake. If he's initiating, you should respond. Unless you don't like the dude. :P

    And yeah, some of those super-hot guys don't notice it.

    Best thing you can do is learn what you do better than his exes, and keep up with that. Make sure you bring your A-game everyday.

    Yes, he's going to have a bunch of temptation shoved at him - all the time. But you need to see if he's actually as naive as he claims. It can be true. Sometimes guys grow right into handsome, and never notice. In which case, he might not be catching all of those flirting signs - guys can be oblivious.

    But yeah, you're going to have to decide if you can live with constant uncertainty and doubt. If you can, you're going to have all that amazing sex, etc.

    I'm telling you to enjoy it. Don't take it for granted, and do what you can to keep it.

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    • Yes you're right. I'm probably being irrational.

    • Things I think other people are 100% correct on:

      @SaltandVinegar is correct. Fuck what other people think. What he thinks (and maybe what your families think) is of the only importance.

      I think you should investigate @chadsten 's point: insecurity is the reason you feel inadequate.

      And, as others have said: You should focus on the fact that he's choosing to be with you (esp. publicly). Doesn't matter where people go window shopping, if they come home to eat.

What Guys Said 7

  • Are you belittling his love for you? Not fully trusting him?

    The answer is obviously insecurity is the reason you feel inadequate.

    Instead of focusing on the doubts and the other girls, try focusing on the moment and the fact that you're with him and he's with you.

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  • You stop right fucking there missy. Don't you ever think you're inadequate. How dare you sell yourself short. You have to assert confidence in yourself! If you don't no one else would. No one would believe in you unless you believe in yourself!

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  • Well I think he loves you more, since he doesn't care what people think... If anything you should feel lucky and proud... Come on you guys are awesome together, he sounds like a great guy and your hopefully a good girl why care what people think? Think as if you were the only two living on earth !!! If you truly love him the way he does, you wouldn't care about anything.

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  • He loves you and you should not second guess his feelings for you. Also, dont worry about what other people think, his opinion is the only one that matters.

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  • He likes you for you. As long as there's a physical attraction for you and your his type it doesn't matter how good looking the person is, compatibility always wins in the end.

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  • I think you're probably more attractive than you give yourself credit for.

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  • I am average looking I feel the same about my ex girlfriend

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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't ruin your chance of happiness! People look but they don't run your life and his

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  • Because he loves you. You should consider yourself lucky--your life is like a tweenie romance novel.

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