Should I continue trying with this girl?

Ok, I have known her for a short time, but really like her. It is a situation where she just makes me happy. Family members, before they knew about her, even commented about how much happier I seemed after I had spent time out with her. I say spending time with, because we aren't really dating. I want to be but she shoots it down whenever I bring it up. Outside of some small signs of affection (playing with hair, sitting close enough to touch legs in front of the tv, ect.) there is nothing else going on. I have known her for awhile and we have talked or texted, if not both, every day without fail for any reason.

Now the complication. She says that she will not date me because she isn't ready to move on after her divorce. He was abusive and she acts as if she might even give him another chance if he changes, but also isn't sure so she also says she is trying to move on but isn't ready to move on.

At this point I haven't invested a lot of time but am very ready to invest whatever time it takes to be with her, but I don't want to end up wasting my time with someone that will just end up crushing me every which way in the end. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Try to give her some space? Give her some time off? When she finally realized that you really meant something to her, etc., she'll come to you. If you stick around her, she might not really appreciate your presence? Maybe when you "leave" her, she'd be looking for you and admit her feelings yada yada yada. Either way just like gambling. You could either lose or win right?

    Well, I've never been in your position, but I can imagine how badly it would crush you.

    Good luck :)

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What Girls Said 6

  • She seems to make you very happy and she is probably just unsure on whether or not to trust guys again after an abusive relationship. Keep trying, be gentle and patient and show her that you're nothing life her abusive partner and that you would never do that to her. Prove to her that you would never take advantage of people like her last partner. Take it slow but eventually she'll see how great you are and stop refusing a relationship! Good Luck

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  • either this girl is worth the wait or not, you need to decide that. you don't want to "invest" a lot of time in her, just to have her leave you in the end, but you may want to stick around in case you help move her out of the "i need some time" phase.

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  • :( this is too romantic and sad!!

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    • Why is that?

    • Bc you both sound so cute with one another.. but she's clearly not ready to move in the same direction yet, its just sounds like unrequited love :(

  • Don't push her. Just be a friend who pays a little extra attention :)

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  • If she's not ready to move on, don't force because she will hurt you but not intentionally. I'd give her space, she likes having you around and having conversations with you probably because you clear her mind for the time being. I never understood why women seem to stick with the guys that treats then like trash... anyhow, do the right thing for you she's wants to be with her ex-husband it seem likes. Try... because this will satisfy your curiosity and just be cautious

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  • you'll just get hurt if she is not over her ex. I would back off and wait to see if she comes to you after you say clearly what you want from her.

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What Guys Said 0

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