Would you ever date a girl with self harm scars or if she still self harms?

So I've been working on getting over my self harm habits but my hips are covered in scars and it scares me to think about it because I feel like no one will ever be able to love me because of them...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Someone will love you with your scars, but before you think about entering into a relationship you should work on yourself and try to get over or deal with any issues you have, some people have emotional scars what others can't see, and the same would go for them you too , you have to come first at the moment, , lots of people have scars and their in happy relationships, i read a quote once it said, " never be ashamed of your scars coz it simply means you were stronger than whatever it was that tried to hurt you" good luck

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What Guys Said 6

  • I would obviously date her, and also try my best to help her stop harming herself. The scars on her hip (or any other part of her body, for that matter) is a complete non-issue for me.

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  • I wouldn't care about the scars at all, other then to empathize with her pain and feel helpless to do anything about it. Assuming we were a decent match, it might be hard to date her because I don't know if I could deal with the hurt of her being in such emotional pain all the time. And if her condition ever progressed to the point of suicide I'm really not sure if I could handle that.

    So it would be a very hard choice that I would only do if we had 100% open communication and nothing like bi-polar for example. People like this often have very interesting views on the world in my experience and can make for very good friends so long as the self harm doesn't get out of control or turn into addictions of some sort.

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  • Why don't girls ever think about these things BEFORE they go psychotic and slice themselves up? Sigh.

    I had a female family member who self harmed, and I've met several other girls that have as well. Seeing what I've seen, that would be a HUGE, screaming sign stating "run away! run away!"

    A sweet, cute girlfriend is a wonderful thing.

    A psych patient, not so much.

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    • The thing is, we're not insane. It's just a way of coping. Calling self harmers phsycotic is like saying that someone is phsycotic for coping by drinking or smoking. It's nothing but a coping method with a much more direct self injury and (for most other coping skills) a bit more dangerous.

    • From what I've seen, it's not just a way of coping. People "cope" by drinking sometimes, or watching movies, running, punching a bag, etc. The girls I've met who cut/self harmed all had very real, deep issues, way beyond "I need to burn stress/cope." One attempted suicide shortly after her parents discovered her cutting, and her diary revealed very bad mental issues.

  • If you had a cut or two, OK, not a big deal. We all make mistakes. If you were a heavy duty cutter, which you sound like you are, No, Never.

    I did a book on cutters. Sadly they are too sick and disturbed. The scars don't bother me so much unless they are just too ugly. Their mind and self hatred is something I can't deal with, their mind is what kills the chance with me.

    You may find somebody that does not know much about the disease, that is your best hope. They may even think it is cool. But I did the bible on it and don't want to deal with it. I hope things work out for you. Good luck!

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  • I dated a girl who self harmed and over the years I helped her stop. We broke up and after that I both started. I haven't cut for months nonetheless I would still date a girl who self harmed. You have friends and family that love you regardless if what you do. There is someone special out there for you. Make everyday special in some way. It's going to be hard and you might not stop overnight but if you try happiness will come.

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  • If your past is in the past, the right person will understand and love you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well done to you for stopping and trying to overcome such a big hurdle in your life! The next step should be learning to live yourself, your body and your scars. Your scars dont define you, but you need to be able to accept them and find them beautiful because its prrof of how much youve been through and been able to survive and fight through it all. Onve you are able to do that, other people will. Your scars won't matter to them if they dont matter to you. They will live you and your body and your scars regardless cos its apart of you.

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  • I self harmed really badly, my whole entire body is covered in them, but guys don't mind unless that's really all you talk about, one of my best friends that's all she wiuld focus on in relationships, and it got very tiring to them because it's hard to deal with, so they left her, if you have a good state of mind and carry yourself strongly then they wouldn't mind

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