My friend with benefits is my good friend. We're in more "gf/bf without label relationship than FWB. But before everything started (1,5 months ago) he said he doesn't want relationship. We got much closer to each other since then. This is what he said:
"You can take care of people around you in a way 98% won't be able to. I value your aspiration to do something kind to a person, cheer up or help to sort out something. i like it. and it's not only about me."
Does he like me as a girl or as a friend?
Most Helpful Guy
When a guy says "I don't want a relationship", BELIEVE IT. Sure, he may recognize that you're an awesome person, and he may enjoy is friendship with you, and of course having sex with you, but that doesn't necessarily mean he wants the obligations and expectations of a relationship - that changes the whole dynamic, and many guys don't want that, especially when they're already getting everything they want.
Most girls (and some guys) simply can't handle a friends with benefits relationship without getting attached. Not their fault - it's biology, but girls need to understand that most guys do NOT get attached the same way girls do - guys generally either fall for a girl immediately (i. e., as soon as they get to know her) or not at all - it's rare for a guy to know a girl for a while and only after a while fall for her.
If you want a relationship with a guy, you need to ACT like you want a relationship from Day 1, and that includes not having sex until you GET the relationship and have been in it a little while. Now, you've given away any leverage you might have had to make him want a relationship.
Sure, you might get REALLY lucky, and he might be the rare exception who is okay with changing a friends with benefits into an official relationship, but the odds are very much against that.
In the future, when a guy says "I'm not looking for a relationship", understand he's telling you "we can have sex, and I might even be your friend and hang out and stuff, but don't EVER expect a relationship with me." And if you can't handle that situation, then move on and find a guy who is looking for a relationship. In most cases, you can't have it both ways.3