Honestly girls, how do you feel about intellectual-type guys?

I always hear girls say they like smart guys, but in reality, it seems like girls tend label smart guys as "nerds." It seems like girls generally prefer to date less intelligent but more outgoing class-clown types.

I'm an engineering student, and I've heard girls on my campus say that they think most guys in my major are lame. There aren't many girls in my major, and the ones who are date guys who aren't in engineering. Is being an engineering student/cerebral guy that big of a turn-off for most girls?

Updates:
Thanks to everyone for the input.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • where i'm from the word and concept "nerd" doesn't exist, mainly because almost everyone is trying to finish their college education and not end up like the 87% uneducated population of the country, so in here smart people in college are the norm, so discrimination concerning intelligence is practically nonexistent

    that said in the states there will always be some discrimination, but not all girls think the same and most jocks and bullies usually end up in mediocre jobs in the future so why bother, just ridicule them when they end up in a convenience store or fast-food restaurant and stay away from them if they end up being cops, there are plenty of girls like myself who would rather be with a guy that has a good future than be with a blockhead with a poor future, though i agree with @MaskofInsanity that some smart people tend to end up being as she mentioned, but i would rather have someone challenge me in debates than talk about stuff that kill my brain cells all day

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    • That's interesting. I do feel like people who are intellectually gifted (as ppposed to the athletically or artistically gifted) are more valued overseas than they are in the United States. In the US, our culture is obsessed with artists and athletes, and women gravitate toward guys who are successful in those fields. Here, guys who do excel in the classroom face negative labels from guys and girls, who see us as uptight even before they get to know us. It's like we can't win. If we excel, we're nerds; if we fail, we're just slackers who have nothing to offer.

      My thing is that I don't need every girl to like me, but I would like to be in consideration with some of them rather than being disqualified for being intellectual. It seems like even intellectual girls want to be with the athletes and artists, so we have nowhere to turn. That's why a part of me wants to appear more like an athlete so I can attract at least some girls before they see my true nature.

    • Thanks, yours was the most helpful opinion.

What Girls Said 20

  • I love down to earth, bright guys.

    The problem with "intellectual guys" is that they tend to be arrogant, close minded and self absorbed. I don't want a guy who feels like he is better than the other "lowly idiots in society" type of thing.

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    • LOL yes, there are quite a few of those guys around. I'd say about half of the guys in my major are like that. Then again, most young guys have some form of know-it-allitis.

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    • When I first answered this question, I thought you were an exception to the stereotype. But looking at how you responded to people you disagree with and talk down to them, its likely you possess the same undesirable qualities as other "intellects".

      Its clear from the likes and answers that a lot of women feel this way. Its probably also a gender thing, as men do tend to be patronizing towards ladies anyway. Our opinions are shaped by our experiences. That is all.

    • Ah, you don't really know me well enough to make any substantive judgments about me. You were a little condescending to me at one point (though you may not have thought so), and I got a bit offended that you were doing exactly what you accuse intellectual guys of doing.

      So you're on a bit of a high horse. I've come to realize from this thread that there are a lot of girls like you who carry a lot of prejudices against guys like me. You dislike who we are at a fundamental level, and that's fine, that's your right. But it's also reinforced to me my need to seek out women who aren't fundamentally biased against any guy who has ideas beyond what to eat for dinner and who isn't afraid to express them.

      If I were a woman writing these things, you'd likely be patting me on the back and telling me that I shouldn't worry about men who can't handle strong, smart women. Total double standard.

  • I love nerds. My fiancĂ© is really into music and space and a bunch of things that I know little about. I love listening to him ramble on about things. Makes me feel smarter by listening to him.

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  • I honestly love intelligent men. I lovethe idea of having a decent conversation and most of them are tolerant if others' beliefs so that's definitely a plus. But, I like it when they're not snobbish about it. I like decent guys whom I can have a conversation with who can joke around, challenge me intellectually, and are humble.

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  • no, my boyfriends a plastics engineer and a huge nerd but he has a nice funny personality as well when he's comfortable around someone.

    i like intellectual guys a lot but the problem with a lot (not all) is that they look down on others who aren't as smart as they are

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    • Maybe the "looking down their nose at society" thing is more common at schools like MIT that are comprised of the genius-level people, but I don't think many guys in my major at my school are like that. I think we're more likely to be the guys who envy the guys who get the girls we wish we were dating.

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    • probably, im not one of those who goes for arrogance, muscles or 'alphaness' so i couldnt really say if they mistake one for the other or just pick based on some other trait those guys display but i guess at least athletic guys couldnt make a girl feel really stupid whereas extremely smart guys can when theyre acting arrogant.

    • I think what happens is that when intellectual guys try to show off their intelligence to girls, it just comes across as condescending and smarmy. In reality, though, all the guy was trying to do was impress the girl. When athletes show off it comes across to girls as hot. When intellectual guys do it, it just seems lame.

  • nope! i would prefer a balance, i think intelligent guys are hot but you can't be an uptight only about learning type of guy, you got be easy going and have some humour swell as intelligence, because in the end is somebody who's just funny going to have any ambition or get you anywhere in life? No.

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  • Of course not all girls are going to think the same. I rather be with a guy who knows what he's going to do with his future and does something about it than a guy that knows that he's going to be flipping burgers at McDonald's at 30. As long as they don't try to compete with me in who's smarter or not or insult my intelligence ( some guys that I would talk to acted this way) than im okay.

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  • i'm a nerd and i like nerds. the intellectual type is very appealing to me.

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    • Thanks, it good to hear that it's not a turn-off to all women.

  • i LOVE them

    simply bcaause i love a guy who can actually have a meaningful convo with me and can impress me ;)
    nrds, geeks, intellectuals... whatever you wanna call them

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  • all the "intellectual" guys i've met so far were extremely arrogant, and thinking they were always right. it felt like they don't even listen to whatever i'm saying or whenever i'm telling them my opinions on things. it's all about me, me, me. also quiet boring, always trying to show off their knowledge.

    i like smart guys, those who keep it to themselves

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    • Imagine if a guy posted that he liked smart women, but only those who play dumb because overt displays of their intelligence offended the guy. Doubt that would go over big.

  • I like smart guys. I just don't like know it all smart guys. In other words, I don't mind you teaching me new things, because I love to learn. However, I don't like guys who purposely try to make me feel like an idiot and are always correcting me.

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    • I can understand that. I think some guys get carried away in their desire to always be right, and that just makes it tiresome to interact with them.

    • Yes indeed. I wonder will they ever learn that it repells people in general

  • um guys like that tend to be kinda boring, dry and full of themselves

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    • This comment was a little boring and dry as well.

    • @asker U ask for honest opinions and when u get one u go all hostile because you can't handle negative feedback. Perhaps that's why girls don't like you, because you think you are so much smarter and better and deserve only the best of the best while you can't see your own flaws or handle critcism.

    • @board hahaha pull the panties out of your crack, son. You're a lot more upset about this than I ever was.

  • I find intelligent guys "nerds" very attractive.
    Know it all guys are completely annoying.

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  • A lot of guys who are at my trade school who are in engineering are pretty hot so i don't have a problem with it.

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  • that depends. I've met some dorky engineers and some really cool ones. Do you dress well? do you know how to dance? do you talk about different and cool subjects? All of this counts

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    • Yes, I love to talk about a variety of subjects. Most engineering students aren't the pocket-protector-and-plaid-shirt dorks that people think we are. That said, I don't dress like an A&F model, either. I'm pretty low-key, like t-shirt and jeans with either vintage Adidas or boots.

  • I like nerdy smart guys but most tend to be very critical and judgmental
    Which would be hard because i would just argue with him all the time. I think if i were to date a guy who is a genius he would have to have two personalitys thats playful as well

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    • I don't think most people are one-trick ponies. Most people have various facets to their personalities. Think about cerebral girls. Imagine if guys were on GAG posting that highly cerebral women were undesirable in any way. Women would be howling that those guys were weak because they couldn't handle a strong woman, and no one would be assuming that these girls were one dimensional on spec. Feels like a bit of a double standard.

  • It's cool as long as they're not trying to be Mr. Know It All

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  • It depends, if someone is arrogant, better not spend energy on that.

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  • Okay, so a few things:
    1. There are many different forms of intelligence, i. e) emotional intelligence etc
    So when women say they like intelligent men, their definition of intelligence may vary.
    2. In much the same vain, if a woman herself is not super smart, then her definition (or scale) of intelligence will be different from your definition of it.
    So 2 things to consider.

    But most importantly:
    3. Whether or not you choose to date someone, depends on a lot more than just intelligence. Attraction is hugely important, as is being able to have an interesting conversation. And if you notice, girls also say a lot of other things about their ideal guy: that he can make them laugh, that he's loyal and passionate. It's a package deal, and never just one thing.

    Honestly the thing i don't understand about self defined "intelligent guys" is how they don't get this?

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    • Like many girls, you've taken a statement a guy has made about himself and cooked up this whole scenario in which the guy is a one-dimensional robot who has nothing to offer humanity and no awareness of life. I'm starting to realize that girls judge guys more harshly and with far less insight into how we operate than I ever previously imagined.

    • "I always hear girls say they like smart guys, but in reality, it seems like girls tend label smart guys as "nerds." It seems like girls generally prefer to date less intelligent but more outgoing class-clown types."
      Like many guys, you've taken a statement a girl has made about herself and cooked up this whole scenario in which the girl is a one-dimensional robot who has nothing to offer humanity and no awareness of life. I'm starting to realize that guys judge girls more harshly and with far less insight into how we operate than I ever previously imagined.

    • Very insightful.

  • Intelligence is extremely attractive. That doesn't mean girls swoon over every smart guy. Nerds aren't labelled nerds because they're smart. It's usually because of their interests (comics, video games.)
    Those guys *a lot of the time, but not all the time* are socially awkward and don't put any effort into their appearance. i. e, dress odd and don't work out, and are consequently super skinny/overweight/or generally out of shape. Girls like guys who can talk to them easily and make them laugh who take really good care of themselves, it's just a fact of life... most guys like girls that can talk to them easily and who laugh at their jokes and take really good care of themselves. It's a people thing, not a gender thing. :)

    So these nerds that don't have girlfriends, aren't single because girls see an intelligent guy and go "ew he's intelligent... ew."

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    • Personally I'm ridiculously attracted to a "nerd" who is super smart. He is into comics and anime and card games, etc etc. SUPER studious, top of the class. I find his intelligence attractive. And because I like him as a person I find his interests cute even if I have no interest in them. he's also really athletic and in shape and that's a huge bonus that you usually don't get with nerdy type guys (but just a bonus, not the reason I like him.)

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    • Ah, I'm not just basing that on personal rejection, but whatever. I know there's heartbreak on both sides of the gender divide, but what I'm saying is that guys are more accepting of girls *on average.* there are biological reasons for this I know, but the implication is that girls get more interest and can thus be more discriminating. So girls might only have accepted a guy who met 85% of her basic desires, whereas guys will usually date any girl who gets near 50%. Not all, but most.

    • I don't know about you. But I don't think like that. I don't think "oh this guy meets these requirements but not these." It isn't a check list thing. But yeah girls tend to be pickier. I think it's because guys tend to be more "Desperate" in contrast.

      anyway, good luck , wish you the best.

  • I've dated engineers... Including a ltr with one. A lot of them tend to just not be nice.

    Intelligent girls will always prefer intelligent guys. Too many engineers can be arrogant, criticizing, rigid, insulting and generally socially unpleasant. It's a shame you'll have to fight that with showing girls that you can also be kind and companionate. Even worse that you'll likely be working with some jerks as supervisors for a few years.

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    • As far as the athlete thing... I was into books and sports, personally. A lot of it is that good fitness is universally attractive. I noticed you wrote "the girls we want to date" ... I'd wager most of them keep track of their apperance.

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    • Intelligent girls definitely have similar dating problems. Only a smart guy will be able to provide quality companionship and there are many who are considered too bossy or a know it all. Actually, many who ARE bossy and condescending. Not being a jerk seems to be something intelligent people have to make a conscious effort not to do. Though, females are often rewarded more for "playing nice" in earlier ages, so sometimes the rough edges wear off. Not always, though. Consider a woman like Hilary Clinton...

    • Not ALL artists and athletes are super successful, on the same hand. Perhaps even more than good looks or status, charisma and charm seem to generate more social and romantic rewards. Unfortunately, analytical minded people don't always thrive in this area... As you can tell by my own post here ;)

      The good news is that you CAN study and practice being more charming. Books like "How to Win Friends & Influence People" can be helpful.

What Guys Said 3

  • I'm an engineering major as well, the girls here SAY they think we're super cool, but they NEVER act on it.

    Oh well, German luxury cars are better than women anyways.

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  • GIrls are greedy, they want it all. They want the good looks and the brains. So even if they say they like intellectual guys, what they really mean is they want a good looking guy who has minimal culture and can count to 20 lol.

    If it's just an incredibly smart and interesting guy but that's kind of under average in looks most of them won't be interested.

    It's the same thing with funny and nice guys. I'm hella funny and every girl tells me I'm a great person and I'll find someone for sure. LIARS! Liars I tells ya..

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    • "... what they really mean is they want a good looking guy who has minimal culture and can count to 20 lol."

      LOL Yes. I honestly think that women want to be with guys to whom they are somehow superior. I think that's the basis of this whole schlub-with-the-hot-wife phenomenon. Women want a guy who knows he can't do better, which gives them the upper hand in the relationship.

      That idea has been repeated throughout this thread. A woman wants the guy to be smart, but not TOO smart. Or she wants him to be smart, but he should keep quiet about it. And as I've responded, I think there's a double standard. If a woman were wondering if guys like intellectual girls, any guy who expressed any negative opinion about her would be shouted down by a chorus of women telling him that he was afraid or weak.

      Women say they want strong men with some sort of talent, but then they seem to recoil at the idea of a man expressing competency or conviction in his ideas. Makes no sense.

  • i thought intelectual was only a choice for girls here

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