How to stop being the 'guy friend'?

I'm always the guy that girls call after a breakup when they need someone to talk to but I'm never the guy that girls want to be with. I'm not that attractive or tall, but I'm a decent guy. I guess I'm just looking for advice. Thanks.


0|0
3|4

Most Helpful Guy

  • These girls probably see as just a friend now, but do not let that keep you down. You must take control of the situation by being less needy and improving self-worth. Examples: maintain a certain amount of distance from these girls you speak of (they know by now that you'll always have their back in any situation and that's sort of a reserved boyfriend trait) without realizing it you have friend zoned yourself by allowing yourself to being too available that's right too available. Solution: always maintain a certain amount of mystery towards girls especially ones you like (they eat that shit up, my friend) don't jump all in a conversation ok go slow make small talk remember open ended questions allow her to open to you and only leak a few things about you keep conversations light and short the first couple of times. They say men love the chase its actually the women who like to chase. Just from what you wrote I can tell your a good dude who means well. Your doing something right if they like to talk to you on an emotional level like that. As for self-worth do see something you don't like in the mirror do something about it workout lift weights obtain a hobby or interest that is all your own. You can overcome this my friend I know it. Remember respect comes from within and through that you will see the results. Work on yourself for the time being do not seek out love for love will find you in the most unexpected moments. Trust me women will sense you have it going on if you show them your awesome with or without them in YOUR LIFE because you're behind the wheel and she just their for the ride. Best of luck bro we've all been there

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • I agree with @PineappleBreath & @MaxVolume to a degree. As far as the calling goes, I don't think they call you because they see you as a girlfriend; they call you because you aren't a girlfriend, and because you ARE a man. You're a stable male figure in their life; they need that stability from a man. That's why it's so essential for women to have guy friends, & vice versa.

    As far as what MV said, ask if she wants you to take her out for pizza or something & listen to her, or invite her over with order-in. Then kind of gently scratch/rub her back if she tears up while she talks. That should cause her to desire more physical affection.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe you're a great listener and girls feel comfortable to tell you about their breakups. If you feel something for a certain girl, tell her you like her.

    0|0
    0|0
    • No no no and oh yeah no. How could possibly tell him that stuff she obviously sees him as a friend and nothing else if a boyfriend is name dropped like that and then you tell him to pursue? Would you honestly tell a potential mate about your post relationship like that? He needs real world perspective not sugar coated lies. Give some advice please you're a girl he needs our help

  • You're probably a great listener and they trust you.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 3

  • mrniceguy gave you some good advice.

    To me it's like these women are dating two guys. They get the sex, drama, etc, from one guy (generally a good looking dickhead). Then they get the emotional connection, friendship, support, etc, from the "nice guy" (who they're usually not sexually attracted to). They're having their cake, and eating it too.

    Basically they're using you (and me, and other guys) to get something that the guys they have sex with aren't giving them. Think of it as the opposite of a woman who's unfulfilled sexually in a relationship having a sexual affair. They won't tell you that they're not interested in you (not unless you really push them), presumably because they're insecure and think you'll ditch them if sex isn't on the cards. So they'll flirt and lead us along to get us to stick around, again with no intention of ever taking things further.

    If you put up some boundaries, then they have to make a choice, and unfortunately they're usually going to pick the guy they're having sex with. Or even if they don't pick him, they're still not going to necessarily pick you, they might go looking for another guy who's a bit less of a dickhead but still better looking than you are. If you don't put up boundaries, they're in control and they'll continue to use you because they're getting exactly what they want out of you.

    Self improvement is a good bet. You have a lot of qualities that women want already. So if you can do things to make yourself more attractive, more women will see you as a potential sexual partner rather than just an emotional crutch, might not be the same women you're friends with and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

    Fitness is the obvious one, always room for improvement there. Having a busy life, lots of friends, going out, pursuing your education/career and being successful, acquiring new skills, etc, will all help build your confidence and advertise that your'e strong and independent, which is attractive.

    0|0
    0|0
  • How about when they call you crying use that to your advantage. Ask them to come over or go over there. Act all sweet and shit like you normally do but tell them they need a real man like you. Talk all good to them and get all touchy feely and hopefully you'll get laid

    0|0
    0|0
  • Stop acting like a bitch and draw some boundaries tell them your not one of their girlfriend, remind them in fact your a man

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...