I don't believe in dating?

Everyone defines dating in a different way. To me, dating is when two people are seeing each other to see if they bond together well, in simplest terms, testing the water to see if they want something long term with that person.

I however do not believe in the dating concept. Why? Because I think that if you have known someone for awhile, hung out with that person a lot and talked with that person on a deeper level than friends would, I do not see the reason to go through the dating stages because by then you should already know if you want to be more with that person or not.

Is that a bad way to look at things? This guy now and I are supposedly dating, but I feel like it is stupid and just a waste of time really.

Opinions?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I see in your scenario it would make sense not to date, but how about people who never met before? blind dates? I literally only talked to a girl for like 1 week, over text, and then took her out on a date. no way in hell I got to know her in that amount of time. but the way you put it, if those two had been hanging out for a long time and know each other well, then yeah they can skip dating.

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What Guys Said 7

  • That seems like a healthy attitude about it to me, actually.. you either click right away, or you never do.

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    • Exactly! That is absolutely perfect! Also, I mean how do you respond when someone else asks you out on a date? "Oh sorry I am dating someone." Most people could then turn around and say well, dating is not officially together! I hate the concept of it really. To me, if you need to date someone it's because you don't know your feelings for them or you're just trying to keep them around.

    • Well, you could say "we can hang out, but let's not call it a date".

  • I'm divorced, and one of the reasons we split is because we stopped dating. We stopped trying to get to know each other, so dating is essential in any relationship. You date your friends and probably don't even realize it…. think about it…you go to to the movies with your friends, go out for drinks with your friends, have meals with your friends, you would do anything with your friends…and now you're like "oh my god…I'm dating my friends" and you are haha. So when you are getting involved with someone romantically, you date them too…and you shouldn't stop, just like you don't stop "dating" your friends. Your partner in life is supposed to be your best friend, or at least thats what "they" tell us anyway haha. So as far as your scenario goes, do you think it's a waste of time because you don't see yourself with him down the line? Or, do you think it's a waste of time because you feel like you should be at the sweat pants, netflix, take out dinner stage?

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    • I don't date my friends. I don't go get drinks with them, I don't go out to dinner with them or go to the movies with them. I understand where you are coming from with that aspect of dating, but for him to officially call each other boyfriend/girlfriend is the point I was trying to make. This guy in particular will not call me his girlfriend because we are "still in the dating stages" even though we have known each other for awhile, hung out a lot and already acted as if we were something more. He keeps confusing the terms "dating" and "together" as to me, those are two completely different concepts. He never established any sort of common ground either such as, not dating anyone else, that this is just between him and I. No dating anyone else. He told me before his "rule" how "dating" is considered the first month, than after that is considered "Being in a relationship" He is playing by rules I have never heard of before. Thanks for your comment though, nice perspective. :)

    • Ahh…i see. I understand where you are both coming from, so I'll try to spin some insight into what he is probably thinking. He just doesn't want the label yet, sounds like he is taking things slow, which from a guy's perspective, I think its a good thing. But if you want more than just "dating" you're going to have to talk to him about it, and ask him where he stands on the matter. This is just as much your relationship as it is his, he may have his "rules," but its your time he could be wasting also.

  • I suppose I've never really dated either.

    Always just had girls that were friends and then eventually we woke up one day and I said "so are we boyfriend/girlfriend?" and they agreed.

    Always been friends that evolved into lovers.

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    • That is how it always was with me. I think I dated one person for a week and that was because of the distance and he could not make it official until he got back because he wanted to do it the proper way (Old fashioned guy). Thank you so much for your opinion!

    • Yeah, to be honest I find dating tedious and old-fashioned, like you said. Like, why would I spend a bunch of money to hope that you like me when we can just go do some free activity (or low cost) that achieves the same thing?

      I'll have a lot more fun hiking or walking somewhere and getting ice cream or something than going out to dinner and interviewing you (which is how a lot of dates seem to go)...

  • You obviously aren't into the guy you're dating if u find dating "stupid".

    Your way of finding relationships is the best, but the odds of success are very low, especially since guys will fear being "friend zoned" if the relationship doesn't develop fast enough.

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  • Your way is cool - because you already know someone. You can skip over those early stages and just continue to spend time together but as more than just friends.

    For the rest of us who are meeting brand new people, we need the time spent on dates to get to know someone, build trust and rapport, and decide if we are compatible or not.

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  • It is a way to test the waters but its also supposed to be fun. Hanging out isn't romantic. Dating is like hanging out but with romance.

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  • Dating is more than just bonding. It's about understanding that person too, and doing things that unearth more about what that person is truly inside.

    "I feel like it is stupid and just a waste of time really", so you can't tell him that directly? And why not? Is it because you don't feel confident enough about the relationship to just tell it straight to him?

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