Do some guys not text a girl first simply because they're afraid of saying the wrong thing, or does it always mean they're not interested?

I mean, if he already knows that the girl really likes and cares for him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think its because of a lack of confidence. Making the first move is very intimidating for guys, but its also for girls. For example, I would make the first move by asking a girl out for lunch. Its intimidating for me because she could say no. But if she said yes, its also very intimidating for me as well to portray myself in a way that hopefully she likes. However, the same goes for the girl, I've learned that girls are just as nervous when they are asked out on a first date. They want to portray themselves in an attractive manner as well. Its a two way street, and after realizing that, it makes me feel more relaxed and therefore, more confident.

    I've learned that with girls, its not what you say but rather what you do that girls take notice. Im not afraid to text/call girls for dates, but rather Im afraid if im choosing the right restuarant/coffee shop/concert for the first date.

    Respond to my post please!!
    girlsaskguys. com/dating/q1192553-if-your-gf-bf-told-you-its-easier-to-ask-for-forgiveness-than-for

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What Guys Said 4

  • Some guys dont like to tezt and some guys are shy as well, some want the girl to text first

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    • Ok thanks.
      What if the girl texted first numerous times (like once or twice every day for a fortnight) and he still won't text first? Could he still be shy at that stage?

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    • Thanks :)
      He messaged me first yesterday and asked me to hang out, so I hung out with him last night!

    • Ok thats cool

  • I usually don't text a girl unless she texts me first. I actually do that with everybody except my closest friends. My way of thinking is "If they wanted to talk to me, they'd text me".

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    • Well that's how I'm feeling: if he wanted to text me, he'd text me, right? He already knows I want him to initiate half the conversations and that I like talking to him.

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    • Me either, just think of something casual to say.

    • I hung out with him and kept it light and casual, without mentioning my concerns. Then after that, he's started messaging me first! Thanks for your help :)

  • i'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.

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  • I had a girlfriend when i was 19 that i never text i liked her sooo much and i would stress about what if she doesn't text back so i just never text then ages later after we broke up she said she thought i wasn't that interested because i nevr text but truth was i was scared i'd get no reply or bad news so I didn't want to text because of that not because i didn't like her

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    • Ok, thanks. How could I reassure him that I do still like him, without me chasing him all the time?

    • maybe just tell him how you feel. For me if she'd told me that she thought i didn't seem interested because i wasn't txtn her i would have made the effort and we probably would have been together longer. over the years i've learned communication is vital for relationships

    • I think I will tell him, next time I see him in person alone. Thanks.

What Girls Said 3

  • I think if a guy likes you enough he would text you, even if a guy is apprehensive coz he's shy or scared of saying the wrong thing, then i still think hed text you, coz texting would be easier than speaking on phone or face to face , you could text him and just say hi how are you, to see how he responds. if its a guy you dating it could simply just mean he is busy though, but then again if he cares about you would make the time the to contact you.

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  • Oh I have this problem too, then when I message him , he will reply and then spends next couple of hours messaging me. I know my guy gets really busy and isn't a communicator. He doesn't have Facebook but it is so frustrating! I would say just try to get more in person time with him and judge from that. Apparently guys don't go by the amount of text or who started convo but by in person time. Am I wrong guys?

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    • Well I'm going to spend time with him tonight, because I caved in and messaged him and we arranged to visit

  • My guy said he was afraid of me getting tired of him when we first started texting because I rarely texted him first.

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