Why do guys walk away from me even when I approach them?

This is kinda a follow up question to the "Why do guys stare but never approach me?" Well I went out this past weekend and I actually for the past two weekends have been approaching guys and talking to them but it seems that they'll talk to me but then they'll walk away from me.

I told this one guy he looked exactly like my friend and i thought it would be a good convo starter but then his friend said "Hey man you're up for pool" So he said to me "Be right back" And he kept passing me in the bar and talking to other people, and I was talking to other people as well, but it seems to be the same pattern. These guys will talk to me but then walk away and not go further like giving me their number and what not. It makes me feel really insecure :( Even me approaching these guys I still get rejected. I don't know what I do wrong? I don't know why these guys walk away from me? I thought by me approaching it would be more at ease for them to talk to me and get to know me! :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • lol Your scenario sounds like something I would do (I love pool).

    Don't take it personally. Sometimes guys truly are oblivious. Even if you brake the ice, they might think that you were just being social (saying that I look exactly like your friend doesn't exactly make me think that you find me attractive) and can still afraid to push on. They might also be taken already.

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What Guys Said 14

  • You're learning what most men already know and what most women have absolutely no clue about - this is what happens when you approach, most people just aren't that interested in you, and you have to keep approaching until you find one that does like you. It's a numbers game. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong, although it might help I you were more direct. If a girl came up to me and told me I look like her friend then started talking to me I'd probably just think she was being friendly.

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    • This is also accurate to a certain extent... men get confused... not all men are ready to flirt at the flip of a switch... in any given setting.. probably 10 % are ready. Also women complain about men taking their friendliness as flirting. But if it was me i would flirt right back

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    • Like I said, I think it's because of how you approach them. I'd be more likely to stick around if I thought the girl fancied me rather than just being friendly. You must have seen guys complain about being in the friendzone? Guys don't want to be platonic friends with most women, especially not random women they meet while out.

    • Yes! Exactly! Thank you!

  • You are really shocking them; girls don't usually approach guys at all and since they have no experience with this they get scared and very uncertain what to do. Keep doing what your doing and hopefully you'll meet a guy with lots of confident and not scared to chat with you.

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    • Keep doing what you're doing; the world needs more girls brave enough to approach guys. I don't find what you're doing scary but something unique and refreshing. I like being approached :)

    • Lol, I am getting very discouraged my friend. I think I am making a fool out of myself lol. But thank you! :)

  • Don't worry have you tried somewhere other than a bar? I think you are cute from your photo and would gladly give you my number if you approached me. i guess the guys were either to drunk or focused on pool. Either way they are not worth the time! be strong keep approaching this is how it feels to be a guy lol! its hard i know but allow yourself to be open and approach men with confidence and i think you will do fine best of luck!

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  • On behalf of all men: welcome to our world.
    I lost count of the rejections that I received during my teens and 20s. In the end I stopped trying.

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  • It could be the way you are approaching them. Maybe you are coming onto them too strong or something?

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  • Hey welcome to plight of guys everywhere, it's a numbers game it's like for every 100 guys you talk too you'll succeed with 5-10 of them. If you want higher rates join a social circle like a club or something, then get friends of friends thing going and that will help.

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    • True! That is actually a good idea. Thank you! :)

    • I'd recommend the app meetup it works really well. Pretty much is a board for different groups to recruit, meetup, and discuss things about their group. All different kinds from wine tasting, dancing, hiking, whatever you like

  • Were you in a gay bar? That's the only rational explanation. Either that or guys in America are weird.

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    • Lol, I wasn't in a gay bar, however gay bars are a lot of fun though! :) :D

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    • Lol, I guess so! Maybe there is something wrong with me that I am not aware about? :(

    • If there is I sure as hell can't see it :)

  • I would keep talking to you and hopefully get to know you

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  • Kudos for approaching men.

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  • Start doing hifey fifey dances and monkey shuffles while jumping up and down with a candy cane, thrn they'll approach you.

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  • You probably shouldn't have started with "you look like my friend".

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  • They may be gay, i would defenitly talk with you over playing pool

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  • if that's your real picture those guys are nuts either that or there's something in that pic i can't see

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    • No that's me in the pic. I don't know, maybe i'm not interesting enough. :(

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    • I'm not fat, hahaha. I would say i'm average. Haha, thanks!!

    • I see you're looks kinda chubby in you're pic that's why I thought you might be fat , then I realized you're from the states lol

  • You've already gotten to the point where you break the ice yourself, which is awesome. It can definitely shell shock guys when a woman breaks societal norms and does it herself. I'd say to just take it a step further and ask them to hang out some time or ask for their number.

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    • very true.. although i don't think she needs to ask for their number... if he doesn't understand and ask himself he would be a bit thick.

What Girls Said 6

  • Don't keep telling yourself that you aren't interesting. I'm sure you have your own interests etc. Sometimes people just don't click right away and its hard. I am worse, I could never do what you do unless I was completely uninterested in the person and I was just being friendly to start a convo. I could never talk to someone I'm interested in. The times I've tried I've failed or turns out the guy don't click either and here the men say its a numbers game, so I don't know, guess I'll be left be alone. :-( At least you've tried and you are still young.

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    • Lol, awww :( I'm sorry! Yeah it's hard though and it's very discouraging. I don't feel like approaching any guy because of the hits of rejection I got. But I have to be tipsy in order to do it lol. Thank you, you are too kind! I know how you feel, hang in there! :) xoxoxo

  • you have a cute face... but im wondering about your weight? I can't tell if you are fat or not based on your picture, but it looks like you might be a little chunky. body is really important to guys , especially the ones who are good looking enough to approach, so if you are bigger than theyd like then that's more than likely why

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  • Well maybe you're just in the wrong place. Guys go to bars to relax with the boys, blow off steam, pool etc. If you're interested in dating look elsewhere

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  • you are brave i won't be able to do that :)
    the guys here have given u their views which i find useful

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    • Thank you, but I am being very discouraged lol. I am kinda like feeling insecure now. Yeah there are a lot of good opinions on this post! :)

    • Like what the guys here mentioned. .. it gave u the insight of men world.
      I have to agree that it isn't easy to approach someone we are attracted to and definitely it isn't good to be rejected.

  • I feel like I was living through ur problem. I have the same problem, I dont know why they do that and yes it makes me insecure as well. Once u find the answer please let me know.

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    • Aww i'm sorry you feel that way too! :( It is a bad feeling. I'll let you know when I find the answer to this, thanks.

    • I've heard from people that guys think they can never have u so theyblow us off. They should take the clue n realize there is interest if we start conversing with them.

    • Exactly! It makes no sense! I don't get it at all! :(

  • Its ok guys are slow both mentally and physically I did this test thing on the computer and it said the linger a guy waits to talk to you the more he likes you or he's a a**whole and you don't want that

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